1 00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:27,453 - Sure, whatever you prefer to call it. 2 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:30,656 The human situation, or the American nightmare 3 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:34,359 that's become the international nightmare, 4 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:40,232 or love, or extreme awareness, or, 5 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,601 this interview is live, right? 6 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,471 I'd like to change the subject 45 degrees, 7 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:50,642 if you don't mind, um, we only have a few more minutes. 8 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,644 Okay, right. 9 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,613 I'd like to start a rumor. 10 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,449 With some luck, a few young writers listen 11 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,451 to this broadcast, and they can spread 12 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,553 the rumor to their friends and enemies. 13 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:09,461 Mm, now, now don't take this the wrong way. 14 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,331 What I'm about to say is not a cry for help. 15 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:16,335 It's not in any way connected to, or interested in, 16 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:20,639 the politics of victimhood, and if anyone receives 17 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:25,144 it that way, all the worse for him. 18 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:31,150 What I'd like to say is, I'm going to kill myself. 19 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,885 Please don't interrupt me. 20 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:36,855 I am going to end the life of Maya dardel. 21 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,258 My work is in decline. 22 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:43,262 I, I see no need to birth a few more mediocre books 23 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:48,400 and then finally in my 70s and 80s squirt 24 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:53,338 out a few more abortions as embarrassing as, 25 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,310 it's disrespectful to name names. 26 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,246 The point is, euthanasia. 27 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,815 It's the thing to do. 28 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:07,920 I don't have any family, 29 00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:11,523 so I'm going to need an heir and an executor. 30 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,193 So I'm going to be interviewing youngish writers here, 31 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,461 at my house, in los gatos, California, 32 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:20,265 for this position, starting now. 33 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,968 Right, right and the guy I pick gets 34 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:27,472 my house and my archives and publishing rights, 35 00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:31,210 all my knickknacks and dishes 36 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,712 and music and books when I'm gone. 37 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,821 Hm. 38 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,891 So anybody talented and capable 39 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:51,396 can email me by emailing the ithurburn agency. 40 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:56,568 My agent's name is Lucas Marcy, Lucas m-a-r-cy. 41 00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:03,609 Mm hmm, yep, Luc's thrilled, death's lucrative. 42 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:04,643 Um. 43 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,447 Of course I'm serious. 44 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,917 Don't be narrow-minded. 45 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,554 I want young but professional, published writers of poetry, 46 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:19,858 but I'd consider a poetic novelist or essayist. 47 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:26,999 Also, also, women need not apply. 48 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:30,702 Well because I don't like women's writing. 49 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,037 Yes. 50 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,974 No, no. 51 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:40,679 Dickinson yes, some of it. 52 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,514 No, no. 53 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,517 Wolfe was a man. 54 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:51,923 No, no, George Elliot was a man. 55 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,293 Yes, no. 56 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:59,498 Sontag, sontag was entirely a guy. 57 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,067 I know, I slept with her. 58 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:10,642 So any of you young men out there, 59 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,944 if you think you're it, 60 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,348 go ahead and look up my agent, yes? 61 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,728 - I can show you my work right now here. 62 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,930 - Leave it on the floor. 63 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:37,336 I probably should've had you email me some 64 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:40,339 of your work before you drove all the way up here. 65 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:45,077 - Right, I can, I can send you some from my phone right now. 66 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,746 - Put that back. They disgust me. 67 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:48,780 - Phones? 68 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,785 - Other people's phones. 69 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:57,456 - Right, totally, no, i totally understand that. 70 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,592 They're like, other people's phones. 71 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,695 You know, they touch your ear. 72 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,365 They have like wax on them, 73 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,468 other people's girlfriends' photos on them. 74 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:13,872 - Tell me with extreme candor what you think of your talent. 75 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:18,710 - Totally, I can. Talk about that. 76 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,112 Um. 77 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:32,691 Done. 78 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,493 - What? 79 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:37,729 - No you just, you just have to know. 80 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,598 - Know what? 81 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,069 - Do you have a bathroom I could use? 82 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,004 - I don't like other people in my bathroom. 83 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,906 - It's cool. 84 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,446 - What do you think of me? 85 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,983 - I love your work, I love shadow, twenty-seven fold. 86 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:01,486 - I meant what do you think of me physically? 87 00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,488 - Physically? - Mm. 88 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,626 - I'm not really, um. 89 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,495 - Be candid, Moses. 90 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:11,696 - Candid? 91 00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,131 - Very. 92 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,602 - I'm not really comfortable. 93 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,970 - Who's comfortable? 94 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,872 Just be honest. 95 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,508 - What, do I think you're a good-looking woman? 96 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,509 - Yes. 97 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,111 - I mean, yeah. 98 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:30,615 - But uglier than women your age. 99 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,886 I'm a good piece of fruit too long in the fridge. 100 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,088 - That's, isn't that, like. 101 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,991 - But good-looking enough. 102 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,861 At least as I sit here across from you in what appears 103 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:47,833 to be some kind of impenetrable Artemis state, 104 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,502 enough that you're probably wondering what 105 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:53,505 it'd be like to command me, strip me. 106 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:54,739 - Strip you? 107 00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,042 - Men are this kind of machine. 108 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,845 Women my age have the last outer crust 109 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,647 of our prettiness left, and that can be 110 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,685 combined with haughtiness or real superiority. 111 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:10,689 Until a young man badly wants to break that outer crust. 112 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,924 He wants to prove this and that 113 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,126 to himself, and the middle-aged woman. 114 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,128 But you see, the woman's unwise if she 115 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,897 allows herself to be stripped. 116 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,533 The thing about Artemis is that, 117 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,102 is that her nakedness in the pool in the woods, 118 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:27,506 when actaeon sees her, yes? 119 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:28,907 - Um, yeah. 120 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:31,109 - Her nakedness is not just a myth 121 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,111 about the virginity of maidens. 122 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,780 It's a myth also about the final, 123 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:39,651 brittle sex appeal of older women. 124 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,724 If you were to see me naked, 125 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,527 like actaeon, you would have to die. 126 00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:58,537 You're a mature man, correct? 127 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,171 - Yeah. 128 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,674 - You're not one of these immature fumblers, 129 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:07,312 one of these boys who can't find the clitoris? 130 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:10,815 - Like a, sorry, a woman's clitoris? 131 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:15,820 - Come here. 132 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:24,563 Nearly any experience is good for a writer. 133 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,932 The same can't be said for those who don't write. 134 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,166 - Yeah i actually brought 135 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,901 my work, I'd like to show you. 136 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,703 - Come, sit. 137 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,807 - You want me 138 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,876 to sit next to you on the couch? 139 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,311 - Here. 140 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,680 - Here? 141 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,881 - Exactly. 142 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,785 - Okay. 143 00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,087 Here? 144 00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:50,989 Okay. 145 00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:57,696 Sorry, I'm. 146 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:04,669 - Take off my tights. 147 00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,408 You're surprisingly not bad at that. 148 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:46,811 - Thanks. 149 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,382 - Would you like to show me your poems? 150 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,888 But first go clean your face. 151 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,432 - Should i just use the sink? 152 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,401 - Mm. - Okay. 153 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:34,993 - To save us time why don't you just show me what 154 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:39,230 you're certain is your best work in that binder. 155 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,999 - My best? 156 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,367 - Mm. 157 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,846 You read it to me. 158 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,355 - Holy shit, um, that's the title. 159 00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,327 Holy shit, this Campbell's soup 160 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,430 is tasty, though it, come, though. 161 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,737 Holy shit this Campbell's soup is tasty, 162 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:22,307 though come to think of it, it tastes like nothing 163 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:26,745 plus the idea of warhol with his super creepy friends, 164 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,981 so many more than I have, speaking fondly of the times 165 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,251 they all had doing nothing, doing nothing, 166 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:37,856 doing nothing, doing nothing, making a Hamlet sandwich 167 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:42,227 I have to make for myself, because I have no friends. 168 00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:49,033 - I'm adjuncting a composition course 169 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,902 at hartwick college in the spring. 170 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:55,006 That's in New York, the catskills, mm, 171 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,476 I got my mfa last year, from the Iowa writers workshop. 172 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:03,047 And I'm the editor-in-chief of a small magazine, a webzine. 173 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,916 - I went to Iowa. 174 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,951 - Did you? 175 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:10,455 - Back when everyone smoked cigarettes and nobody got aids. 176 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:14,192 - Okay, there wouldn't be any kind 177 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,195 of legal complications, would there? 178 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,165 What I mean is, when you, if you select me. 179 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,367 I'll be far away with an alibi. 180 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,102 I don't mean to be rude, 181 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,204 I just think it's best to be up front. 182 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,374 You don't expect me to be here, to help you? 183 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,377 - This is not the process. 184 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,212 - What? 185 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,346 - The process, it's not the process. 186 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,815 - What's the process? 187 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,183 - First we talk about your work, 188 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,385 and then I, I was probably-- 189 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:44,155 - well that stuff that I sent you is actually quite old. 190 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,957 I just sent it because it seems 191 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,826 to do well with the editors of magazines. 192 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,027 I'd like to show you what I'm writing currently. 193 00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:50,461 - Show me. 194 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:54,199 - It's uh, it's an epic poem. 195 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,467 Or well, considering that idea. 196 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,170 It's uh, well, better to show you. 197 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:18,189 - Cimputer, hmm? 198 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,191 Ever been to the Tate modern in London? 199 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,993 - No. 200 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:22,994 - But you've been to modern art museums. 201 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,562 - Of course. 202 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,564 It seems ironic now, but I actually wrote my 203 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,366 undergraduate thesis on the transgressive corporeality 204 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,101 of mannequins and humans in the early work of - 205 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,403 - imagine three people in a modern art museum. 206 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,505 The first is a pot-bellied father of four from 207 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:38,142 Kentucky or provincial France or middle Russia somewhere. 208 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:41,412 He's a tourist, he only likes landscapes and nudes 209 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,448 and paintings of battles and ships. 210 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,417 He's the guy who looks the Jackson pollock the same 211 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:51,422 way he looks at your generation's latest abstract knockoff 212 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:55,159 and he says to himself about both, Christ, 213 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,562 what a con-job, my kid can paint this. 214 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,030 - Hm. 215 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,598 Right, my kid can paint this. 216 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,134 - Now imagine a second person in the museum. 217 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:07,372 This is you, this is an educated person. 218 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:13,077 He's visiting the museum in an anxious, critical capacity. 219 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:16,281 He goes into the room the tourist father just left, 220 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,316 and looks at the pollock and looks at the knockoff, 221 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,418 and because the knockoff was painted very recently, 222 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:24,422 it gets his attention, and he stands there wondering 223 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,191 if it's better than his own mysterious canvases 224 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:30,461 full of similar random shreds of form and color. 225 00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,032 - This is me? 226 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,533 - This is you. 227 00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:38,636 - I think it's always better not 228 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,405 to arbitrarily stereotype a-- 229 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,441 - now, imagine a third person in the museum. 230 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:47,211 This is me, I'll look at the pollock and the knockoff. 231 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:50,048 I like the pollock for its rhythm and originality. 232 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,984 The knockoff has some qualities I like, 233 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:57,221 but it's half a century too late, it's not original. 234 00:15:57,223 --> 00:16:01,225 And the longer I look at it, the less I like it, why? 235 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,962 Because I hear a little voice inside me saying, 236 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:07,198 Christ, my kid could paint this. 237 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,434 And then I hear another voice inside me saying, you don't 238 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:13,237 have a kid, and you sound like a tourist from Kentucky. 239 00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,406 You're not part of the cool crowd. 240 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,442 Other people get it, not you though. 241 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:20,278 And then I hear a third voice in my head. 242 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,113 No, Maya, it's okay, you do get it, 243 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,148 this really is a mediocre painting. 244 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,683 This really could've been painted 245 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,453 by a kid or even a cimputer. 246 00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:34,325 And then the people in my head start arguing. 247 00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,329 - Are you saying that my work is-- 248 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,331 - shit? 249 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:44,469 Not quite, it's more like chewed but undigested food. 250 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:49,140 You're young, there's hope for you. 251 00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:59,584 - In the back corner. 252 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,651 That piece. 253 00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:06,024 Do you consider that good art? 254 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,459 - That's a different story, that's not paint. 255 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,796 That's blood and human brain matter. 256 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,732 Isn't that terrible? 257 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:18,336 But hey, you like cerebral art. 258 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,073 She had lung cancer. 259 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,308 That was her very last painting, a perverse friend 260 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:28,246 of mine bought it at an auction for my birthday last year. 261 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:31,249 - Hm, I think what you and your museum-going self 262 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,752 and your third self are missing is a purposeful negation. 263 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,455 This is apparently counterintuitive. 264 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,490 Okay. 265 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:43,461 Purposefulness would seem to have a positive component, yes? 266 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,230 It positively is negation. 267 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,133 But here's where I might take issue with my own poem. 268 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,702 Negation positively is negation, 269 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,671 but only within a conceptual system, 270 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:57,442 the perhaps a priori system of logical coherence. 271 00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:00,778 So what I'm doing isn't really writing, 272 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:04,449 but unwriting, you see? 273 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:08,486 My negation has no positive aspect, it simply isn't. 274 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,288 - That's marvelous. 275 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,524 - Thank you. 276 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,227 - Did you really say my negation 277 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,763 has no positive aspect to me? 278 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,765 - Yes. 279 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:25,169 Yeah, I think it's blatant at the third line, apacity. 280 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,476 - Do you have a wife? 281 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,580 Or a girlfriend? 282 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,782 - No, no, not exactly. 283 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:41,819 - Are you able to carry out 284 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,888 a difficult task from beginning to end? 285 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:51,329 It's no good, just get in there and roughen it up. 286 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,198 Cut was not finished, you need to cut. 287 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,167 Jesuit priest, what were you thinking? 288 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,902 It's actually in very poor taste. 289 00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,770 - Just give me two seconds, one, two, three-- 290 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,572 - why don't you go home 291 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,741 and rewrite this and come back, all right? 292 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,510 - 21, 22. 293 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:06,544 23, 24. 294 00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:09,647 25. 295 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,800 - Everything is turning sharper. 296 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:35,473 This is called being old. 297 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:41,812 It turns sharp for a moment before it turns blurry, 298 00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:46,551 everything does, at a certain age. 299 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:52,456 What is this species of thought that is not 300 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:59,230 a memory because it never happened, but so memory-like? 301 00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,867 This thought of myself at 40 maybe. 302 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:07,939 Holding a baby. 303 00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:23,754 - There's such a strange green. 304 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,725 Amphibian green in this view. 305 00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:36,634 - I like your sweater, where'd you buy it? 306 00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:40,538 - This? 307 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,739 - Mm. 308 00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:46,510 I don't, I don't remember. 309 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,615 - Come on, don't tell me you don't remember. 310 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,950 That's a $400 sweater. 311 00:20:58,523 --> 00:21:01,592 - What kind of tree is this? 312 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,394 - Horse Chestnut. 313 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:07,531 - Chest nut. 314 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,835 Chest-- - what? 315 00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:11,869 - What? 316 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,661 You have a lot of glass. 317 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,699 Are these all filled with glass? 318 00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:47,905 - I have a lot of porcelain and stemware. 319 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,507 - Stemware. 320 00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:56,847 Don't you like how all these 321 00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:01,085 anglo-Saxon words? 322 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,592 - What's this? 323 00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:15,333 - That's when they crush into each other. 324 00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:17,535 - Mm. 325 00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:22,073 - Chestnut, stemware. 326 00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:24,842 Foxfire. 327 00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:27,945 Footstool. 328 00:22:29,715 --> 00:22:31,115 - Outhouse. 329 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,522 Rat hole. 330 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:39,790 Hm, rat hole. 331 00:22:41,727 --> 00:22:42,927 - Mouthwash. 332 00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:48,132 Are you trying to ingratiate yourself 333 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,601 by playing language games? 334 00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:53,504 - What? 335 00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:54,505 No. 336 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:56,540 I was-- 337 00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,542 - it's okay. 338 00:22:58,544 --> 00:22:59,910 I like the word, 339 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:04,548 Chestnut, hummingbird. 340 00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,518 Nightmare. 341 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,086 - Of course you do. 342 00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:11,689 I know, you use it as an adjective in-- 343 00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:19,530 - please, don't quote me to me. 344 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:20,564 - Okay. 345 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,470 - Are you gay? 346 00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:27,471 - What? 347 00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:28,539 I was just, um. 348 00:23:30,809 --> 00:23:31,842 Rat hole. 349 00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:48,959 I know about porcelain. 350 00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,194 - What? 351 00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:52,563 - I know about the colors. 352 00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:57,067 - What does this mean, you know about porcelain. 353 00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:59,537 - You probably already know this, 354 00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:06,710 but there were these chemists in vincennes. 355 00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:11,549 These chemists they would um, grind the colors. 356 00:24:11,551 --> 00:24:14,585 Then they started to experiment. 357 00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:20,558 I think they first had some success with yellow. 358 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,962 And then lapis blue, like, 359 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:28,632 lapis blue like in this piece here. 360 00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:42,580 You already know that. 361 00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:43,914 - Tell me. 362 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:53,557 - Well, then, in 1750-something they, they discovered green. 363 00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:56,160 And then blue Celeste. 364 00:24:56,162 --> 00:25:00,197 And then they discovered the rose colors last. 365 00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:04,235 And then they killed the king and queen 366 00:25:04,237 --> 00:25:07,571 and some of the porcelain makers. 367 00:25:07,573 --> 00:25:10,274 Also I was in Chicago. 368 00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:16,547 And the porcelain collection at the art institute, 369 00:25:16,549 --> 00:25:23,153 there's this plate, or a serving platter, 370 00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:28,058 and on it is a scene of what they 371 00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:34,732 call peasant life, or pastoral life. 372 00:25:34,734 --> 00:25:40,538 It's a green and rose design, and written around the rim 373 00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:45,776 the platter's rim, pensent-ils au raisin? 374 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:50,814 - Are they thinking about the grapes? 375 00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:52,616 - Yes. 376 00:25:52,618 --> 00:25:56,153 And I was with my friend Marie at the time. 377 00:25:56,155 --> 00:26:01,091 And she saw the plate first and translated the caption, 378 00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:05,029 and somehow I misheard her, and I thought 379 00:26:05,031 --> 00:26:09,166 that she'd said are they thinking about the greeks? 380 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:12,036 - Where are you going with this? 381 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,873 - I'm not going anywhere, um. 382 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:22,112 I just thought it was beautiful that there 383 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:25,349 could be some people on a plate and then some other 384 00:26:25,351 --> 00:26:30,154 people eating off the plate in the 18th century, 385 00:26:30,156 --> 00:26:33,357 just some people in the 18th century in France 386 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:37,161 being asked by a plate if maybe the people they were 387 00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:41,365 eating off of might be thinking about the greeks? 388 00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:47,771 - Are you responsible? 389 00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:51,041 - Responsible? 390 00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:55,913 - Do you pay all your bills on time? 391 00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:59,316 Do you respond to emails? 392 00:26:59,318 --> 00:27:04,188 - I don't, I don't really have that many bills. 393 00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:06,357 - Why are you living in Texas? 394 00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:10,961 - I don't know. 395 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:13,697 My mother lives there. 396 00:27:13,699 --> 00:27:19,370 - Are you one of these, codependent with your mother? 397 00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:27,177 - So this is silicon valley? 398 00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:31,749 - You're on top of the south wall of silicon valley. 399 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:35,119 - Kevin said you grow grapes? 400 00:27:36,888 --> 00:27:38,856 - Top acre. 401 00:27:38,858 --> 00:27:41,325 I don't do it, a company does it and gives me a cut. 402 00:27:46,197 --> 00:27:48,866 - Why are you going to kill yourself? 403 00:27:48,868 --> 00:27:53,404 You could write five more books like the Monday metaphysics. 404 00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:04,381 - Is that your favorite book of mine? 405 00:28:04,383 --> 00:28:05,783 - Maybe. 406 00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:15,392 - I was 31 when I wrote that. 407 00:28:15,394 --> 00:28:20,397 Do you think I'm remotely similar 408 00:28:20,399 --> 00:28:24,401 to whatever woman wrote that book? 409 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:27,204 - Are those gunshots? 410 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:30,074 - Ah, my wacky neighbor. 411 00:28:30,076 --> 00:28:34,411 Nothing alarming, target practice, several times a week. 412 00:28:42,821 --> 00:28:45,122 - I think you're similar. 413 00:28:47,058 --> 00:28:52,196 I think that you could write good books 414 00:28:52,198 --> 00:28:55,199 that aren't similar to your old books. 415 00:28:57,235 --> 00:29:01,105 I don't think you should do it. 416 00:29:01,107 --> 00:29:03,907 - Are you here to inherit my estate 417 00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:06,977 or to convince me not to kill myself? 418 00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,746 - I don't know why I'm here. 419 00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:14,418 I just don't like the idea of 420 00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:18,889 death, just sitting there. 421 00:29:41,012 --> 00:29:42,212 - Mm. 422 00:29:54,993 --> 00:29:58,495 - What's this horseshit people telling me? 423 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,434 - You know, it's worked for a few others. 424 00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:08,038 Plath, sexton, woolf. 425 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:12,309 It kind of jolts you into a different category. 426 00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:16,446 - Blech, tastes like horseshit. 427 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:18,482 Shit of a horse. 428 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:23,220 - You know, priests don't pay taxes, neither should we. 429 00:30:24,455 --> 00:30:25,989 - Who's we? 430 00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:27,057 - Us. 431 00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:28,592 Culture creators. 432 00:30:28,594 --> 00:30:32,429 Not you, you're a tune-inner drop-outer. 433 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:34,431 You're anti-culture. 434 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:36,233 - Culture my yeast. 435 00:30:38,436 --> 00:30:39,937 - Exactly. 436 00:30:39,939 --> 00:30:42,406 - Fucking bacteria. 437 00:30:45,443 --> 00:30:47,845 Prepare your brain. 438 00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:52,416 I'm gonna teach you a new paradox, crocodile paradox. 439 00:30:57,255 --> 00:31:01,391 A crocodile snatches a drag queen from a riverbank. 440 00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:04,261 The queen mother is there for some reason 441 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:09,066 and pleads with the crocodile, please don't eat my son. 442 00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:12,269 The croc says your majesty, i will only not eat 443 00:31:12,271 --> 00:31:14,905 your daughter if you can guess correctly whether 444 00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:19,042 or not I'm really gonna eat your skinny-ass daughter. 445 00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:25,015 So there's no problem if the mother guesses 446 00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:28,252 that the crocodile won't eat her son. 447 00:31:28,254 --> 00:31:31,221 She's either right or wrong. 448 00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:35,459 But if she guesses he will eat him, it's fucked up. 449 00:31:35,461 --> 00:31:41,465 - You told me this one years ago, without the queens. 450 00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:43,233 Do you still nap? 451 00:31:46,471 --> 00:31:48,572 - I don't know. 452 00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:51,208 - I used to nap. 453 00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,911 If I got caught, by ismail even, 454 00:31:53,913 --> 00:31:56,313 I'd lie and say i wasn't sleeping. 455 00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:04,554 It's so undignified to be caught 456 00:32:04,556 --> 00:32:07,557 sleeping in the middle of the day. 457 00:32:12,697 --> 00:32:15,399 - Yeah but if the mother is right 458 00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:21,138 and the crocodile really is gonna eat her son, 459 00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:23,440 then he has to return him. 460 00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:30,447 Fucked up. 461 00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:37,454 I wouldn't publicly joke about suicide. 462 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,300 What are you doing? 463 00:32:51,536 --> 00:32:53,603 - Sailing to Byzantium. 464 00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:03,981 Were you surprised i invited you up here? 465 00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:06,450 - I don't know, do you have a lot of guys applying? 466 00:33:06,452 --> 00:33:08,485 - Mm. 467 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,455 But did you feel encouraged after our first phone call? 468 00:33:11,457 --> 00:33:13,290 - Uh. 469 00:33:13,292 --> 00:33:16,059 I felt like you understand that I'm an adult. 470 00:33:16,061 --> 00:33:19,463 Like you could tell i don't fuck up. 471 00:33:19,465 --> 00:33:21,465 - I researched you on the Internet. 472 00:33:21,467 --> 00:33:24,468 I read your little squib in n plus one. 473 00:33:24,470 --> 00:33:26,336 Do you dislike Americans as much 474 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:29,272 as you dislike the Russians and the Israelis? 475 00:33:29,274 --> 00:33:32,376 - Well, I'm egalitarian, you know? 476 00:33:32,378 --> 00:33:36,179 I think all cultures and ethnicities should suffer 477 00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:40,484 the same amount of abuse, turks piss me off for example. 478 00:33:40,486 --> 00:33:42,185 - My ex is a turk. 479 00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,653 - Yeah, I know. 480 00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:44,654 - You know? 481 00:33:44,656 --> 00:33:45,756 - Sure. 482 00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:48,492 - What about Chinese? 483 00:33:48,494 --> 00:33:53,463 - Um, bribery, dragon breath. 484 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:55,465 Too many male people. 485 00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:56,466 - Swiss? 486 00:33:58,302 --> 00:34:02,773 - Smug, boring, white, mm. 487 00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:05,776 - Saudis? 488 00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:07,544 - Oh saudis, yeah sure, saudis, 489 00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:09,379 if a woman in Saudi Arabia wants 490 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,648 to press charges, she needs four witnesses. 491 00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:16,353 So as long as you gangbang with only three friends. 492 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,488 - Canadians. 493 00:34:18,490 --> 00:34:20,190 - Boring. 494 00:34:20,192 --> 00:34:21,391 - Mexicans? 495 00:34:26,497 --> 00:34:29,332 - I don't have a problem with Mexicans. 496 00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,500 - Hm. 497 00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:33,303 - How am I doing? 498 00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:37,174 - Doing what? 499 00:34:37,176 --> 00:34:39,176 - Do you like me, do you see me as executor material? 500 00:34:39,178 --> 00:34:43,747 - Possibly, what's your familiarity with publishing? 501 00:34:43,749 --> 00:34:46,850 - I have an agent, she can't get my book a deal, though. 502 00:34:46,852 --> 00:34:49,152 - Why not? 503 00:34:49,154 --> 00:34:51,455 - Probably it isn't very good. 504 00:34:51,457 --> 00:34:54,224 - Why not? 505 00:34:54,226 --> 00:34:58,195 - I don't know, maybe the same reason you're-- 506 00:34:58,197 --> 00:35:01,565 - perhaps it's the opposite reason. 507 00:35:01,567 --> 00:35:03,633 - Yeah, maybe. 508 00:35:03,635 --> 00:35:09,506 But can I ask you a borderline rude direct question? 509 00:35:09,508 --> 00:35:11,508 Are you sick? 510 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:14,144 Do you have something terminal? 511 00:35:14,146 --> 00:35:17,581 - I wouldn't tell you if I did, but no. 512 00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:19,349 - Well if I were terminal, 513 00:35:19,351 --> 00:35:21,718 I'd probably take a bunch of heroin. 514 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:22,719 You ever try it? 515 00:35:22,721 --> 00:35:23,854 - No. 516 00:35:23,856 --> 00:35:25,355 - I tried it. 517 00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:28,492 - What's heroin like? 518 00:35:28,494 --> 00:35:31,528 - Well it's not like 600 orgasms or whatever people say. 519 00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:33,196 It was pleasant. 520 00:35:33,198 --> 00:35:36,299 I vomited a little and fell asleep. 521 00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:38,301 - I have no interest in heroin, 522 00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,437 but I wonder if your description of the drug 523 00:35:40,439 --> 00:35:44,174 says more about you than about the drug. 524 00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:47,244 - Yeah, maybe. 525 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:59,322 - Would you describe yourself as a sensual person? 526 00:35:59,324 --> 00:36:01,791 - I would describe myself as cunning. 527 00:36:01,793 --> 00:36:03,927 - Mm. 528 00:36:03,929 --> 00:36:06,329 - Yeah, my brain is fast enough to fake 529 00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,431 its way through any sensual experience. 530 00:36:08,433 --> 00:36:11,535 And then, you know, what's the difference? 531 00:36:11,537 --> 00:36:16,806 - The difference between sensuality and fake sensuality? 532 00:36:16,808 --> 00:36:18,742 There's a tremendous difference. 533 00:36:18,744 --> 00:36:21,811 - Yeah, maybe, I'm skeptical though. 534 00:36:21,813 --> 00:36:24,314 Like I can work myself into a hell 535 00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:26,516 of a metaphysical mood if I need to. 536 00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:29,419 Meanwhile, I have friends who feel so much, 537 00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:34,524 who couldn't live their lives without wine and amazing sex. 538 00:36:34,526 --> 00:36:36,293 They're miserable people. 539 00:36:36,295 --> 00:36:37,827 - They should kill themselves. 540 00:36:37,829 --> 00:36:39,663 - Yeah, except apparently not one of them 541 00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:42,265 has written anything good enough to justify-- 542 00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:44,834 - you understood me then, what i was saying a minute ago. 543 00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:46,536 You understand I'm never being glib. 544 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:47,771 - Yeah, yeah, I understood you. 545 00:36:47,773 --> 00:36:49,539 I get everything the first time. 546 00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:51,541 - Mm. 547 00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:53,543 - You don't have to play these cat and mouse games with me, 548 00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,712 I mean you can, if you want to, but you don't have to. 549 00:36:57,548 --> 00:37:00,550 - What am I up to, then? 550 00:37:00,552 --> 00:37:02,519 - Sure, I get why you're doing this. 551 00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,487 - Hm. 552 00:37:04,489 --> 00:37:07,524 - Well you've got some terminal disease and you probably 553 00:37:07,526 --> 00:37:09,559 like what you wrote 20 years ago but you don't like 554 00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:14,431 what you're writing now, and probably other people agree. 555 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,466 - Hm. 556 00:37:16,468 --> 00:37:18,468 - And so you figure if you go off and pull a foster Wallace, 557 00:37:18,470 --> 00:37:21,538 you'll be doing your good books a favor. 558 00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:25,275 And good books need all the help they can get these days, 559 00:37:25,277 --> 00:37:27,444 especially when they're competing with 560 00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:32,616 bad books like mine, you know my agent's still pushing. 561 00:37:32,618 --> 00:37:35,452 It probably will happen, too. 562 00:37:37,455 --> 00:37:40,991 Well it's too bad for everyone. 563 00:37:40,993 --> 00:37:42,792 Cause my book will take up space. 564 00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:44,361 A few thousand people will read it 565 00:37:44,363 --> 00:37:46,563 and there are 10,000 of me. 566 00:37:46,565 --> 00:37:49,366 Yeah, so, I get it. 567 00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:53,436 Good writing is not good enough anymore. 568 00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:57,374 You have to kill yourself, or someone else. 569 00:37:57,376 --> 00:38:00,543 - Are you a closet right-winger? 570 00:38:00,545 --> 00:38:02,512 - Well I wouldn't mind selling this place 571 00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:06,683 and dividing the money between myself and nine friends. 572 00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:08,551 - If I decide you're right for this, 573 00:38:08,553 --> 00:38:11,354 I don't care what you do with the property, 574 00:38:11,356 --> 00:38:15,592 but what about your politics, especially regarding women? 575 00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:19,863 - Women. 576 00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:22,399 - Yes, I know. But if I'm going to trust you 577 00:38:22,401 --> 00:38:26,970 with my afterlife, I need to know that you believe 578 00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:31,574 in the very real mental existence of women. 579 00:38:31,576 --> 00:38:34,577 - Do I look skeptical of your mental existence? 580 00:38:34,579 --> 00:38:36,579 - Uh, yeah. 581 00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:40,350 - No no no, that's bullshit, i don't have that problem. 582 00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:43,320 I don't have alienation issues. 583 00:38:43,322 --> 00:38:45,555 - Possibly that's why you describe 584 00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:47,524 your own book as not very good. 585 00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:49,626 - No, come on. 586 00:38:49,628 --> 00:38:52,395 What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not an idiot? 587 00:38:57,034 --> 00:39:00,537 - You're done, you're done, you're done. 588 00:39:03,542 --> 00:39:07,610 Oh no, not on the menu, not on the menu, absolutely not! 589 00:39:07,612 --> 00:39:10,714 No, no! 590 00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:21,558 Ah! 591 00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:27,731 Ah! 592 00:39:34,905 --> 00:39:36,539 I'm going to kill you! 593 00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:39,109 I'm gonna, I'm gonna kill you! 594 00:39:39,111 --> 00:39:43,513 I'm going to kill you! 595 00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,509 I understand. 596 00:40:12,511 --> 00:40:14,577 You had to fuck me to prove-- 597 00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:16,179 - it's no big deal, I always fuck 598 00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:18,915 a woman after I go down on her. 599 00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:24,854 What should we do now? 600 00:40:24,856 --> 00:40:30,126 - Now we watch you get off my land, you're out. 601 00:40:30,128 --> 00:40:33,563 You can't be my executor. 602 00:40:33,565 --> 00:40:35,165 - Do you have any alcohol? 603 00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:37,567 I'd really like a drink. 604 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:46,576 - It's all over the kitchen. 605 00:40:46,578 --> 00:40:49,913 Go make me a drink, you little bitch. 606 00:41:51,208 --> 00:41:53,243 You know, I know at least 10 women 607 00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:56,613 who'd call what you just did rape. 608 00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:05,154 - I'm glad you aren't one of those 10 women. 609 00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:10,994 - What are you reading right now? 610 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:17,000 - You know not much, actually. 611 00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:22,605 I find myself without a lot of Patience in my 30s. 612 00:42:22,607 --> 00:42:24,874 You know, it's weird. 613 00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:27,977 You'd think I'd have more Patience. 614 00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:35,652 - You're uglier than i first realized. 615 00:42:35,654 --> 00:42:38,221 - Yeah, well my phone and my computer have 616 00:42:38,223 --> 00:42:41,991 killed off my ability to be beautiful and read. 617 00:42:41,993 --> 00:42:44,861 I read the whole mess in my 20s. 618 00:42:46,597 --> 00:42:50,099 That was the end of reading. 619 00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:54,070 Now I just write and skim and write and skim. 620 00:42:56,707 --> 00:42:59,242 I read your novel in my 20s. 621 00:43:00,844 --> 00:43:04,247 I haven't read your poetry. 622 00:43:04,249 --> 00:43:08,618 - You should, you might learn some fucking grace. 623 00:43:08,620 --> 00:43:11,220 The three books i wrote in my 30s. 624 00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:15,858 Those are what sycophants call genius. 625 00:43:15,860 --> 00:43:17,594 One, two, three. 626 00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:23,766 Like little neutron stars. 627 00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:28,171 - So your own mind managed to impress you, yeah? 628 00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:32,041 - Not now, the light's gone out. 629 00:43:37,881 --> 00:43:41,618 But in my 30s, yes, my mind was very good. 630 00:43:42,853 --> 00:43:45,188 I felt it, then, I loved it. 631 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:55,965 It was like a set of strings, all intertwined. 632 00:43:55,967 --> 00:44:00,403 But not tangled, not tangled like necklaces. 633 00:44:00,405 --> 00:44:05,174 But like a 10 or 11 634 00:44:05,176 --> 00:44:08,177 dimensional hammered dulcimer. 635 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:16,285 Then in my 30s. 636 00:44:18,155 --> 00:44:21,124 - I'll, I'll make you a deal. 637 00:44:24,228 --> 00:44:27,063 You make me your heir and executor, 638 00:44:27,065 --> 00:44:30,433 and I'll read all your books and write a hagiography 639 00:44:30,435 --> 00:44:33,236 of you and spend my 30s telling everyone 640 00:44:33,238 --> 00:44:37,240 how beautiful a dulcimer you were. 641 00:44:37,242 --> 00:44:41,077 - You can't be my executor, you're out, I told you already. 642 00:44:41,079 --> 00:44:42,145 - Yeah? 643 00:44:44,882 --> 00:44:46,449 - Out. 644 00:44:46,451 --> 00:44:47,450 Out. 645 00:44:49,453 --> 00:44:52,722 - Let me finish my drink. 646 00:44:52,724 --> 00:44:57,293 - Yeah, you can finish your drink, that's the law, you know. 647 00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:04,200 The laws of hospitality are older than poetry even. 648 00:45:09,339 --> 00:45:10,373 Cheers. 649 00:45:17,748 --> 00:45:22,118 - So um, when could I come back? 650 00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:29,192 - Let me check my calendar. 651 00:45:38,368 --> 00:45:39,936 - I uh, 652 00:45:41,438 --> 00:45:44,440 I play the violin, you know. 653 00:45:49,179 --> 00:45:52,381 - Next week, next Thursday. 654 00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:57,754 That's the neighbor, nothing. 655 00:45:57,756 --> 00:45:59,455 - I'm not free on Thursdays. 656 00:45:59,457 --> 00:46:03,426 I wait tables, I'm a fucking plebe. 657 00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:07,764 - You're free on Thursdays if you want to come back. 658 00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:11,300 - Okay, see you next Thursday. 659 00:46:23,514 --> 00:46:26,415 - Tomfiddlery, clusterfuckery. 660 00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:34,290 Clusterfuck I'm going where, 661 00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:36,926 I don't know, I don't care. 662 00:46:39,062 --> 00:46:40,797 Clusterfuck. 663 00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:46,469 - You don't even live near other people. 664 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:49,872 - I live near you and all your junk. 665 00:46:53,243 --> 00:47:00,116 If I, I'd start over, I'd go live in Istanbul. 666 00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:04,320 Maybe paint some crazy shit. 667 00:47:06,456 --> 00:47:09,992 Isn't that awful when a writer says, 668 00:47:12,462 --> 00:47:15,131 maybe I'll take up painting? 669 00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:20,236 - You're just fucked up, Maya. 670 00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:23,472 You're behaving like a lonely person. 671 00:47:25,309 --> 00:47:28,945 You need to drop acid and make new friends. 672 00:47:28,947 --> 00:47:31,047 Why don't you go to burning man? 673 00:47:31,049 --> 00:47:33,449 - A person can live right on the bosphorus. 674 00:47:33,451 --> 00:47:36,219 It's still kind of cheap there, you know. 675 00:47:36,221 --> 00:47:40,323 With my grapes and my land and what it's worth. 676 00:47:44,228 --> 00:47:46,295 Even nicer places along the water 677 00:47:46,297 --> 00:47:49,298 on the Asian side, for decades. 678 00:47:51,468 --> 00:47:56,138 Unless Turkey blows up in civil war by the end of the year. 679 00:48:16,293 --> 00:48:19,095 - Do you miss ismail? 680 00:48:27,604 --> 00:48:29,572 What happened to your pact? 681 00:48:31,475 --> 00:48:33,175 - What pact? 682 00:48:33,177 --> 00:48:34,477 - The one where you get back 683 00:48:34,479 --> 00:48:36,512 together when he turned 60. 684 00:48:38,515 --> 00:48:40,483 - You remember that? 685 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,286 Hm. 686 00:48:43,288 --> 00:48:45,488 Pacts are for pachyderms. 687 00:49:00,304 --> 00:49:04,240 You smell pretty good for someone who 688 00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:07,643 - outdoor showers get you just as clean as indoor. 689 00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:17,019 It's okay to admit when you miss someone. 690 00:49:19,556 --> 00:49:21,590 - I don't miss ismail. 691 00:49:24,494 --> 00:49:26,562 I do miss turkish men, though. 692 00:49:29,499 --> 00:49:32,335 I'd like to meet another turkish man. 693 00:49:58,462 --> 00:50:01,197 Look, at our age one can either live 694 00:50:01,199 --> 00:50:03,532 in a healthy state of denial 695 00:50:07,537 --> 00:50:10,673 or an unhealthy state of mortality. 696 00:50:12,642 --> 00:50:17,313 I live in the mortality, and so, you know, for me, 697 00:50:17,315 --> 00:50:22,685 everything is starting to have this ghostly profundity, 698 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:29,525 exactly because nothing is, in fact, profound. 699 00:50:31,528 --> 00:50:33,729 And there are no ghosts. 700 00:50:40,337 --> 00:50:43,472 And because I have no one at all. 701 00:50:51,248 --> 00:50:55,651 The only thing that matters to me 702 00:50:55,653 --> 00:50:58,521 are the books I wrote years ago. 703 00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:02,425 That's it, that's it. 704 00:51:04,327 --> 00:51:06,529 That's all I care about. 705 00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,568 - What is this? 706 00:51:45,570 --> 00:51:48,104 - My boat. 707 00:51:48,106 --> 00:51:52,141 All this junk was here when I bought the land. 708 00:51:53,577 --> 00:51:56,545 - I like your boat very much. 709 00:52:07,557 --> 00:52:14,263 - You know there's another boy, man, whatever you all are. 710 00:52:14,265 --> 00:52:18,367 His writing is not as good as yours. 711 00:52:18,369 --> 00:52:20,636 But there is competition. 712 00:52:22,706 --> 00:52:23,739 Paul. 713 00:52:26,743 --> 00:52:29,545 He's not like you at all. 714 00:52:29,547 --> 00:52:31,547 He's not a mama's boy. 715 00:52:32,782 --> 00:52:35,484 Would you like to meet him? 716 00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:37,319 - Meet him here? 717 00:52:38,455 --> 00:52:40,523 - Yeah, at my house. 718 00:52:40,525 --> 00:52:42,458 He comes twice a week. 719 00:52:42,460 --> 00:52:43,692 - No. 720 00:52:43,694 --> 00:52:45,928 I mean, um, no, I'd prefer not. 721 00:52:47,631 --> 00:52:50,633 - That might just be too bad. 722 00:53:11,688 --> 00:53:13,822 - Are you angry at me? 723 00:53:13,824 --> 00:53:15,224 - No. 724 00:53:29,673 --> 00:53:32,975 - I'm not obsessed with my mother. 725 00:53:32,977 --> 00:53:35,744 I don't live in Texas because of my mother. 726 00:53:35,746 --> 00:53:37,680 - Oh, no? 727 00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:42,551 - No, my mother was terrible, when I was little. 728 00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:46,555 - Oh yeah, what terrible things did she do? 729 00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:50,759 - She slept with men. 730 00:53:52,796 --> 00:53:55,965 - That sounds just awful. 731 00:53:55,967 --> 00:53:57,766 - Hundreds of them. 732 00:53:57,768 --> 00:53:59,902 - Was she a prostitute? 733 00:54:01,571 --> 00:54:02,638 Was she? 734 00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,874 - No. 735 00:54:05,876 --> 00:54:10,412 - Well, I can't have a man taking over my posthumous rep 736 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:14,350 if he doesn't like mean old libidinous women. 737 00:54:14,352 --> 00:54:20,556 - My mother wasn't mean or old 738 00:54:20,558 --> 00:54:22,458 or even so libidinous. 739 00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:26,895 She just, she was a person with terrible values. 740 00:54:29,566 --> 00:54:35,471 She wanted to be a news anchor on television. 741 00:54:35,473 --> 00:54:37,373 - And? 742 00:54:37,375 --> 00:54:41,977 - And she tried and tried, and nobody gave 743 00:54:41,979 --> 00:54:45,014 her what she wanted, but they just kept 744 00:54:45,016 --> 00:54:49,752 teasing her and having sex with her. 745 00:54:51,421 --> 00:54:54,423 And they were all horrible people. 746 00:54:57,327 --> 00:55:00,996 - And now you're into poetry and porcelain. 747 00:55:04,567 --> 00:55:06,068 Poor little flower. 748 00:55:09,339 --> 00:55:11,573 I don't feel bad for you. 749 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,781 It's getting dark. 750 00:55:19,983 --> 00:55:22,017 Go back to your hotel. 751 00:55:29,893 --> 00:55:33,762 Uh, maybe not idiotic, mediocre is the word. 752 00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:41,003 His, um, soft-core dialogue he writes, 753 00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:45,474 this pseudo-red-light-district shit. 754 00:55:47,410 --> 00:55:50,612 I don't like books by men like that. 755 00:55:52,549 --> 00:55:54,883 - Yeah, well, you're missing out. 756 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:47,703 - Hello, ismail, how's the weather in my head? 757 00:56:49,005 --> 00:56:51,774 How's the weather in Byzantium? 758 00:56:53,610 --> 00:56:55,611 You old trojan rooster. 759 00:57:05,121 --> 00:57:06,622 - I don't want to hear the criticism. 760 00:57:06,624 --> 00:57:08,123 - That was luck. 761 00:57:08,125 --> 00:57:09,191 - We can just let silence continue. 762 00:57:09,193 --> 00:57:10,659 - Just read it, ansel. 763 00:57:15,632 --> 00:57:19,868 I think I've had some water in my ear for a few weeks. 764 00:57:21,938 --> 00:57:23,705 Read it to me. 765 00:57:23,707 --> 00:57:28,644 - Fell when the wax melted, fell in through 766 00:57:28,646 --> 00:57:32,481 an aneurysm in a thought of wall into a grand 767 00:57:32,483 --> 00:57:36,618 reception hall like in an 18th century hotel. 768 00:57:36,620 --> 00:57:40,556 And there stood you in schism-blue eyeflooding 769 00:57:40,558 --> 00:57:46,595 floor length gown, and all your books and things around you, 770 00:57:46,597 --> 00:57:50,065 you had given them them to wingless me, 771 00:57:51,501 --> 00:57:53,902 who wrote this note to you. 772 00:57:55,738 --> 00:57:59,141 It said, don't hurt yourself. 773 00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:02,478 I'm asking you, it said, 774 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:07,549 it said I fell in through a rip in the paper. 775 00:58:18,194 --> 00:58:22,164 - You're a sweet boy, ansel, thank you. 776 00:58:25,201 --> 00:58:28,237 One almost imagines you're the kind of reactionary 777 00:58:28,239 --> 00:58:30,606 who writes because he felt something, 778 00:58:30,608 --> 00:58:32,808 and not just because he wants to be published. 779 00:58:35,545 --> 00:58:37,613 There might be an unpublished 780 00:58:37,615 --> 00:58:39,882 novel here somewhere on the property. 781 00:58:42,285 --> 00:58:45,187 Given the corporate takeover of publishing, 782 00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:50,626 I think a Maya dardel novel's 783 00:58:50,628 --> 00:58:56,198 worth an advance of maybe $100,000 if I'm living, 784 00:58:56,200 --> 00:59:00,035 but I think a million maybe if I'm dead. 785 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:03,639 - That's not why I'm here. 786 00:59:03,641 --> 00:59:05,807 - Did I hurt your feelings again? 787 00:59:08,278 --> 00:59:10,879 Why are you here, dear boy? 788 00:59:18,288 --> 00:59:21,823 - Because it, it shouldn't be anyone else, 789 00:59:21,825 --> 00:59:23,759 if you have to do it. 790 00:59:25,628 --> 00:59:26,728 - Why? 791 00:59:29,566 --> 00:59:33,635 - Because i understand your work. 792 00:59:33,637 --> 00:59:41,276 I understand it, I can read it in its six or seven layers 793 00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:45,847 or matrices or whatever you think of them as. 794 00:59:45,849 --> 00:59:48,350 - Them? 795 00:59:48,352 --> 00:59:53,655 - The layers, the combining and harmonic themes 796 00:59:53,657 --> 00:59:57,993 and sounds and senses, and you know what I'm talking about. 797 01:00:00,063 --> 01:00:02,197 - You're making poetry sound like 798 01:00:02,199 --> 01:00:05,067 some rare form of luminous math. 799 01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,638 - Well, isn't it, kind of? 800 01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:13,008 - Maybe it is. 801 01:00:13,010 --> 01:00:18,647 You know this poem, despite that it's written to me, 802 01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:21,650 is really quite impressive. 803 01:00:21,652 --> 01:00:26,655 Um, but there are some risks in it, though, right? 804 01:00:26,657 --> 01:00:28,323 - What risks? 805 01:00:28,325 --> 01:00:32,094 - Well, schism-blue for example. 806 01:00:34,097 --> 01:00:36,898 It's interesting to imagine the shade 807 01:00:36,900 --> 01:00:39,868 of blue that is the schism shade. 808 01:00:42,705 --> 01:00:46,141 The blue of divorce, of mental breakdown, 809 01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:48,143 of civil war uniforms. 810 01:00:49,379 --> 01:00:51,847 Yeah, yes, and it's interesting 811 01:00:51,849 --> 01:00:54,249 to imagine in the other direction, 812 01:00:54,251 --> 01:00:57,653 a schism that is um, blue in quality. 813 01:00:59,789 --> 01:01:02,391 But there's a certain 814 01:01:02,393 --> 01:01:07,262 fetishism in just plunking it in the poem. 815 01:01:07,264 --> 01:01:11,299 Um, it, uh, it shows your hand a little. 816 01:01:11,301 --> 01:01:13,268 - I don't mind showing my hand. 817 01:01:13,270 --> 01:01:15,037 - Well, you should. 818 01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:16,972 - Plus it rhymes, plus it adds to the icarus 819 01:01:16,974 --> 01:01:20,275 theme so that's four uh, layers there and-- 820 01:01:20,277 --> 01:01:22,277 - yes, your poetry is layered. 821 01:01:22,279 --> 01:01:24,680 As I said, it's impressive, more impressive 822 01:01:24,682 --> 01:01:29,351 than my way of talking about it probably implies. 823 01:01:29,353 --> 01:01:32,287 But that's not the point. 824 01:01:32,289 --> 01:01:37,292 Your schism-blue is a little too obviously 825 01:01:37,294 --> 01:01:40,462 infatuated with its own layered prettiness. 826 01:01:40,464 --> 01:01:46,201 - Oh well, that only matters right now, I mean, 827 01:01:48,404 --> 01:01:55,477 when I'm dead, if people read my books, they'll, 828 01:01:55,479 --> 01:01:59,281 if people read books when I'm dead, they'll um, 829 01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:01,483 think of my schism-blue eye flooding floor 830 01:02:01,485 --> 01:02:08,890 the way they look at Joyce's smoke blue mobile eyes. 831 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:17,099 Or hart crane's rip-tooth of the sky's acetylene. 832 01:02:19,769 --> 01:02:27,275 - Sure, sure, death beautifies even the ugliest vanity. 833 01:02:27,277 --> 01:02:32,147 Ever looked at photographs of contemporary authors, 834 01:02:32,149 --> 01:02:35,350 pompous, and have you ever thought about 835 01:02:35,352 --> 01:02:38,754 how romantic they will seem in 100 years? 836 01:02:44,494 --> 01:02:49,097 We're soon to be extinct, I think. 837 01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:51,867 We're like the dodos and the aristocrats. 838 01:03:25,168 --> 01:03:27,035 So this is my surprise? 839 01:03:27,037 --> 01:03:28,904 Very impressive. 840 01:04:01,571 --> 01:04:04,139 I don't eat mushrooms from my driveway. 841 01:04:04,141 --> 01:04:06,141 - Why not? 842 01:04:06,143 --> 01:04:09,244 If I'm wrong, and there's only a 1% chance that I am, 843 01:04:09,246 --> 01:04:13,515 then um, the worst thing that'll happen is that we'll die. 844 01:04:15,051 --> 01:04:16,918 You want that. 845 01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:20,021 - Yeah, but ansel, i don't want to die in pain, 846 01:04:20,023 --> 01:04:23,325 covered with my own vomit and yours. 847 01:04:23,327 --> 01:04:25,627 - These are chanterelles. 848 01:04:27,330 --> 01:04:30,332 I'd like to make you an omelet. 849 01:04:30,334 --> 01:04:34,369 Do you have any um, any interesting cheeses? 850 01:04:38,140 --> 01:04:39,140 Hm. 851 01:04:43,546 --> 01:04:44,546 Garlic? 852 01:04:46,349 --> 01:04:49,351 - I have some strange Israeli frozen garlic. 853 01:04:49,353 --> 01:04:51,486 Um, it's really from, it's probably actually 854 01:04:51,488 --> 01:04:56,291 from China and covered with pulverized horse. 855 01:04:56,293 --> 01:04:58,894 I'm gonna put this for 30 minutes. 856 01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:05,667 If we're alive when it goes off, hurrah for us. 857 01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:40,168 Tell me more about this harlot mother. 858 01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:41,603 - Mine? 859 01:05:41,605 --> 01:05:44,506 - Yes, yours. 860 01:05:44,508 --> 01:05:48,576 Mine was a simpleton with no desires. 861 01:05:48,578 --> 01:05:54,049 I'm interested in ambitious women, even shallow ones. 862 01:05:54,051 --> 01:05:56,518 - My mother's never honest. 863 01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,720 She plays games. 864 01:05:58,722 --> 01:06:01,690 - Give me an example. 865 01:06:01,692 --> 01:06:03,558 - I don't know, she doesn't realize 866 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:05,527 she's playing mind games. 867 01:06:05,529 --> 01:06:08,229 And then I'm forced to play them with her. 868 01:06:08,231 --> 01:06:11,333 - Like you're forced to play with me? 869 01:06:11,335 --> 01:06:15,537 - No, you're very aware of the games you play. 870 01:06:15,539 --> 01:06:17,038 - Is she my age? 871 01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,341 - Slightly older. 872 01:06:19,343 --> 01:06:21,276 - How does she mindfuck you? 873 01:06:21,278 --> 01:06:22,677 Give me examples. 874 01:06:25,514 --> 01:06:28,350 - She claimed that she didn't get any sleep 875 01:06:28,352 --> 01:06:31,419 at all because she had this dream 876 01:06:31,421 --> 01:06:35,523 that she and my sister and I were all at some-- 877 01:06:35,525 --> 01:06:36,725 - you have a sister? 878 01:06:36,727 --> 01:06:38,626 - Zoe, yes. 879 01:06:38,628 --> 01:06:40,695 - Mm. 880 01:06:40,697 --> 01:06:44,532 - And in this dream that she claims that she had, 881 01:06:44,534 --> 01:06:49,304 Karl, my father's brother, knocked me over the head with 882 01:06:49,306 --> 01:06:52,540 a microphone stand and told me that my father wasn't my 883 01:06:52,542 --> 01:06:57,178 real father, but that my father was my sister's real father. 884 01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:58,546 - Zoe's older? 885 01:06:58,548 --> 01:07:00,148 - She's younger. 886 01:07:02,184 --> 01:07:06,354 Anyway she called me to tell me she dreamed that. 887 01:07:06,356 --> 01:07:08,623 - What did you say? 888 01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:16,031 - I said I don't know if I find people's dreams interesting, 889 01:07:16,033 --> 01:07:18,566 but I certainly find people's interest 890 01:07:18,568 --> 01:07:20,535 in their own dreams interesting. 891 01:07:20,537 --> 01:07:22,270 - Mm. 892 01:07:22,272 --> 01:07:24,372 Do you think you're your father's son? 893 01:07:24,374 --> 01:07:28,610 - I do, I think my mother had a bad dream and couldn't help 894 01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:34,349 but jab me with it, just to put a little needle in me. 895 01:07:34,351 --> 01:07:37,786 - Hm, maybe she wanted attention. 896 01:07:40,356 --> 01:07:42,490 - She always wants attention. 897 01:07:42,492 --> 01:07:46,127 - Were you nice to her about it? 898 01:07:49,565 --> 01:07:51,566 - I was nice, I guess. 899 01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:52,567 - Mm. 900 01:08:01,343 --> 01:08:03,111 We have 15 minutes. 901 01:08:05,614 --> 01:08:07,682 'Til the toxin takes effect. 902 01:08:09,351 --> 01:08:11,352 Do you know the first signs 903 01:08:11,354 --> 01:08:15,090 of mushroom poisoning in a pregnant woman? 904 01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:19,661 Her breasts shoot milk. 905 01:08:22,398 --> 01:08:26,568 I read this in a novel, so it must be true. 906 01:08:26,570 --> 01:08:28,536 Your body confuses the toxin 907 01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:31,573 arresting your system for a baby. 908 01:08:33,309 --> 01:08:34,576 I like that. 909 01:08:40,483 --> 01:08:43,685 Ever heard of ovarian insufficiency? 910 01:08:46,388 --> 01:08:49,257 There's material for a bad poet. 911 01:08:55,364 --> 01:08:57,332 Hm, go get the phone. 912 01:09:01,437 --> 01:09:03,371 I'd ask you to use your own 913 01:09:03,373 --> 01:09:06,474 but reception is so weak up here. 914 01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:11,713 - Who are you calling? 915 01:09:11,715 --> 01:09:13,815 - Your mother, of course. 916 01:09:13,817 --> 01:09:15,783 - What, why? 917 01:09:15,785 --> 01:09:18,386 - In these last minutes of your life, it's important 918 01:09:18,388 --> 01:09:22,524 to tell those close to you what you really think about them. 919 01:09:22,526 --> 01:09:24,259 Go ahead. 920 01:09:26,462 --> 01:09:28,630 Tell your mother what you told me, 921 01:09:28,632 --> 01:09:32,700 that she's unsophisticated and manipulative. 922 01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:38,406 You want my estate, don't you? 923 01:09:38,408 --> 01:09:40,408 - Yes, just stop asking that. 924 01:09:40,410 --> 01:09:42,777 - How much do you want it? 925 01:09:45,615 --> 01:09:47,215 - I think... 926 01:09:50,586 --> 01:09:52,787 I could live here with 927 01:09:52,789 --> 01:09:54,789 and take care of you, 928 01:09:54,791 --> 01:09:58,393 whether you were dead or alive. 929 01:09:58,395 --> 01:10:01,362 - Go ahead, take care of me. 930 01:10:01,364 --> 01:10:05,600 Show me you'll do perverse things out of loyalty to me. 931 01:10:14,577 --> 01:10:16,411 We don't have all day. 932 01:10:30,659 --> 01:10:32,427 - I made a mistake. 933 01:10:42,605 --> 01:10:43,938 I don't think she's gonna-- 934 01:10:43,940 --> 01:10:46,541 - hello? 935 01:10:46,543 --> 01:10:48,343 - Hi. 936 01:10:49,346 --> 01:10:50,945 No, it's me. 937 01:10:52,716 --> 01:10:55,416 No, I just wanted to tell you something. 938 01:10:58,855 --> 01:11:01,422 I want to tell you something. 939 01:11:01,424 --> 01:11:04,692 No. No, no, you don't have a choice. 940 01:11:04,694 --> 01:11:07,662 The city makes you pay them. 941 01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:11,032 No, I want to tell you something. 942 01:11:12,902 --> 01:11:14,936 Will you let me speak? 943 01:11:19,008 --> 01:11:21,042 You're a solipsist. 944 01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:22,644 - What? 945 01:11:22,646 --> 01:11:25,013 - A solipsist. 946 01:11:25,015 --> 01:11:30,418 You don't know anything about anybody but you. 947 01:11:30,420 --> 01:11:33,421 You don't know why people do things. 948 01:11:33,423 --> 01:11:37,625 No, you think that people either are against you or obsessed 949 01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:41,429 with you, there's, you don't really see any grayer areas. 950 01:11:42,999 --> 01:11:44,799 No, you don't know how you're perceived. 951 01:11:46,870 --> 01:11:51,439 Please, please don't cry. 952 01:11:53,642 --> 01:11:57,312 - Tell her those news anchor barbarians, 953 01:11:57,314 --> 01:11:59,447 that they used her for sex. 954 01:12:01,451 --> 01:12:04,452 And your sister's name is Zoe, right? 955 01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,656 Tell her Zoe hates her. 956 01:12:12,462 --> 01:12:14,462 Zoe hates her. 957 01:12:14,464 --> 01:12:16,631 - Zoe hates you. 958 01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:22,770 She hung up before I said that. 959 01:12:33,115 --> 01:12:35,616 - Thank you, you did well. 960 01:12:39,822 --> 01:12:41,622 Go clean your face. 961 01:13:16,892 --> 01:13:19,627 Are you really walking your rat dogs 962 01:13:19,629 --> 01:13:23,464 or did you come over here to check on me? 963 01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:29,103 - Which boy was that? 964 01:13:29,105 --> 01:13:32,039 - That's Paul. 965 01:13:32,041 --> 01:13:34,542 - Hmm, what if somebody called the cops? 966 01:13:34,544 --> 01:13:36,644 You ever thought about that? 967 01:13:36,646 --> 01:13:39,447 Someone called the cops on me a buncha times. 968 01:13:39,449 --> 01:13:40,915 - The police already called. 969 01:13:40,917 --> 01:13:42,650 - Oh, yeah? 970 01:13:42,652 --> 01:13:45,453 - Several weeks ago. 971 01:13:45,455 --> 01:13:49,090 I told them I was proud of them for listening to npr. 972 01:13:49,092 --> 01:13:55,530 Ah, this social worker cop, his name's Alfonso. 973 01:13:55,532 --> 01:13:57,832 Do you like the name Alfonso? 974 01:13:57,834 --> 01:14:02,603 Could you unsarcastically fuck a man with that name? 975 01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:06,808 - I've never sarcastically fucked anyone. 976 01:14:06,810 --> 01:14:08,776 That's your department. 977 01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:10,912 - I told him thanks for your interest in contemporary 978 01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:13,614 literature and no, I'm not a threat to myself 979 01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:17,985 but merely someone who enjoys speaking in metaphors. 980 01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:22,723 - Oh god. 981 01:14:22,725 --> 01:14:24,459 Go already, squat. 982 01:14:24,461 --> 01:14:26,461 - And I told them if they started listening 983 01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:28,463 to other interviews with writers, they would have 984 01:14:28,465 --> 01:14:33,668 to worry, we're all threats to our own person. 985 01:14:33,670 --> 01:14:37,138 You're more of a threat to others, I'd say. 986 01:14:37,140 --> 01:14:39,740 - I'm going to drop acid on Sunday. 987 01:14:44,213 --> 01:14:46,881 - This is a great idea. 988 01:14:46,883 --> 01:14:50,218 I need your help with something. 989 01:14:50,220 --> 01:14:53,721 - I'm pretty much immune to it, these days. 990 01:15:02,264 --> 01:15:06,667 - I need you to know that I'm utterly sane. 991 01:15:06,669 --> 01:15:07,802 Even if I go. 992 01:15:14,009 --> 01:15:16,043 - No, no, no. 993 01:15:25,287 --> 01:15:30,992 - Yes, dear, it's um, it's time to sail away. 994 01:15:33,929 --> 01:15:37,665 - You do, and I'll piss on your grave. 995 01:15:37,667 --> 01:15:41,669 - Well, as ansel says, I'm a cruel person. 996 01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:46,274 - You better not be. 997 01:15:46,276 --> 01:15:48,276 - However I'm perfectly sane. 998 01:15:48,278 --> 01:15:51,646 Whatever I do, I do out of pure will, okay? 999 01:15:54,883 --> 01:15:56,150 Not hysteria. 1000 01:16:53,642 --> 01:16:55,276 - What you did yesterday was-- 1001 01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:57,712 - I know, I know. 1002 01:16:59,715 --> 01:17:02,850 - Why did you make me do that? 1003 01:17:02,852 --> 01:17:04,719 - I, I don't know. 1004 01:17:07,923 --> 01:17:10,691 I get carried away by power. 1005 01:17:10,693 --> 01:17:13,260 I really like it. 1006 01:17:13,262 --> 01:17:17,298 I think maybe I haven't had enough of it. 1007 01:17:17,300 --> 01:17:22,303 People don't like a woman with too much power. 1008 01:17:22,305 --> 01:17:24,705 I'd run for president except 1009 01:17:24,707 --> 01:17:29,310 a monstrous woman isn't sympathetic. 1010 01:17:29,312 --> 01:17:34,248 Monstrous men do get elected, and I wasn't born here. 1011 01:17:37,119 --> 01:17:39,720 - You should go back to teaching. 1012 01:17:39,722 --> 01:17:42,790 - Except I don't like my power so defined, 1013 01:17:42,792 --> 01:17:47,194 institutionally circumscribed, i like raw power. 1014 01:17:58,240 --> 01:18:00,107 - That sounds like something 1015 01:18:00,109 --> 01:18:02,309 that someone very young would say. 1016 01:18:02,311 --> 01:18:05,813 - You're right, of course. 1017 01:18:05,815 --> 01:18:09,717 That's what happens, whatever I say sounds false. 1018 01:18:09,719 --> 01:18:15,322 Talking about death is a lot like dividing by zero, 1019 01:18:15,324 --> 01:18:19,860 you know, because it generates these error messages. 1020 01:18:21,196 --> 01:18:22,730 - I know, my father-- 1021 01:18:22,732 --> 01:18:24,699 - and it's not even a romantic 1022 01:18:24,701 --> 01:18:26,734 illusion about posterity, either. 1023 01:18:26,736 --> 01:18:30,004 It's a sober judgment of the very meager value 1024 01:18:30,006 --> 01:18:32,773 of my books weighed against the even 1025 01:18:32,775 --> 01:18:37,211 more obscenely meager value of my person. 1026 01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:48,723 Toughen up, ansel. 1027 01:18:48,725 --> 01:18:52,760 The things I do are merely mildly horrible and cruel. 1028 01:18:52,762 --> 01:18:56,297 I'm actually maybe fond of you. 1029 01:18:56,299 --> 01:18:58,099 And furthermore your mother's 1030 01:18:58,101 --> 01:19:00,401 probably lovely, sympathetic even. 1031 01:19:00,403 --> 01:19:03,738 You're probably dead wrong about her. 1032 01:19:03,740 --> 01:19:08,109 Everyone should hear how miserably misperceived they are. 1033 01:19:09,878 --> 01:19:11,746 Communication would be less of a clusterfuck 1034 01:19:11,748 --> 01:19:15,950 if everyone knew how much of a clusterfuck it is. 1035 01:20:04,900 --> 01:20:06,534 - Hello? 1036 01:20:06,536 --> 01:20:08,102 - Ansel? 1037 01:20:08,104 --> 01:20:09,970 - Hi. 1038 01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:11,972 - You're coming tomorrow. 1039 01:20:11,974 --> 01:20:12,973 - Yes. 1040 01:20:12,975 --> 01:20:14,341 - Good. 1041 01:20:15,844 --> 01:20:18,112 I have something for you. 1042 01:20:43,338 --> 01:20:46,540 One can look at it however many ways. 1043 01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:50,444 One's time alone. 1044 01:20:57,252 --> 01:21:01,388 A succession of isolated instances, 1045 01:21:01,390 --> 01:21:04,191 or 10 years in a row of 10. 1046 01:21:20,976 --> 01:21:22,576 One 10 year moment, 1047 01:21:25,347 --> 01:21:29,083 or 10,000 ax heads hitting wood, 1048 01:21:29,085 --> 01:21:32,152 or whetstones hitting ax heads, 1049 01:21:32,154 --> 01:21:36,557 or my heart beating half a billion times. 1050 01:21:43,031 --> 01:21:46,000 Then there's the speed of light. 1051 01:22:27,575 --> 01:22:31,445 - Fuck. 1052 01:22:33,315 --> 01:22:36,317 - Fuck. 1053 01:22:36,319 --> 01:22:37,518 - Fuck. 1054 01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:38,585 - Fuck. 1055 01:22:39,588 --> 01:22:41,288 Fuck. 1056 01:22:42,591 --> 01:22:44,658 Fuck. 1057 01:22:44,660 --> 01:22:49,596 - I'm saying, no, I'm saying that everyone is a hypocrite, 1058 01:22:49,598 --> 01:22:53,567 is, you know, especially someone who says she isn't. 1059 01:22:53,569 --> 01:22:56,370 - You can say whatever you like. 1060 01:22:56,372 --> 01:22:59,373 I won't sit here and argue with you. 1061 01:22:59,375 --> 01:23:02,009 Only uncertain people have to argue. 1062 01:23:02,011 --> 01:23:05,679 Fuck. 1063 01:23:05,681 --> 01:23:07,414 - Hello? 1064 01:23:07,416 --> 01:23:10,117 - Who the fuck is that? 1065 01:23:10,119 --> 01:23:11,185 - Uh. 1066 01:23:19,427 --> 01:23:21,729 - Let me help you out with that. 1067 01:23:23,733 --> 01:23:27,034 No, come on, you're going to hurt yourself, alright? 1068 01:23:27,036 --> 01:23:28,435 Come on. 1069 01:23:28,437 --> 01:23:31,171 Give me the ax. 1070 01:23:31,173 --> 01:23:33,207 - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1071 01:23:33,209 --> 01:23:36,777 This is homoerotic and fun, but let's do something else. 1072 01:23:38,613 --> 01:23:40,514 Let's raise the stakes. 1073 01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:42,383 On your way up here, did you notice 1074 01:23:42,385 --> 01:23:46,220 a broken green gate four gates down from mine? 1075 01:23:46,222 --> 01:23:48,122 My wacko neighbor? 1076 01:23:48,124 --> 01:23:50,424 - Is this the guy who likes to fire off his gun? 1077 01:23:50,426 --> 01:23:52,159 - Exactly. 1078 01:23:52,161 --> 01:23:55,362 Anyway she woke up one morning 1079 01:23:55,364 --> 01:23:58,132 - with an erection. - - She? 1080 01:23:58,134 --> 01:24:00,134 - And claimed the few feet of land 1081 01:24:00,136 --> 01:24:01,735 right before my gate belonged to her. 1082 01:24:01,737 --> 01:24:04,571 - This is a woman who likes to shoot her gun? 1083 01:24:04,573 --> 01:24:06,607 - Yeah, why not? 1084 01:24:06,609 --> 01:24:10,110 The second amendment should be only for women, actually. 1085 01:24:13,314 --> 01:24:17,618 Anyway, one night she chainsawed down my mailbox 1086 01:24:17,620 --> 01:24:21,355 to add to her ex-husband's hoard of junk. 1087 01:24:21,357 --> 01:24:23,424 - Did you call the cops? 1088 01:24:23,426 --> 01:24:27,428 - I was going to take her to court, but I forgot. 1089 01:24:27,430 --> 01:24:30,664 But now that you're both here with all this male aggression. 1090 01:24:30,666 --> 01:24:33,734 I'd like you to run over and get my mailbox. 1091 01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:39,239 Whoever brings the mailbox back 1092 01:24:41,109 --> 01:24:43,243 moves into first place. 1093 01:24:45,380 --> 01:24:47,281 - I don't think it's a, 1094 01:24:47,283 --> 01:24:48,615 I don't think it's a good idea. 1095 01:24:48,617 --> 01:24:50,617 Wait. 1096 01:24:50,619 --> 01:24:53,420 - I'm getting the fucking box, you go back with Maya. 1097 01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:55,422 - No, I thought that the best strategy 1098 01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:57,624 would be to have a strategy. 1099 01:24:57,626 --> 01:24:59,460 - Yeah, i have a strategy. 1100 01:24:59,462 --> 01:25:01,295 - Okay, but i think it's important to 1101 01:25:01,297 --> 01:25:04,098 not strike her as, as aggressive, you know. 1102 01:25:04,100 --> 01:25:05,632 - Okay, whatever. 1103 01:25:05,634 --> 01:25:07,568 - The ax, oh. 1104 01:25:15,643 --> 01:25:21,415 This is just really bad planning, it's just really bad. 1105 01:25:21,417 --> 01:25:24,751 I mean, we should just ask her for it. 1106 01:26:08,763 --> 01:26:09,763 Hello? 1107 01:26:22,577 --> 01:26:25,679 Excuse me, is there anybody here? 1108 01:26:26,849 --> 01:26:28,549 - FBI. 1109 01:26:28,551 --> 01:26:29,616 - Oh, god! 1110 01:26:29,618 --> 01:26:30,851 Oh, we're friends. 1111 01:26:30,853 --> 01:26:32,619 We, we're, we're neighbors. 1112 01:26:32,621 --> 01:26:34,588 - Secret service, bia. 1113 01:26:34,590 --> 01:26:36,423 There goes everything. 1114 01:26:39,261 --> 01:26:42,663 Suck my dick. 1115 01:26:45,633 --> 01:26:48,202 - Can you put the, put the gun down? 1116 01:26:48,204 --> 01:26:50,404 - State your business. 1117 01:26:50,406 --> 01:26:55,442 - I promise, I come here with, with good intentions. 1118 01:26:55,444 --> 01:26:57,644 I'm friends with Maya dardel. 1119 01:26:57,646 --> 01:26:59,279 - Oh, that bitch. 1120 01:26:59,281 --> 01:27:00,847 She drives up my road, up my ass. 1121 01:27:00,849 --> 01:27:03,417 Now I'm a very private person. 1122 01:27:03,419 --> 01:27:05,319 - But um. - I'm a people. 1123 01:27:05,321 --> 01:27:07,387 - I'm here to make peace. 1124 01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:12,326 Uh, I know about the uh, the land dispute and uh, 1125 01:27:12,328 --> 01:27:17,364 I'd like to offer you, uh, $300 for um, Maya's mailbox. 1126 01:27:17,366 --> 01:27:20,767 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow. 1127 01:27:20,769 --> 01:27:23,637 You can't buy a whole country. 1128 01:27:23,639 --> 01:27:24,671 Shit. 1129 01:27:24,673 --> 01:27:26,640 - Sure, sure. 1130 01:27:26,642 --> 01:27:28,408 - Oh, worry, Billy. 1131 01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:31,445 Right, i forgot the plan. 1132 01:27:31,447 --> 01:27:34,548 The plan, the plan, the plan, the plan. 1133 01:27:37,619 --> 01:27:38,652 Oat bran. 1134 01:27:38,654 --> 01:27:39,653 - What? 1135 01:27:39,655 --> 01:27:40,721 - Oat bran. 1136 01:27:44,459 --> 01:27:47,661 A man was sentenced to death. 1137 01:27:49,331 --> 01:27:50,931 What, what? 1138 01:27:50,933 --> 01:27:52,499 Okay. We gotta move. 1139 01:27:52,501 --> 01:27:53,700 - Move. - Okay. 1140 01:27:53,702 --> 01:27:55,302 - Move move move move. 1141 01:27:55,304 --> 01:27:56,637 - We can, we could talk this out-- 1142 01:27:56,639 --> 01:27:57,638 - go, go, go. - If you want. 1143 01:27:57,640 --> 01:27:59,373 - This way. 1144 01:27:59,375 --> 01:28:01,475 Move it, move it, move it. 1145 01:28:01,477 --> 01:28:04,778 This is the paradox of the unexpected hanging. 1146 01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:06,313 It's from the 1950s. 1147 01:28:06,315 --> 01:28:08,048 As the crocodile said himself, 1148 01:28:08,050 --> 01:28:10,884 you can't know which day you're gonna die. 1149 01:28:10,886 --> 01:28:13,887 So it can't be next Sunday. 1150 01:28:13,889 --> 01:28:15,889 - Why not? 1151 01:28:15,891 --> 01:28:17,791 - Ah, because. The judge says the hanging will 1152 01:28:17,793 --> 01:28:21,461 take place on one of the seven days of next week. 1153 01:28:21,463 --> 01:28:26,466 You will not know which day you'll be hanged. 1154 01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:29,836 You'll be hanged on a day you don't expect. 1155 01:28:29,838 --> 01:28:32,072 - Hello. 1156 01:28:32,074 --> 01:28:36,877 - But on Thursday, to the prisoner's huge fucking surprise, 1157 01:28:36,879 --> 01:28:39,746 the hangman arrives and says, 1158 01:28:39,748 --> 01:28:42,015 I'm gonna hang you in an hour. 1159 01:28:46,654 --> 01:28:47,654 - Fuck. 1160 01:28:48,890 --> 01:28:50,691 - Please, please don't kill me. 1161 01:28:50,693 --> 01:28:52,626 - Kill you? 1162 01:28:52,628 --> 01:28:53,660 - Jesus Christ. 1163 01:28:56,798 --> 01:28:58,532 Ah! 1164 01:29:14,683 --> 01:29:16,483 What? 1165 01:29:16,485 --> 01:29:21,021 I, I told you then, you chose not to hear me. 1166 01:29:21,023 --> 01:29:24,691 So I let you play a little longer. 1167 01:29:24,693 --> 01:29:26,093 - Are you serious? 1168 01:29:26,095 --> 01:29:29,463 - Mm hm, he wins, you lose. 1169 01:29:29,465 --> 01:29:33,667 You lost the first time you came up here. 1170 01:29:33,669 --> 01:29:35,669 Then what the fuck have I been doing 1171 01:29:35,671 --> 01:29:41,475 up here making this pathetic baby look bad? 1172 01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:43,677 - Ansel is a better writer than you are. 1173 01:29:43,679 --> 01:29:47,948 He's not pathetic, he's just sheltered. 1174 01:29:50,785 --> 01:29:52,786 What's so horrible about that? 1175 01:29:52,788 --> 01:29:54,521 - Are you fucking kidding me? 1176 01:29:54,523 --> 01:29:56,390 - It's never been a real competition. 1177 01:29:56,392 --> 01:29:59,092 I've been using you to see if ansel's capable. 1178 01:29:59,094 --> 01:30:01,428 I need someone who can defend 1179 01:30:01,430 --> 01:30:04,631 the posthumous Maya against your type. 1180 01:30:04,633 --> 01:30:07,567 They'll try to make me into unstable 1181 01:30:07,569 --> 01:30:10,637 or hysterical or who knows what. 1182 01:30:12,507 --> 01:30:14,141 They'll butcher my books, 1183 01:30:14,143 --> 01:30:15,842 they'll rape my dead body. 1184 01:30:15,844 --> 01:30:19,546 They'll turn me into plath. 1185 01:30:19,548 --> 01:30:20,680 - You wish. 1186 01:30:20,682 --> 01:30:21,681 - You see? 1187 01:30:21,683 --> 01:30:23,417 You see. 1188 01:30:23,419 --> 01:30:25,685 - What about the money I've spent on gas? 1189 01:30:25,687 --> 01:30:28,488 You know I skipped work again last Thursday. 1190 01:30:28,490 --> 01:30:30,657 Are you saying I get nothing? 1191 01:30:30,659 --> 01:30:32,793 - You got to fuck me, didn't you? 1192 01:30:32,795 --> 01:30:35,695 - Oh, what an honor. 1193 01:30:35,697 --> 01:30:37,731 I'm just lucky I took that initiative, you know, 1194 01:30:37,733 --> 01:30:40,200 because you would have just left me with blue balls. 1195 01:30:44,705 --> 01:30:46,706 You know, I don't even think you're even gonna 1196 01:30:46,708 --> 01:30:48,708 have the cojones to kill yourself. 1197 01:30:48,710 --> 01:30:50,544 - Take a step back, Paul. I don't like you hovering. 1198 01:30:50,546 --> 01:30:52,746 - Oh, you don't like me hovering? 1199 01:30:56,651 --> 01:30:59,453 You're never gonna kill yourself. 1200 01:30:59,455 --> 01:31:02,456 I know you, you'll rot up here for years. 1201 01:31:04,459 --> 01:31:09,596 You just, you just wanted some attention from some guy 1202 01:31:09,598 --> 01:31:14,634 who would never look at you on a city street. 1203 01:31:14,636 --> 01:31:19,706 So you hide up here like a little witch, 1204 01:31:19,708 --> 01:31:24,244 you do your make-up oh so carefully and you lure us 1205 01:31:24,246 --> 01:31:27,514 up here to lick your old pussy, because, hey, 1206 01:31:27,516 --> 01:31:30,617 I don't see any fucking hot young 24-year-olds 1207 01:31:30,619 --> 01:31:33,487 fucking up your local monopoly on womanhood. 1208 01:31:33,489 --> 01:31:35,088 Are you fucking serious? 1209 01:31:35,090 --> 01:31:37,090 - Out, you're out. 1210 01:31:37,092 --> 01:31:39,259 You don't talk to me like that in my own house, you're out! 1211 01:31:39,261 --> 01:31:40,727 - I'm not out. You're out. 1212 01:31:40,729 --> 01:31:42,162 - You're out. 1213 01:31:42,164 --> 01:31:43,497 Ansel! 1214 01:31:43,499 --> 01:31:44,898 - Get the fuck back! 1215 01:31:44,900 --> 01:31:47,000 - You're out, out! 1216 01:31:47,002 --> 01:31:48,034 Get out! 1217 01:31:50,072 --> 01:31:52,539 Out! - I'm fucking sick of you! 1218 01:31:52,541 --> 01:31:54,708 - Get off of her! 1219 01:31:57,980 --> 01:32:00,881 - Fuck, fuck! 1220 01:32:08,022 --> 01:32:09,523 You fuck-ups. 1221 01:32:11,526 --> 01:32:13,727 I'm not even violent, I, 1222 01:32:17,533 --> 01:32:21,001 you know what, you get what you deserve. 1223 01:32:23,538 --> 01:32:25,739 I don't know anyone with one ounce of testosterone 1224 01:32:25,741 --> 01:32:28,675 who wouldn't fucking defend himself from you lunatics. 1225 01:32:36,083 --> 01:32:37,684 Are you okay? 1226 01:32:37,686 --> 01:32:39,953 [Paul screams 1227 01:32:44,126 --> 01:32:46,259 I'm fucking outta here. 1228 01:32:47,962 --> 01:32:51,331 Sociopaths! 1229 01:33:59,333 --> 01:34:02,636 - You need to navigate this exactly 1230 01:34:02,638 --> 01:34:05,739 because they're not going to find a body, 1231 01:34:05,741 --> 01:34:08,775 and I don't want you having to wait seven years before-- 1232 01:34:08,777 --> 01:34:12,412 - yeah, I um, I memorized your binder system on Monday. 1233 01:34:12,414 --> 01:34:14,981 - Alright, alright, fine. 1234 01:34:14,983 --> 01:34:19,419 You'll talk about all this again with your new lawyer. 1235 01:34:19,421 --> 01:34:23,690 All mine is yours, even my lawyer. 1236 01:34:23,692 --> 01:34:24,991 - Thank you, Maya. 1237 01:34:26,060 --> 01:34:27,761 - Don't thank me. 1238 01:34:27,763 --> 01:34:31,731 He's an anarchist, and I'm a monster. 1239 01:34:31,733 --> 01:34:36,102 This may all end up being a nasty con-job. 1240 01:34:36,104 --> 01:34:38,972 I took out a giant loan on this land 1241 01:34:38,974 --> 01:34:40,974 about a year ago and put the money 1242 01:34:40,976 --> 01:34:44,744 in a little mafia boutique bank in the Cayman Islands. 1243 01:34:44,746 --> 01:34:48,081 - Yeah, I read that in the yellow binder. 1244 01:34:48,083 --> 01:34:49,949 Why did you do that? 1245 01:34:52,153 --> 01:34:53,887 - Complicated. 1246 01:34:53,889 --> 01:34:56,856 A dishonest broker, my own mistakes. 1247 01:34:59,160 --> 01:35:00,760 - Hmm. 1248 01:35:06,767 --> 01:35:08,468 What is this? 1249 01:35:08,470 --> 01:35:11,337 - I don't know, looks like junk. 1250 01:35:11,339 --> 01:35:13,339 - Maybe something that blew over here 1251 01:35:13,341 --> 01:35:16,776 in the windstorm from Nora's junk-heap. 1252 01:35:23,084 --> 01:35:28,855 - Looks like it's uh, some sort of tube 1253 01:35:28,857 --> 01:35:31,825 made out of a, made out of cloth. 1254 01:35:34,028 --> 01:35:35,361 Here. 1255 01:35:37,965 --> 01:35:39,933 Please hold it. 1256 01:35:39,935 --> 01:35:41,201 - Ech. 1257 01:35:43,037 --> 01:35:46,773 Ah, is there a plan here, what are we doing? 1258 01:35:51,779 --> 01:35:54,781 - Put your head inside. 1259 01:35:54,783 --> 01:35:56,216 - No thanks. 1260 01:35:57,318 --> 01:35:59,285 - Please, Maya. 1261 01:36:00,855 --> 01:36:02,756 Come on. 1262 01:36:02,758 --> 01:36:03,757 Come on. 1263 01:36:14,769 --> 01:36:15,769 Hi. 1264 01:36:18,773 --> 01:36:19,773 - Hi. 1265 01:36:23,544 --> 01:36:26,780 - It's like Eden in here. 1266 01:36:31,185 --> 01:36:33,386 - You don't get the money in the Cayman Islands. 1267 01:36:33,388 --> 01:36:38,558 Does that change your loyalty to me, to my work? 1268 01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:41,795 - I don't care about money. 1269 01:36:41,797 --> 01:36:42,796 - Oh, no? 1270 01:36:44,331 --> 01:36:46,266 You're not corrupt like me. 1271 01:36:49,036 --> 01:36:52,372 - No, I mean that I have enough. 1272 01:36:52,374 --> 01:36:54,340 - Enough what? 1273 01:36:56,377 --> 01:37:00,213 - Money from, from my father dying. 1274 01:37:08,589 --> 01:37:12,392 - Not enough to keep this land, though. 1275 01:37:12,394 --> 01:37:14,894 - Oh, I don't know. 1276 01:37:16,397 --> 01:37:18,398 I'll talk about it with your lawyer, 1277 01:37:18,400 --> 01:37:21,935 when you're uh, when you're gone. 1278 01:37:27,408 --> 01:37:31,978 - Oh, what a relief. 1279 01:37:32,947 --> 01:37:35,014 - What? 1280 01:37:35,016 --> 01:37:37,851 - My fucking ear just unplugged. 1281 01:38:21,395 --> 01:38:24,631 I'll be gone in 10 minutes. 1282 01:38:24,633 --> 01:38:26,599 - Really? - Uh huh. 1283 01:38:28,402 --> 01:38:31,170 - It's so early. 1284 01:38:31,172 --> 01:38:32,605 - Come. 1285 01:38:37,244 --> 01:38:39,412 - Wait a second. 1286 01:38:39,414 --> 01:38:42,115 Um, I have something for you. 1287 01:38:44,618 --> 01:38:48,087 It's uh, I wrote it 1288 01:38:48,089 --> 01:38:50,023 down for you to take. 1289 01:38:53,227 --> 01:38:55,929 - Hmm? 1290 01:38:55,931 --> 01:39:02,035 - It's a description of dinesen, of Karen blixen. 1291 01:39:02,037 --> 01:39:05,471 - Karen blixen, not my favorite. 1292 01:39:07,374 --> 01:39:10,443 - Okay, um, but this was written by 1293 01:39:10,445 --> 01:39:14,647 one of the few men who liked her that 1294 01:39:14,649 --> 01:39:21,587 managed not to fall into her entourage of slaves. 1295 01:39:24,191 --> 01:39:27,627 It's kind of just, I'm just, 1296 01:39:27,629 --> 01:39:31,631 I'm just gonna, I'm gonna read it for you. 1297 01:39:35,402 --> 01:39:39,372 She knew everything about the sublimation of loss, 1298 01:39:39,374 --> 01:39:42,508 about suffering as the nourishment of genius, 1299 01:39:42,510 --> 01:39:47,113 about pain's residence as Harmony in a work of art. 1300 01:39:47,115 --> 01:39:48,681 And all the same she yielded 1301 01:39:48,683 --> 01:39:51,617 to the most banal human moods and impulses. 1302 01:39:51,619 --> 01:39:58,157 Pettiness, impatience, caprice, stinginess. 1303 01:39:58,159 --> 01:39:59,592 She suffered from a craving 1304 01:39:59,594 --> 01:40:03,429 for power despite her generosity. 1305 01:40:03,431 --> 01:40:05,398 She toyed with human fates despite 1306 01:40:05,400 --> 01:40:07,767 her contempt for such toying. 1307 01:40:07,769 --> 01:40:11,504 She suffered from self-contempt in spite of her mighty, 1308 01:40:11,506 --> 01:40:15,108 legitimate self-confidence and pride. 1309 01:40:15,110 --> 01:40:17,210 She was a paradox, outside of any 1310 01:40:17,212 --> 01:40:22,015 moral category, and also, a bad judge. 1311 01:40:28,455 --> 01:40:32,058 - Now uh, help me load up the car. 1312 01:40:32,060 --> 01:40:34,527 I can't carry any of these. 1313 01:40:37,431 --> 01:40:40,233 It's amazing how much cosmetics and clothing 1314 01:40:40,235 --> 01:40:43,636 a woman needs just to end her own life. 1315 01:41:04,458 --> 01:41:07,360 In a window, I recognized you. 1316 01:41:10,431 --> 01:41:14,267 You must be the one I can't name. 1317 01:41:14,269 --> 01:41:17,737 The man with a faint voice. 1318 01:41:17,739 --> 01:41:19,472 Behind my voice. 1319 01:41:21,375 --> 01:41:23,643 I thought it too was mine. 1320 01:41:25,813 --> 01:41:28,648 The Cadence was borrowed. 1321 01:41:28,650 --> 01:41:31,851 Thick, muscular chords. 1322 01:41:31,853 --> 01:41:34,220 Like those in the baritone's throat 1323 01:41:34,222 --> 01:41:37,423 one day in Europe somewhere. 1324 01:41:37,425 --> 01:41:42,462 Years ago, with a friend who since died. 1325 01:41:42,464 --> 01:41:46,232 If clocks can be trusted with one's life. 1326 01:41:48,669 --> 01:41:53,439 In some temple or chapel we paid to hear a man sing. 1327 01:41:55,843 --> 01:41:58,311 I thought I recognized in the baritone 1328 01:41:58,313 --> 01:42:01,647 Sonic and temporal glass, 1329 01:42:01,649 --> 01:42:06,752 in the thickness of that, a note of my own. 1330 01:42:06,754 --> 01:42:09,455 An affinity there. 1331 01:42:09,457 --> 01:42:13,626 Where such ciphers as love and infinity's brook 1332 01:42:13,628 --> 01:42:16,662 known maudlin or essential sense, 1333 01:42:18,665 --> 01:42:20,766 but anyway somehow sing. 1334 01:42:22,536 --> 01:42:25,338 Like one sings to a child who can't touch. 1335 01:42:29,576 --> 01:42:31,677 Out there in the part of my voice 1336 01:42:31,679 --> 01:42:34,447 that remains unselfconscious. 1337 01:42:38,452 --> 01:42:41,921 I thought I saw you in the window there. 1338 01:42:45,359 --> 01:42:47,293 In that part of town. 1339 01:42:52,266 --> 01:42:54,467 I thought you would look like me. 1340 01:42:56,670 --> 01:42:59,639 But you must be an adopted son.