1 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,718 - Hello, rob. Steve -- - who's this? 2 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,521 - Steve coogan. - Hey! How are you? 3 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,556 Good, good, how are you? 4 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,724 Yeah, good. Where are you? 5 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,194 I'm in London. Just got back from filming in New York. 6 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,729 I play a chef. It's called "medium rare." 7 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,332 It's produced by Martin scorsese. Have you met him? 8 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,601 - No, I've not. - He's great. He's great. 9 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,736 Anyway they want me to do publicity 10 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,472 for the launch of the series. 11 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,507 To do a series of restaurant reviews. 12 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:51,110 Um, this time a trip to Spain 13 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,344 for "the new York times." 14 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,947 Yeah, I know. "The observer" asked me. 15 00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:56,648 Oh, right, so you know about it. Okay. 16 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,650 Well, yeah, so it's a "New York times"- "observer" thing. 17 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,419 - You know, it's a paid job. - Mm-hmm. 18 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,820 - So, uh.. - Yeah. 19 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,255 Yeah, I'm -- I'm asking you 20 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,324 if you'll -- if you'll come with me? 21 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:12,297 Yes, I will come. 22 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,966 Good, great, okay, well, my -- my people 23 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,768 will be in touch with, uh, oh, you. 24 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:29,314 Yeah, well, you know, rob's not gonna be here. 25 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,984 - Rob, Steve's here. - Okay. 26 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,719 What? No, 'cause he's got a ferry to catch. 27 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,154 Where are you? 28 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,788 Okay. 29 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,323 We'll see you when you get here then, okay? 30 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,492 - Yeah, bye-bye. Bye. - Is that all good? 31 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,128 No. That was the builder. He's running late. 32 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,429 Right, have your remembered 33 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,398 your passport, your wallet -- 34 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,233 my passport, my wallet, my phone.. 35 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,735 The book you were reading? 36 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,870 I got everything i need 37 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,641 to go out into the darkness. 38 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,509 Right, come on, daddy's going. Follow me out. 39 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,777 Dad, you forgot your hat. 40 00:02:58,779 --> 00:02:59,845 Alright bring it out then. 41 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:00,846 You can give it to him now. 42 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,947 Bring it for me. 43 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,382 And say goodbye. 44 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,251 Oh, buenos dias. 45 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,420 - Hmm. How are you doing? - Good. You know Sally? 46 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,488 - Yes, sorry, hello, Sally. - Hi, Steve. 47 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,589 - How are you? - Hi, yeah, good. 48 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,823 - How are you? Good. - Nice to see you. 49 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,192 Nice to see you. This is Charlie. 50 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,660 Oh, hello, Charlie. I don't think i know this one. 51 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:15,961 No, and this.. You remember Chloe, don't you? 52 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,696 Yes, of course. Hello, Chloe. How are you? 53 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,331 God, you were a little baby last time i saw you 54 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,599 and you've gone, shhwt! Like that. 55 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,601 That's what happens. 56 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,902 You've got a lot of stuff, haven't you? 57 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,504 Uh, well, some of this is, uh, Joe's. 58 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,472 You know, my, uh, my son. 59 00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:28,774 I remember him. 60 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,876 He's, uh, comin' out the end of the trip. 61 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,178 Yeah! Gimme a kiss. 62 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,113 - Oh, who did that noise? - You did. 63 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,583 I think you did that noise. Give me another one. 64 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,453 Charlie farley, oh. 65 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,988 - Kiss for dad. - Hello. 66 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,456 Thank you very much. 67 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,891 - Bye-bye, darling. - Bye, darling. 68 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,926 I love you. Have fun. 69 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:48,961 - Look after them. - Enjoy yourself. 70 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:50,529 You'll take care of mommy, okay? 71 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,563 - Yep, I will. - You will. 72 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,233 Won't you, Charlie? Yeah. 73 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,802 Have a good trip, and, uh, you look after him. 74 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,837 Yes, I will try and bring him back here in one piece. 75 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,639 - Yeah, please do. - Okay. Okay. 76 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,841 - Adios, amigos. - Have a good journey. 77 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,077 - Yeah. - Adios, amigos. 78 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,812 - Hasta manana. - Manchego cheese, he say goodbye. 79 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,981 - Love you, bye. Have fun. - Bye. 80 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,649 Bye! 81 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,122 Are we gonna get this ferry? 82 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:20,392 Um, well, I'd say probably yes. 83 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,827 - Alright. - But, uh.. 84 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,829 A little bit of jeopardy i think kinda gives -- 85 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,097 oh, here we go. Here we go. 86 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,131 Adds a little bit of -- 87 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,733 living your life on the edge 88 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,669 by getting to a ferry a little bit late. 89 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:34,840 I have two cabins for you. 90 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,008 Mm-hmm. 91 00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,844 One commodore cabin and one deluxe cabin. 92 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,345 Okay. Which is the best? 93 00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,947 The commodore cabin is the best. 94 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:42,948 Oh, great. 95 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,516 Mr. coogan should have that. 96 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,618 - Oh, rob. - Commodore coogan. 97 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,753 - Okay. - Thank you. 98 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,454 Is this the commodore? 99 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,889 No, that's the deluxe cabin. 100 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,291 Alright. 101 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:53,725 See you later, commodore. 102 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,127 - Okay. - Sir, that's your key. 103 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,029 - Thank you. Merci. - See you later. 104 00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,930 - Thanks. - Then I show you yours. 105 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,433 Okay. What did you say your name was? 106 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,402 - Oha. - Ohhoha? 107 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,270 - Ohaha - ohawha. 108 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,639 - No. Ohoha. - Ohoha? 109 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,074 - Yes. - Is that near enough? 110 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:10,142 Yes. 111 00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:13,045 You're right about this bein' a better way. 112 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,880 This is more romantic. 113 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,515 This is more like a journey. 114 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,684 It is. 115 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,186 You know what the first most famous boat that left here was.. 116 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,354 Most famous ship, i should say. 117 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,523 Uh, the mayflower? 118 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,757 Yes, the mayflower. 119 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,994 - Pilgrim fathers? - Yeah. 120 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,195 Pilgrim fathers for justice. 121 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:33,098 They, uh, tied themselves to that crane. 122 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,101 Demanded more breadfruit for their children. 123 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,169 Where were they headed? 124 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,470 They were headed to America. 125 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,405 Yeah? What part of America? 126 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:41,907 The coast. 127 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,177 "Santander 128 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:48,914 "much the largest city in cantabria 129 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:53,385 "with a population approaching 200,000. 130 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,355 We filmed much of "moonraker" here." 131 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,246 Good morning. 132 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,515 - Buenos dias. - Buenos dias, mi amigo. 133 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,918 - Buenos dias, mi amigo. - This is stunning. 134 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,688 This is the way to approach a new country. 135 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,056 Did you sleep well? 136 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,524 Yeah, like a -- like a -- like a baby, yeah. 137 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,159 Yeah. It's lovely, isn't it? 138 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,061 Yeah, well, it's the gentle rocking motion. 139 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,530 The thing, you either have sea legs or you don't. 140 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:42,667 Santander, the largest city in cantabria 141 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:46,004 by some margin. Population, 200,000. 142 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,540 An elegant, stylish resort 143 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,476 with excellent transportation connections. 144 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,879 You reading "lonely planet?" 145 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,480 - Just stuff i picked up -- - "rough guide?" 146 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,483 Stuff I picked up over the years. I'm -- I'm a sponge. 147 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,360 - Oh. - Bueno. 148 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:10,228 - Oh. - Fine choice. 149 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,763 - With sea salt. Nice choice. - Gracias. 150 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,231 - Thank you. - A la parilla. 151 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,766 - Muchas gracias. - Como hacia la abuela. 152 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:15,834 Like mama use to make. 153 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,302 - Ah! Encantador. - Okay. 154 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,770 Bueno. Provecho. 155 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,572 - Thank you. - Gracias. 156 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,507 - What did you say to him? - I said it's charming. 157 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:25,310 Charming that his mother made it, you know. How about yours? 158 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,945 What's happening in New York? 159 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,748 I've been seeing a lot of Misha. Remember Misha? 160 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,283 The girl you were seeing with the legs? 161 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,118 Mm-hmm, yeah. 162 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,187 - Yeah. - You seeing her again? 163 00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:36,288 - Didn't she get -- - I.. 164 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,389 I'm in love with her. 165 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,925 But she got married. 166 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:43,295 - She is married. - Oh. 167 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,396 - Um, I know, it's not ideal.. - Carry on. 168 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:45,464 - It's not ideal. - Take your time. 169 00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,065 - Give me details. - It's not ideal. 170 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,936 But we.. She just.. We just bumped into each other and, uh.. 171 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,839 And, you know, we just, you could tell it was just there. 172 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:56,241 A smile, I gave her one of my smiles and, uh -- 173 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,810 well, I mean, you don't have to say anymore. 174 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,379 One of those smiles. 175 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,948 And then, like an anchovy, she just.. 176 00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:06,051 ...wriggled into my net again. 177 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,486 - Was it exciting? - It is exciting. 178 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,487 But it's not like the first time. 179 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:09,721 It's not like i don't know her. 180 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,755 It's like, it's like we've rekindled 181 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:11,823 what we had before and it's, uh -- 182 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,426 - still exciting. - Yeah, it is. 183 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:17,562 Actually you lose excitement when you, when you're married. 184 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,564 - I'll tell you that. - Yeah. Well, you can't have everything. 185 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:20,832 - The thing is you can't have everything. - No. 186 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,634 You can't have everything. That's my mantra. 187 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:23,835 - You can't have everything. - Yeah. 188 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,704 When people complain, "no, you know.." 189 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,405 - Well, alright, make a choice. - No.. 190 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,573 I couldn't agree more, couldn't agree more. 191 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,509 - I have a young family. - Yeah? 192 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,344 For a man of my age, my kids are young. 193 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,945 Yeah. Yeah. How old's your wife? 194 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,314 Forty-three. Mm-hmm. 195 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,616 She's just got those kids in.. 196 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:38,683 Just squeezed them in quick then? 197 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,185 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 198 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,820 I'm not going the full Mick Jagger and having them at.. 199 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,889 He's having another one at 72. 200 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,957 Yeah, that's daft, innit? 201 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,726 - Ever met him? - I have. 202 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,528 - I was at a party. - Yeah? 203 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,896 - I was leaving. - Yeah. 204 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:54,099 - And I heard from the, uh, balcony. - Uh-huh. 205 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,300 "Rob, rob." 206 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,935 - Rob. - Rob. 207 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,670 Here, rob, rob. 208 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,438 Oh, look, well, he didn't, he didn't do the full but.. 209 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,173 And I looked up and he went.. 210 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,376 "Don't throw those bloody Spears at me." 211 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,744 I said "what?" 212 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,679 He was, "don't throw those bloody Spears at me." 213 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,481 Yeah. No, no. 214 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:10,949 - He was doing Michael caine. - I know, I know. 215 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,817 But what you find is that he speaks like.. 216 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,653 Sometimes it's sort of, it's sort of like that 217 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,154 so that it's actually quite posh. 218 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,823 And sometimes he's quite sort of, uh.. 219 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,825 You can see that he's quite actually, he's like that 220 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,428 a sort of public school thing going on. 221 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,230 You know, and now you got slightly deep like that. 222 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:28,300 But, um, but, uh, and, uh, you know 223 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:29,634 you got the old sort of, um.. 224 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,703 Sort of peacock thing, you know. 225 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,706 - Sorry, sorry. - Sorry. 226 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,908 He went, "don't throw those bloody Spears at me." 227 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,710 And I went, "oh, Michael caine." 228 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,312 So I looked up at him and I said 229 00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:42,981 "I've told you before if you're not gonna sing 230 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,082 "i don't wanna bloody know. 231 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,483 Now get back in the other room." 232 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,018 And he went, "aha-ha-ha." 233 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,753 And off he went. He loved it. 234 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,190 But had I had a close conversation with him 235 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,193 I would've said, "what are you doing having a child at 72?" 236 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,696 Yeah, you know what? I mean, it's not ideal. 237 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,332 Look, Charlie chaplin was knocking them out in his 80s 238 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:01,700 and that's not ideal either. 239 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,202 But we're -- we're positively footloose 240 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,304 and -- and carefree and -- and 241 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,673 we're like teenagers compared with other guys. 242 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,041 We should enjoy this moment in our lives. 243 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,843 We're at the sweet spot in our lives. 244 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,345 - Hmm, hmm.. - We really are. 245 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,981 We're like ripe, you know? 246 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,617 I am in my prime. If I was miss Jean bro.. 247 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,619 I should play miss Jean Brodie. 248 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,922 There's a lot of gender swapping going on now in big roles. 249 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,223 I could play miss Jean Brodie. 250 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,137 Oh! 251 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,109 - Thank you. - Just look at this. 252 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:48,780 You writing anything at the moment? 253 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,615 Of course, I am, yeah, what I'm trying to do 254 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:54,119 with this odyssey through Spain is do what Laurie Lee did. 255 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,153 You don't know this about me. 256 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,589 About 30 years ago, when I was 18 257 00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:59,491 I came to Spain backpacking 258 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:02,293 after a levels, before i went to university 259 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:06,564 and I met a woman called Sofia who was 37. 260 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,366 And she'd basically showed me the ropes. 261 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,801 I lost my virginity to her. 262 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,902 How many years ago? 263 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,772 Well, that's 32 years ago. 264 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,941 - So she's now 70? - Yeah, yeah. 265 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,143 - Sixty-nine, 70? - She's 70, yeah. 266 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:21,012 - Should we look her up? - No, I saw, I met her. 267 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,781 She's massive. Saw her on a Vespa. 268 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:26,351 - Successful or massive? - No, no, I mean fat. 269 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,521 I think the two of you should give it another go. 270 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,524 Why don't we visit her, take her some turkish delight? 271 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,092 I think that's the last thing she wants, to be honest. 272 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,061 It's the one thing i do know about her. 273 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,562 Anyway, I want to write a book 274 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,932 about Spain and me. 275 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,701 Is that why you bought the Laurie Lee book? 276 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,669 Yeah. Well, he wrote this when he was early 50s. 277 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,171 But it was about when he was 18. 278 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,439 So it's almost exactly the same as me. 279 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:50,942 Cervantes wrote "don quixote" when he was 50. 280 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,877 50s in many ways, i think -- 281 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,212 no, we're at the sweet spot in our life. 282 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,549 The best age. It's -- it's the sweet spot. 283 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,984 You've still got, touch wood, time -- 284 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:01,086 we're ripe, we're a ripe fruit 285 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,987 but if you hang on to the branch any longer 286 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,422 you're just gonna wither on the vine -- 287 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,691 - so what do you do then? - Drop. 288 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,226 Or do you wanna be plucked? 289 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,428 You wanna be plucked actually. 290 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,731 I'd much rather be plucked than drop. 291 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,200 But who's gonna pluck you at this age? 292 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,901 You'd be surprised. 293 00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:25,310 But after "philomena," this opened a whole new 294 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,278 sort of, uh, chapter for me in terms of, like 295 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,280 the -- the way my career's gone. All the, uh -- 296 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,882 co-wrote that, didn't you? 297 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:33,451 Yeah, yeah. Yeah -- yeah, I've always, I've always co-write. 298 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,653 I mean, I, you know, i mean, really, I'm kinda like 299 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,522 I'm the one who talks and has all the ideas 300 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:38,556 and they, the -- the other person's 301 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,825 kind of like a sort of typist. 302 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,160 Will they view it that way? 303 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,162 Oh, no, I would never say that to them personally. 304 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,731 No, but, I mean, but -- but privately.. 305 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,734 These reviews i write myself, of course. 306 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,002 Well, that's great. I mean, how you gonna do it? 307 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,238 We're in Spain, I'm gonna do it like 308 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,406 Sancho panza in "don quixote." 309 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,843 Two middle-aged men looking for adventure. 310 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,446 - That's not a bad, um -- - "don quixote." 311 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,782 - Idealist, dreamer. - Yeah. 312 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:05,717 - Head in the clouds. Yes? - Yeah. 313 00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:08,920 - And his solid, dependable friend. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 314 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:17,595 So what are you co-writing? 315 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,797 Uh, it -- it's called "missing." 316 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:22,433 It's about a man looking for his daughter and -- 317 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:26,070 this'll be the follow-up to your film about a woman looking for her son. 318 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,772 Yeah, well, exactly, it's the -- it's the -- 319 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,341 it's the sister-piece to that. 320 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,577 Um, and if I do another one, it'll be a trilogy. 321 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,346 But anyway, um, yeah, it's about the, the two of them -- 322 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,115 you should be looking for something else. 323 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:40,585 You know, the -- the, to avoid the comparisons maybe? 324 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,453 Man looking for his car. 325 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,089 But the thing is you can -- you can do a man who's lost his car. 326 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:46,558 There's -- there's lots of, oh.. 327 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,460 European filmmakers use huge overbearing 328 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,030 you know, huge thematic metaphors all the time. 329 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,531 So it could be a guy looking for his car. 330 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,500 But actually, he doesn't realize.. 331 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,035 He thinks he's looking for his car, but actually 332 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,237 he's looking for something much bigger than that. 333 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,105 A Van. 334 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,975 Yeah, well, the Van of life. 335 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:07,111 - The Van of life. - Well. 336 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,214 Can we, can we put this, can we put this up? 337 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,755 We're going? 338 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,524 We're going. 339 00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:20,959 Hey! 340 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,697 Thank you. 341 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,771 Have you ever seen rain like this? 342 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:37,408 Oh, yeah, i was in on a.. 343 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,677 I got stuck in a landslide overnight 344 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:43,514 uh, on the north, on the West Side of fulmer. 345 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,183 Stuck in a landslide, i had to stay overnight 346 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,218 in the car for eight hours. 347 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,753 I was fine, i found out later 348 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,055 I was in the wettest spot 349 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,425 in the country ever recorded in history. 350 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,661 You've told me this before. 351 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,563 Well, you, you asked and that was -- 352 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,531 no, I asked you 353 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,567 have you ever seen rain like this? 354 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,768 Obviously, if you ask a question like that 355 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:04,903 you obviously want some details. 356 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,104 If it's a story that you've told before 357 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,572 you say, "yes, do you remember 358 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,740 that time in the landslide?" 359 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,241 And I say, "oh, I remember." 360 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,403 Do you know who sang that? 361 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,973 Uh, lots of people. Dusty Springfield? 362 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:19,811 Noel Harrison is the famous one. Son of.. 363 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,379 George? 364 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,214 No. Rex Harrison. 365 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,349 - Really? - Yeah. 366 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,650 God. 367 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,286 Who sang "the rain in Spain?" 368 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,455 - "The rain in Spain?" - See.. So -- so again.. 369 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,790 - Circles within circles. - Yeah. 370 00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:50,141 It's like we sailed into Switzerland. 371 00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,285 - Hello. - Hello, hello, uh.. 372 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,487 Uh, who's that? 373 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,355 It's Jonathan, Matt's assistant. 374 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,457 This is Steve coogan for Matt, please? 375 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,793 Oh, hey, Steve. Hey, yeah. 376 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,162 Um, look, I was just gonna call you 377 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,764 actually to, uh, to let you know that 378 00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:14,632 Matt has left the agency. 379 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,434 Uh, what? 380 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,469 Yeah, he's gone to a management company. 381 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,538 Look, it -- it -- it all happened very quickly 382 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,840 and, um, well, no one wanted it 383 00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,842 to get out before it was announced. 384 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,611 Uh, it's gonna be in the "trades" today. 385 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:29,914 So I will be taking over all Matt's clients 386 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,050 who stay with the agency, okay? 387 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,284 And, Steve, I just.. 388 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,187 I wanna let you know how excited I am 389 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,022 about working with you and representing you. 390 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,747 - Yo ichacho. - Yoichacho? 391 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,981 - Ichacho. - Ichacho. 392 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:06,551 Ichacho, that's, that's, uh, El mar. 393 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,852 That's the sea. 394 00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,455 Okay, you are in holiday? 395 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,057 No, no, uh, I, i escribe, escribe.. 396 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,792 A writer, I'm a writer, escribe. 397 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,061 - Yeah, you are a writer? - Que es, que es writer en espanol? 398 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,497 - Escritor. - Escritor. Escritor. Si. Si. 399 00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:26,304 I had a, I had a movie at the oscars. 400 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,172 Uh, you know, the academy awards? 401 00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,108 - Yeah, one of my movies, yes, that's, uh.. - Okay. 402 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,876 So that was, um, muy bien. 403 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:32,910 That's fine. 404 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,927 And the winner is Steve McQueen. 405 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,296 Oh, my god, I -- I've won it. I've -- I've won it. 406 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,933 Sit down. Sit down, Steve. 407 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,468 What? Why? 408 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,737 - I'm, I'm Steve coogan. - It was Steve McQueen. 409 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,174 Oh, my god. Oh, sorry, sorry. 410 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:15,286 Hey, Greg, it's Steve. 411 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,854 Hi, Steve, how are you? 412 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,422 - Good, good. - Good, good. 413 00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,991 You're at, you're still in New York. 414 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,893 I hear very good things about the series. 415 00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:23,161 No, I'm in Spain with rob. 416 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,395 - Right. - Okay. 417 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,030 Uh, look, Greg, did you know 418 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,734 that Matt had left the us agency? 419 00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,170 Yes, yes, I did, um, yes, I did know that. 420 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,538 I was -- I was gonna call you actually. 421 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,506 Did you know about this before I did? 422 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,441 No. No, not at all, no. 423 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,277 Right. And do you know that his assistant 424 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,546 Jonathan is taking over his client list? 425 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,081 Yes. Now, you see, Jonathan, I -- I think, he's very good. 426 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,350 I think he's very bright. So, you know.. 427 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,520 Uh, what's happening with Matt's other clients? 428 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,023 Uh, well, i know that, uh 429 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,926 Ricky's, Ricky's gone with him. 430 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:57,728 And, um, uh, will ferrell. 431 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,764 Did he ask Ricky to go with him? 432 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,232 Yes. Yeah, he did. 433 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,934 But he didn't ask me. 434 00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,702 Yeah, but you see, i think you -- you -- you're seen 435 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,071 more, more as a writer, Steve. 436 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,140 I mean, so you wouldn't, you wouldn't really sort of need 437 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,642 a manager as well as an agent, so.. 438 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,010 So which clients are staying 439 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,112 with the -- with the new assistant? 440 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,981 Uh, Kevin kline. 441 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:20,885 I can't really see him going anywhere else. Um.. 442 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,421 Um, look.. Uh, Greg 443 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,555 would you do -- do me a favor please? 444 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,692 Can you find out w -- why the script 445 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:31,028 for "missing" hasn't been green-lit yet? 446 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,964 Uh, that hasn't happened. I mean, that absolutely.. 447 00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:34,765 I know, that should've happened. I will get on to that. 448 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,334 I'll get on to that straight away, that, yeah. 449 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:37,802 Thank you. 450 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:40,271 So you're in Spain with, with rob brydon? 451 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,639 Yes, I'm with rob brydon. 452 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,874 - That must be fun. - Yes, it's a lot of fun. 453 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,977 Thank you very much, goodbye. 454 00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,478 Okay, bye. 455 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,682 "Bittor arguinzoniz 456 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,185 "uses a cooking method so basic 457 00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,921 "even cavemen would recognize it 458 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,724 "and yet has become a point of pilgrimage 459 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,892 "for food nerds from around the world. 460 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,995 "Perhaps you regard yourself 461 00:21:03,997 --> 00:21:05,830 "as something of a barbecue king. 462 00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,365 "Compared to bittor 463 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,866 "you are a lightweight 464 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,168 "little better than the caveman 465 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,237 "who first cracked the flints together 466 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,438 "to get a spark 467 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,374 "because he found raw mammoth 468 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,409 a bit tough on the teeth." 469 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:21,345 So, it's, it's essentially a barbecue. 470 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,091 - The fresh cheese. - Oh. 471 00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,293 - Thank you. - Ah. 472 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,728 - And a bowl of butter. - Thank you. 473 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,530 They are homemade. 474 00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:42,433 We have buffaloes in our farmhouse 475 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:46,470 and every day to milk and Victor makes the fresh cheese. 476 00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,538 Enjoy. 477 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,040 - Thank you. Thank you. - Encantada. 478 00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:50,675 What she was saying was that 479 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,476 they have their own buffaloes. 480 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,812 - She was saying it in English. - That they get.. 481 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,447 Yeah, but when you're -- you're hearing 482 00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:59,283 I've noticed your hearing is not what it was. 483 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,451 Do you mind me saying that? 484 00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,454 Listen, stop distracting y-you and me 485 00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:06,090 from the fact that your Spanish is appalling. 486 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,125 I think what you were trying to do before was.. 487 00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:18,436 Sorry, my, my.. 488 00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:23,007 Bloody, bloody batteries. 489 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,312 Wait, wait, I can't, uh, it's -- it's, it's playin' up. 490 00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:30,314 Hang on, hang on. 491 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,349 Right. Try it again. 492 00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,684 Oh! Shit! 493 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,219 Steve, wait, wait. I can't hear a word, mate. 494 00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:36,921 It's -- it's, it's the batteries. 495 00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:40,224 Steve, Steve, i can't hear anything. Ssh! 496 00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:43,527 Steve, Steve, stop, wait. I have got to.. 497 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,730 - Very good. - Okay -- 498 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:47,465 but you still can't do this, can you? 499 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,700 No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able 500 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,369 to do the small man in a box. 501 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:55,072 Whereas, I think that your man, small man in a box is brilliant. 502 00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:58,209 It is also the apotheosis of your career. 503 00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,982 Hm. 504 00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:08,185 - Incredible. - Hm. Sum it up for me. 505 00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,988 The butter is life-affirming butter. 506 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:14,291 Life-affirming butter. L-a-b. 507 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:17,928 The buffalo? 508 00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,867 - Wow. - Wow. 509 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,281 This one is the homemade chorizo. 510 00:23:37,283 --> 00:23:40,518 We buy iberian pork meat from salamanca 511 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,088 and Victor makes the chorizo like his grandmother. 512 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,490 - Wow. - It's same chorizo. 513 00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:49,593 Just cooked or cured. 514 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:51,095 - Cooked or cured. - And.. 515 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:53,931 And one corn croquette. 516 00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,433 - Muchas gracias. - You are welcome. 517 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,067 Encantada. 518 00:23:57,069 --> 00:24:01,539 When she said he makes chorizo like his grandmother 519 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,742 is that what she looked like? 520 00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:07,445 No, rob, he means the way his grandmother used to make it. 521 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:10,314 Fine, well, I think she should be more clear. 522 00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:13,083 Because I'm picturing a grizzled old woman 523 00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:15,586 with the external appearance of chorizo. 524 00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:17,822 Well, you're the only person who is, mate. 525 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,723 - Now. - Mm. 526 00:24:22,427 --> 00:24:25,596 - Fantastic. Hm. - Hm. Wow. 527 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:28,799 Hang on, if his grandmother tasted like this.. 528 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,401 ...I'd have a nibble. 529 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:36,140 Come, come, Mr. coogan. Come come. 530 00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:39,810 You're beginning to thaw, sir, beginning to thaw. 531 00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,346 No, I will laugh at stuff if it's good. 532 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:49,687 Oh, me shoulder. 533 00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:51,155 What have you done to it? 534 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:53,457 Just getting out of bed in the morning, just pulled it. 535 00:24:53,459 --> 00:24:54,992 You can't rush out of bed. 536 00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,760 You've gotta.. You know, what I've been told to do? 537 00:24:56,762 --> 00:24:58,929 Stretch while lying down. 538 00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:00,664 - Before you get out the bed. - Good to rotate it. 539 00:25:02,734 --> 00:25:04,568 You look like a tentative Nazi. 540 00:25:07,106 --> 00:25:11,475 Uh, I think what we're doing, you know, is so wrong 541 00:25:11,477 --> 00:25:14,278 on so many levels, but that just can't stop. 542 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,881 Why are your Nazis so camp? 543 00:25:16,883 --> 00:25:20,317 - Oh, I'm a Nazi. Oh. - You tell me, fuhrer. 544 00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:22,720 Heil Hitler. 545 00:25:22,722 --> 00:25:24,355 - Was he furious? - Mm, he will be. 546 00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:31,529 Hey, we continue. 547 00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,197 Green mussels. 548 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,166 - Oh. - With carrot juice. 549 00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:39,136 - Carrot juice? - Yes. 550 00:25:39,138 --> 00:25:40,170 Bueno. 551 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,110 - Oh, no, no, Steve. - Oh! 552 00:25:46,112 --> 00:25:47,811 - Look, look. - I know. 553 00:25:47,813 --> 00:25:49,213 But what do we do? We, we.. 554 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:50,948 - You just take one. - Alright. 555 00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:56,387 Mmm. Wow. 556 00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:58,822 Well, here it is, Mr. coogan. We managed to get it out. 557 00:25:58,824 --> 00:26:03,193 Um, I mean, the good news is it's benign. 558 00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:06,230 The bad news is we found seven more of them. 559 00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:09,833 Some of them have gone into the lymph nodes. 560 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,242 Are you gonna read that book while we eat lunch 561 00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:20,511 or you just brought it as a sort of badge? 562 00:26:20,513 --> 00:26:23,847 No, I brought it because I'm.. 563 00:26:23,849 --> 00:26:26,116 Um, I'm emulating his journey. 564 00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:28,018 "As I walked out one summer morning.." 565 00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:29,053 What would your version be? 566 00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:30,955 "As I drove out one summer morning 567 00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:33,190 in my v8 Land Rover." 568 00:26:33,192 --> 00:26:35,526 - Range rover. - Range rover. Sorry, sorry. 569 00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:37,995 - That's a terrible mistake. - Yeah. 570 00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:40,230 How much have you read? 571 00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:42,132 Um, about quarter. 572 00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:43,400 - But he's very good -- - it's a big book. 573 00:26:52,077 --> 00:26:54,678 - Good lord, another one. - One sauvignon blanc. 574 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,213 Ah, yes. 575 00:26:56,215 --> 00:26:59,984 To drink with the grilled scallops. 576 00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:02,419 - Ah. - The caviar is from Iran. 577 00:27:02,421 --> 00:27:03,921 - Oh. - Enjoy. 578 00:27:03,923 --> 00:27:06,624 Estupendo. Iranian caviar. 579 00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:08,692 Please. Go first. 580 00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:11,195 No, no, no. Please. You go first. 581 00:27:11,197 --> 00:27:13,998 Well, before I do, scaramanga 582 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,634 why don't i turn them that way? 583 00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:20,371 In which case should you have interfered with my -- 584 00:27:20,373 --> 00:27:22,406 in my country, it is always traditional 585 00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:26,543 that the nearest scallop is served to the guest. 586 00:27:26,545 --> 00:27:29,880 Where I come from, it is a custom 587 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:33,684 to proffer the largest scallop 588 00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:35,319 to the guest. 589 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,388 In my country when such an offer is made 590 00:27:37,390 --> 00:27:41,158 it is traditional to turn the plate round twice.. 591 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,127 ...and replace it on the table. 592 00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:46,230 Come, come, Mr. bond. 593 00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:49,066 You enjoy the scallop just as much as I do. 594 00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:50,901 Please eat. 595 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:07,284 Bottoms up. 596 00:28:11,489 --> 00:28:13,357 Goodbye, Mr. bond. 597 00:28:15,126 --> 00:28:17,461 Mr. bond, goodbye. 598 00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:23,834 You should pay more attention to your chef. 599 00:28:23,836 --> 00:28:25,269 He's working for her majesty's government. 600 00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:39,917 Starter for ten. What is the camino de Santiago? 601 00:28:39,919 --> 00:28:41,085 - Um.. - No? 602 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:42,553 "The pilgrims' route 603 00:28:42,555 --> 00:28:46,356 "to Santiago de compostela 604 00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:48,592 "where St. James is supposed to be buried 605 00:28:48,594 --> 00:28:51,995 "became the most important destination for christians 606 00:28:51,997 --> 00:28:54,298 after Rome and Jerusalem." 607 00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:56,900 I met, I went to the ultimate pilgrimage to see the pope. 608 00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,435 I went there with "philomena" 609 00:28:58,437 --> 00:29:00,204 and introduced "philomena" to the pope. 610 00:29:00,206 --> 00:29:02,973 And we welcome "philomena" back into the conversation. 611 00:29:02,975 --> 00:29:04,408 It's been a good five to six minutes 612 00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:05,642 since he last brought it up. 613 00:29:05,644 --> 00:29:07,311 But, no, no, go on. Always nice to hear. 614 00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:09,613 - Well, I mean, you know.. - So you were there for, so what-- 615 00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:11,048 I can't, I can't pretend it's not been 616 00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,449 a significant part of my life, but there you go. 617 00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:14,184 Can't pretend it's not been a significant part 618 00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:15,819 of this bloody journey. 619 00:29:38,409 --> 00:29:39,743 This is nice, isn't it? 620 00:29:39,745 --> 00:29:41,278 - Wonderful. - Lovely. 621 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:45,015 You look like the man, the man who'd follow James Bond 622 00:29:45,017 --> 00:29:48,418 at a distance in, uh, one of the Sean Connery films. 623 00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,887 - One of the early films. - But would never say anything. 624 00:29:49,889 --> 00:29:52,089 - Yeah. Yes. - Never speak. You're mysterious. 625 00:29:52,091 --> 00:29:55,559 - Sinister figure. - Sinister figure following him. Yeah. 626 00:29:55,561 --> 00:29:59,129 Sos del Rey catolico. Now what does that mean? 627 00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:02,499 Uh, del Rey is the reign, uh, catholic reign. 628 00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:05,002 So it's the sos of the catholic king. 629 00:30:05,004 --> 00:30:08,539 Um, because that's where king ferdinand was born here. 630 00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:09,807 - Right here? - Right here. 631 00:30:09,809 --> 00:30:11,642 Well, not here, but you know, around there. 632 00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:13,310 He -- he introduced the Spanish inquisition? 633 00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:14,711 - Yes, indeed. - Are you sure about that? 634 00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:16,780 He was a catalytic converter in a way. 635 00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:19,016 - Very good. You're on fire. - Cheers. 636 00:30:20,351 --> 00:30:25,155 You'd actually make a very good inquisitor 637 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:26,824 I think, for the Spanish inquisition. 638 00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:29,193 Don't take this the wrong way. You have an inquisitive nature-- 639 00:30:29,195 --> 00:30:30,661 mind, an inquisitive mind, yeah. 640 00:30:30,663 --> 00:30:33,130 And you have a cruel side. You do have a cruel side. 641 00:30:33,132 --> 00:30:34,865 Well, it's not -- it's only a short leap, isn't it 642 00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:37,901 from -- from curiosity to, uh 643 00:30:37,903 --> 00:30:39,636 murderous intent? 644 00:30:39,638 --> 00:30:42,139 I mean, ah, it's quite a large leap. 645 00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:43,974 - It's a very large leap. - It's a big leap. 646 00:30:43,976 --> 00:30:46,343 If I was questioning you and you're on the rack 647 00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:49,346 I'd start with some simple questions like.. 648 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:51,448 I'd just say, okay, just warm meself up. 649 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:52,883 Like just give me your name, address 650 00:30:52,885 --> 00:30:53,917 tell me what you had for breakfast? 651 00:30:53,919 --> 00:30:55,219 - Rob brydon. - Yeah. 652 00:30:55,221 --> 00:30:56,320 - London. - Yeah? 653 00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:57,654 And what did you have for breakfast? 654 00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:59,756 - Scrambled eggs. - Lovely stuff, okay. 655 00:30:59,758 --> 00:31:01,358 - Uh, rob -- - is that it? Can I go now? 656 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:02,693 No, no, no. I'm gonna ask you a few more questions. 657 00:31:02,695 --> 00:31:04,061 Just, uh, just take it easy. 658 00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,696 - Um.. - Oh, I can't, it's really hurting-- 659 00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:08,966 uh, what is your favorite kind of music? 660 00:31:08,968 --> 00:31:11,335 - Bruce Springsteen. - Okay, alright, okay. 661 00:31:11,337 --> 00:31:13,337 - Is that it? - No, no, no. No, no, no. 662 00:31:13,339 --> 00:31:16,073 Um, how many baftas have you won? 663 00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:17,574 - What? - How many baftas have you won? 664 00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:19,209 I can't hear you. Ah. 665 00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:21,478 Okay, okay, just give it another notch -- 666 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,413 - aah! I got a welsh one. - How many baftas.. 667 00:31:23,415 --> 00:31:25,983 Oh, well, one welsh bafta. Thank you. 668 00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:27,551 You see, how easy that was? 669 00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:30,254 Do you see how easy it was to answer the question? 670 00:31:30,256 --> 00:31:31,889 Okay. Now. 671 00:31:31,891 --> 00:31:33,657 I've been nominated seven times for the normal ones. 672 00:31:33,659 --> 00:31:34,858 That, I didn't ask you that. 673 00:31:34,860 --> 00:31:37,094 - Notch, give another notch. - Aah! 674 00:31:37,096 --> 00:31:38,829 - Well, how tall is he? - Uh.. 675 00:31:38,831 --> 00:31:42,065 - 5 -- 5'8" and a half. - Oh. Ooh, really? 676 00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:43,500 - Yeah, yeah. - Ooh. Ooh. 677 00:31:43,502 --> 00:31:45,903 It's not bad, eh? Okay. 678 00:31:45,905 --> 00:31:48,472 Now one more question that you won't want to answer 679 00:31:48,474 --> 00:31:49,506 'cause I'm trying to get you up to 5'9". 680 00:31:49,508 --> 00:31:52,109 I'm on your side here. Okay? 681 00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:53,844 Do you wanna, do you wanna quit at 5'8"? 682 00:31:53,846 --> 00:31:55,946 - No. - 5'8" and a half or do you wanna go for the 5'9"? 683 00:31:55,948 --> 00:31:57,981 - 5'9". - He is gonna go for the 5 foot 9. 684 00:31:57,983 --> 00:31:59,816 Okay, one more question. 685 00:31:59,818 --> 00:32:01,385 - Rob? - Yeah. 686 00:32:01,387 --> 00:32:05,555 Do you believe in the lord god almighty? 687 00:32:05,557 --> 00:32:07,090 I'd rather not say. 688 00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:08,659 - Aah! - Give it another couple of notches. 689 00:32:08,661 --> 00:32:10,093 And we have 5'9". 690 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,495 - Ah, thanks! - Rob brydon, let him go. 691 00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:15,098 You leave here as a 5'9" man. Congratulations. 692 00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:17,234 Thank you, Steve. Ooh, I've hit my head. 693 00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:18,402 There you go, that's gonna be a problem 694 00:32:18,404 --> 00:32:19,803 you're gonna have to contend with now. 695 00:32:19,805 --> 00:32:21,038 You just have to let your trousers down too. 696 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,273 Ladies and gentlemen, rob brydon. 697 00:33:12,457 --> 00:33:14,624 This is the area that Terry Gilliam was in 698 00:33:14,626 --> 00:33:16,326 when he was trying to do "don quixote." 699 00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:17,995 "Lost in la mancha" is the documentary 700 00:33:17,997 --> 00:33:19,329 about his failure to do so. 701 00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:21,531 And it's a show i would like to do. 702 00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:23,100 - "Man of la mancha." - "Lost in la mancha?" 703 00:33:23,102 --> 00:33:25,535 Or "man of la mancha" is the -- the stage musical. 704 00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:28,071 It might be my next theatrical venture. 705 00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,406 - Really? - Yes. 706 00:33:29,408 --> 00:33:31,675 You get to sing "the impossible dream." 707 00:33:34,479 --> 00:33:36,780 Given that this is rioja 708 00:33:36,782 --> 00:33:39,816 I would've thought we'd see a lot more vines. 709 00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:41,351 It's of no interest to me these days, rob 710 00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:44,521 because I no longer drink alcohol. 711 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:47,024 I like wine. I like rioja. 712 00:33:50,595 --> 00:33:52,963 What's with all the dinosaur signs? 713 00:33:52,965 --> 00:33:54,564 I suppose there's lots of dinosaurs 714 00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:56,933 that used to live around here. 715 00:33:56,935 --> 00:33:58,502 I say we visit 716 00:33:58,504 --> 00:34:00,937 'cause Chloe loves dinosaurs. 717 00:34:00,939 --> 00:34:03,407 - Who's Chloe? - My daughter. 718 00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:04,674 Oh. 719 00:34:39,310 --> 00:34:42,079 I'm gonna put my boots on. 720 00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:44,815 - Putting your boots on? - Yeah, dusty. 721 00:34:44,817 --> 00:34:46,716 We're only going there. 722 00:34:51,556 --> 00:34:53,390 Love these boots. 723 00:34:53,392 --> 00:34:54,791 Those, yeah, no, they're -- they're good 724 00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,793 uh, intermediate walking shoes those. 725 00:34:56,795 --> 00:34:58,595 But, uh, you couldn't attach 726 00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,797 crampons if there was any ice. 727 00:35:00,799 --> 00:35:03,400 Well, I don't plan to go on any ice. 728 00:35:03,402 --> 00:35:06,303 No one plans for ice, rob, you've gotta be prepared -- 729 00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:07,871 hey! 730 00:35:07,873 --> 00:35:10,740 You see? That's not, not very good for scree work either. 731 00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:15,645 You just gotta be decisive about where you put your feet 732 00:35:15,647 --> 00:35:17,013 that's all. 733 00:35:19,484 --> 00:35:23,353 Do a picture of me 734 00:35:23,355 --> 00:35:24,855 with the dinosaur. 735 00:35:29,594 --> 00:35:31,995 Which one's the dinosaur? 736 00:35:33,765 --> 00:35:37,234 Okay, uh, seeing as the dinosaur's doing 737 00:35:37,236 --> 00:35:41,638 a McCartney-style thumbs up, then why don't you mimic that. 738 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,975 Hey. Rock and roll. 739 00:35:44,977 --> 00:35:49,246 I mean, Ringo, he was actually a good drummer, you know? 740 00:35:49,248 --> 00:35:51,148 What's that -- what's that dinosaur called? 741 00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:54,317 - Barney. - No, it's a t-Rex. 742 00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:57,487 It's actually not, it's a iguanodon. 743 00:35:57,489 --> 00:35:58,855 How do you know? 744 00:35:58,857 --> 00:36:00,390 Throw the phone? 745 00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:03,360 Because, um, Chloe is an expert. 746 00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:04,461 Well, tell me this 747 00:36:04,463 --> 00:36:05,896 why, uh, they changed the name 748 00:36:05,898 --> 00:36:08,532 of a brontosaurus to a brachiosaurus. 749 00:36:08,534 --> 00:36:10,000 No one's given me an -- 750 00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:13,870 the brontosaurus which would previously roam the lands -- 751 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:15,805 - who's that? - It's John hurt. 752 00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:17,741 - That's not John hurt. - Who is it then? 753 00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:20,277 Well, I don't know, but if you're gonna do John hurt, you have to, um.. 754 00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:25,215 The brach.. The brachiosaurus would once roam the land. 755 00:36:25,217 --> 00:36:27,884 The king of all he surveyed. 756 00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:29,186 That's a very good John hurt. 757 00:36:29,188 --> 00:36:32,189 King of all he surveyed. 758 00:36:32,191 --> 00:36:35,458 It's a combination of him as.. 759 00:36:35,460 --> 00:36:39,629 ...quentin crisp and caligula in "i, claudius." 760 00:36:39,631 --> 00:36:41,231 - Why are you standing -- - you can go away now, rob. 761 00:36:41,233 --> 00:36:44,534 I was thinking of killing you, but I've changed my mind. 762 00:36:46,338 --> 00:36:48,905 So does Chloe, uh, know about the different 763 00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:51,174 uh, prehistoric periods? 764 00:36:51,176 --> 00:36:52,676 Yep. 765 00:36:52,678 --> 00:36:54,477 Not, you know, she.. 766 00:36:54,479 --> 00:36:57,147 - Does she know triassic? - Like she can sit an exam but -- 767 00:36:57,149 --> 00:37:00,450 Jurassic? Cretaceous? 768 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:02,352 She knows some of those. She knows the words. 769 00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:04,688 I'm not gonna pretend that she could 770 00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:06,756 take a, give a lecture. 771 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:09,392 Of course in the.. 772 00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:11,328 In the triassic period, there's only 773 00:37:11,330 --> 00:37:14,097 the -- the world was one land mass 774 00:37:14,099 --> 00:37:15,799 just with the sea, and that was it. 775 00:37:15,801 --> 00:37:18,969 One -- one body of land and then in the Jurassic period 776 00:37:18,971 --> 00:37:21,204 split into two big lumps of land. 777 00:37:22,540 --> 00:37:25,742 And then the, finally the cretaceous, it broke up 778 00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:27,744 into the continents that we know today. 779 00:37:33,317 --> 00:37:35,085 Look at that. 780 00:37:35,087 --> 00:37:36,786 They're the actual footprints. 781 00:37:36,788 --> 00:37:38,521 Quite big, aren't they? 782 00:37:38,523 --> 00:37:40,657 What size are your feet? 783 00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:41,891 Seven. 784 00:37:43,227 --> 00:37:44,761 - Really? - Yeah. 785 00:37:46,664 --> 00:37:47,897 Go on then, off you go. 786 00:37:47,899 --> 00:37:49,499 No, it's just that, that is quite -- 787 00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:51,001 - they're too small. - Quite feminine. 788 00:37:51,003 --> 00:37:52,636 They are feminine, i know. 789 00:37:52,638 --> 00:37:54,537 - I'm not gonna -- - small feet. 790 00:37:54,539 --> 00:37:56,873 Nice on a woman, a bit weird on a bloke. 791 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,209 - Indeed. - Yeah. 792 00:37:59,211 --> 00:38:01,878 If I could change one thing about me 793 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,580 well, it wouldn't be the feet, but I would 794 00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:05,515 I would, I would get to the feet quite soon. 795 00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:07,017 It'd be feet, height and hair, wouldn't it? 796 00:38:07,019 --> 00:38:10,020 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 797 00:38:23,901 --> 00:38:26,303 - Ah! - Oh! 798 00:38:26,305 --> 00:38:29,439 Pimientos del cristal asados a la Lena. 799 00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:31,574 - Gracias. - Muchos gracias. 800 00:38:31,576 --> 00:38:32,709 Muchos, muchos gracias. 801 00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:34,177 Un poquito mas de vino le pongo. 802 00:38:36,881 --> 00:38:38,782 Well? 803 00:38:38,784 --> 00:38:40,784 - No, thank you. - Vale. 804 00:38:42,420 --> 00:38:44,821 - What was he asking? - If you wanted some more wine. 805 00:38:52,363 --> 00:38:53,897 Mm. Mm! 806 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:55,632 Terrible year in many ways. 807 00:38:55,634 --> 00:38:58,435 If you think about the number of the people who've died. 808 00:38:58,437 --> 00:39:00,937 - I mean, gifted people. - Yeah. 809 00:39:02,206 --> 00:39:03,506 David bowie's death was like.. 810 00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:05,008 What did Tony visconti say? 811 00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:07,110 "It was a -- it was an artistic act, his death." 812 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,912 Yeah. Well, it was -- it was remarkable. 813 00:39:08,914 --> 00:39:10,780 No funeral. He literally just went poof. 814 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:12,882 Had a song called "Lazarus" on his -- on his last record. 815 00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:15,051 Yeah, it was wonderful. It was actually brilliant. 816 00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:16,653 Yeah, it was. It was admirable. 817 00:39:16,655 --> 00:39:18,421 I told you about the time he was on the radio 818 00:39:18,423 --> 00:39:22,392 and, uh, he wanted to mention me but couldn't remember my name. 819 00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:24,861 - Really? - Mm. 820 00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:25,929 He was being interviewed 821 00:39:25,931 --> 00:39:28,164 and, uh, the interviewer said 822 00:39:28,166 --> 00:39:31,034 "wha -- what'd you do when you're, um.. 823 00:39:31,036 --> 00:39:33,103 ...on tour on the bus?" 824 00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:35,605 And he said he watched "cruise of the gods," that we did. 825 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:38,875 And he said, "you know the one, it stars that guy." 826 00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,543 - Really? - And he said, "who?" Yeah, he said, "who?" 827 00:39:40,545 --> 00:39:43,313 And I was in the kitchen, like, "oh, my god!" 828 00:39:43,315 --> 00:39:44,581 "He's about to mention me. David bowie." 829 00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:46,116 - Sure he didn't mean me? - No, no, no. 830 00:39:46,118 --> 00:39:48,852 Because he said, "you know, the one from "Marion and Geoff."" 831 00:39:48,854 --> 00:39:51,354 - Really? He said "Marion and Geoff?" - Yes, yes. 832 00:39:51,356 --> 00:39:53,256 Yeah, and i -- I was going, "it's me, it's me." 833 00:39:53,258 --> 00:39:54,491 And the interviewer was going 834 00:39:54,493 --> 00:39:57,093 "no, I -- I don't know, i don't know." 835 00:39:57,095 --> 00:39:58,628 So he never said my name 836 00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:01,931 but he was thinking of my face at that moment. 837 00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:05,135 And when he died, i looked at his Twitter feed 838 00:40:05,137 --> 00:40:06,302 and you know what, Steve? 839 00:40:06,304 --> 00:40:10,306 - He followed me on Twitter. - Really? 840 00:40:10,308 --> 00:40:12,342 You don't know what to do with that information, do you? 841 00:40:12,344 --> 00:40:14,144 Well, no disrespect to you 842 00:40:14,146 --> 00:40:17,113 but he's just ever, ever so slightly 843 00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:19,883 I mean, microscopically diminished 844 00:40:19,885 --> 00:40:21,618 in my mind. 845 00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:24,120 Just think and I know you won't like this. 846 00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:26,189 There would've been a time when he sat there 847 00:40:26,191 --> 00:40:28,658 with his phone and went.. 848 00:40:57,255 --> 00:40:59,255 And he would've pressed on that button and clicked 849 00:40:59,257 --> 00:41:02,358 and followed me and seen every tweet. 850 00:41:21,712 --> 00:41:23,379 Hm. 851 00:41:23,381 --> 00:41:26,249 Now as you know, this was a moors castle. 852 00:41:26,251 --> 00:41:28,485 And when it was conquered by the Christian 853 00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:30,787 it became the -- the official residence 854 00:41:30,789 --> 00:41:32,489 of the siguenzas bishop. 855 00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:34,724 - Please, after you. - Thank you. 856 00:41:34,726 --> 00:41:36,459 You're welcome. 857 00:41:36,461 --> 00:41:39,295 And during the civil war, the town was bombarded 858 00:41:39,297 --> 00:41:41,764 by the condor legion 859 00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:43,666 and the castle was hit. 860 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:47,136 - Like como en guernica? - Yeah, like guernica. 861 00:41:47,138 --> 00:41:49,606 Um, the last resistance of the town 862 00:41:49,608 --> 00:41:51,574 took place in the cathedral 863 00:41:51,576 --> 00:41:53,009 and it was bombarded too. 864 00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:54,511 And they surrender because 865 00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:56,980 they didn't have any more ammunition or -- 866 00:41:56,982 --> 00:41:58,548 yes, of course, wow. 867 00:41:58,550 --> 00:42:00,016 The final attack. 868 00:42:01,752 --> 00:42:03,620 Over there, we have, uh 869 00:42:03,622 --> 00:42:07,490 a room that was a setting for a Marlon Brando's movie 870 00:42:07,492 --> 00:42:10,026 in the early '90s. 871 00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:13,062 He played the role of, uh, friar torquemada. 872 00:42:13,064 --> 00:42:14,864 He was the grand inquisitor of -- 873 00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:16,699 of course, the Spanish inquisition. 874 00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:19,769 - Yeah. - "Nobody expects that!" 875 00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:23,439 Mi amigo le gusta monty python. 876 00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:26,109 - I love them too. - Oh, yeah? Wow! 877 00:42:26,111 --> 00:42:27,544 - Please, after you. - To the left. 878 00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:29,178 Yes, of course. 879 00:42:29,180 --> 00:42:31,814 - This is Jonathan. - Hey, Jonathan. 880 00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:34,384 - Steve coogan. - Steve? 881 00:42:34,386 --> 00:42:37,220 - Hey, how are you, man? - Good. How are you? 882 00:42:37,222 --> 00:42:40,723 Yeah, I'm great. So listen, I spoke to the studio. 883 00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:43,159 - Mm-hmm. - And, they like the script. 884 00:42:43,161 --> 00:42:45,295 They're totally on board for this film. 885 00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:47,063 - Fantastic, great. - Yeah. 886 00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:48,097 What's the catch? 887 00:42:48,099 --> 00:42:50,967 Yeah, uh.. 888 00:42:50,969 --> 00:42:52,602 They wanna bring a new writer on. 889 00:42:52,604 --> 00:42:54,571 - What? - Well, it's for a Polish. 890 00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:56,239 It's just for a Polish. It's.. 891 00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:57,707 Hey, how are we doing? 892 00:42:57,709 --> 00:43:00,810 - Hello, how are you? - Yeah, really good. 893 00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:03,746 Ah. Oh, where'd you get that? 894 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:04,948 I found it here. 895 00:43:04,950 --> 00:43:06,182 I thought you'd lost that. 896 00:43:06,184 --> 00:43:07,450 Thought I'd hidden it. 897 00:43:07,452 --> 00:43:10,587 - Who? - Ed hirsch. 898 00:43:10,589 --> 00:43:13,056 I don't.. Who's he? Never heard of him. What's he done? 899 00:43:13,058 --> 00:43:15,925 He's written a few scripts that have really just gotten a lotta heat. 900 00:43:15,927 --> 00:43:17,760 Look over here! Charlie! 901 00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:19,329 I'm here, look! 902 00:43:19,331 --> 00:43:21,364 Look at the little fella down.. There, hello. 903 00:43:21,366 --> 00:43:24,434 He's new, he's hot, he's up-and-coming. 904 00:43:24,436 --> 00:43:28,371 Which, uh, do you.. I've got -- I've got two Oscar nominations. 905 00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:31,007 I'm -- I'm -- I'm new and I'm not up-and-coming. 906 00:43:31,009 --> 00:43:33,176 I've -- I've arrived. 907 00:43:39,049 --> 00:43:40,416 Ah.. 908 00:43:41,585 --> 00:43:42,619 Good evening. 909 00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:45,855 - Good evening. - Buenos tardes. 910 00:43:45,857 --> 00:43:48,091 Isn't it a magnificent room? 911 00:43:48,093 --> 00:43:49,892 It's the Brando room. 912 00:43:49,894 --> 00:43:52,929 I just watched a little clip on YouTube of him. 913 00:43:52,931 --> 00:43:56,966 But you can't really work out exactly where they are. 914 00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:59,535 He's very overweight at that stage. 915 00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:02,672 Yeah, which is fine for, uh, torquemada. 916 00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:05,041 Gives him presence. 917 00:44:05,043 --> 00:44:07,410 I was playing torquemada 918 00:44:07,412 --> 00:44:10,079 in the Spanish inquisition. 919 00:44:10,081 --> 00:44:13,383 Nobody expects Spanish inquisition. 920 00:44:13,385 --> 00:44:14,417 Nobody does. 921 00:44:14,419 --> 00:44:16,052 Amongst all weaponry 922 00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:17,487 are such diverse elements 923 00:44:17,489 --> 00:44:19,656 as fear, surprise, a ruthless efficiency 924 00:44:19,658 --> 00:44:21,991 and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope 925 00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:24,127 and that's with uniforms. 926 00:44:24,129 --> 00:44:27,597 Nobody expects a Spanish inquisition. 927 00:44:27,599 --> 00:44:30,400 Amongst all weaponry and fear 928 00:44:30,402 --> 00:44:33,736 surprise, a ruthless efficiency 929 00:44:33,738 --> 00:44:36,606 and an almost fanatical devotion -- 930 00:44:36,608 --> 00:44:38,675 - you're doing him in "the godfather." - What? 931 00:44:38,677 --> 00:44:41,144 - You're just doing -- - I was doing '70s Brando. 932 00:44:41,146 --> 00:44:43,479 Well, he spoke like this, kinda nasal. 933 00:44:43,481 --> 00:44:46,816 You know what, his voice was a little higher the way he spoke. 934 00:44:46,818 --> 00:44:49,452 It was, you know 935 00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:51,220 it was like that, you know -- 936 00:44:51,222 --> 00:44:53,723 you've got a de niro thing going. You're doing your de niro. 937 00:44:53,725 --> 00:44:56,592 If I, if I was doing de niro, I'd do it like that, you know? 938 00:44:56,594 --> 00:44:59,529 That's the way, that's the way de niro spoke, you know? 939 00:44:59,531 --> 00:45:01,364 Let's do something about that, you know. 940 00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:02,465 That's right, you know what I'm gonna do? 941 00:45:02,467 --> 00:45:03,566 I'm gonna rip your head off, shit down 942 00:45:03,568 --> 00:45:04,801 your goddamn fuckin' neck 943 00:45:04,803 --> 00:45:06,936 you two-bit dick suckin' motherfuckin' asshole. 944 00:45:06,938 --> 00:45:08,805 - That's terrific. That's terrific. - Yeah. 945 00:45:08,807 --> 00:45:11,007 The reason you think I'm doing de niro when I'm doing Brando 946 00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:14,010 is because de niro himself was influenced by Brando. 947 00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:16,646 So, when de niro acts 948 00:45:16,648 --> 00:45:20,850 you see a residual element of Brando in what he does. 949 00:45:20,852 --> 00:45:21,951 So, you've got it the wrong way round. 950 00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:24,420 So in attempting to criticize you 951 00:45:24,422 --> 00:45:25,988 I've inadvertently complimented you. 952 00:45:25,990 --> 00:45:27,857 You've shown up some of the detail in Brando -- 953 00:45:27,859 --> 00:45:31,461 you certainly came out on top in this exchange then. 954 00:45:31,463 --> 00:45:34,530 I am only telling you the truth. 955 00:45:34,532 --> 00:45:37,467 Nobody expects a Spanish inquisition 956 00:45:37,469 --> 00:45:40,269 and nobody expects a comfy chair. 957 00:45:40,271 --> 00:45:42,538 No, he's gotta do the, get.. 958 00:45:44,808 --> 00:45:46,676 ...the comfy chair. 959 00:45:46,678 --> 00:45:49,879 Get the comfy chair. 960 00:45:52,349 --> 00:45:54,317 I'm like a turtle, look at me. 961 00:45:55,986 --> 00:45:57,720 Get the comfy chair. 962 00:45:57,722 --> 00:46:00,690 Get the comfy chair and a piece of lettuce. 963 00:46:00,692 --> 00:46:02,158 I'm gettin' hungry. 964 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,761 Amongst our weaponry is.. 965 00:46:04,763 --> 00:46:07,063 Such diverse elements the.. 966 00:46:07,065 --> 00:46:08,564 - Woody Allen. Yeah. - I know, Woody Allen. 967 00:46:08,566 --> 00:46:10,733 Amongst our weaponry 968 00:46:10,735 --> 00:46:14,871 is such diverse elements as fear. 969 00:46:14,873 --> 00:46:19,375 Uh, surprise, an -- an almost fanatical devotion 970 00:46:19,377 --> 00:46:20,943 to the Yankees. 971 00:46:21,578 --> 00:46:22,879 Ehh. 972 00:46:36,093 --> 00:46:37,827 Do you wish to confess? 973 00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:40,663 No. 974 00:46:42,599 --> 00:46:46,068 You know all Jews were told to leave the country 975 00:46:46,070 --> 00:46:48,771 by order of the catholic king and queen. 976 00:46:48,773 --> 00:46:52,175 Yes, but, mm, I'm not a Jew. 977 00:46:52,177 --> 00:46:55,745 My lord, I'm -- I'm a catholic, Roman catholic, sir. 978 00:46:55,747 --> 00:46:59,182 If you're catholic, then you must respect my authority. 979 00:46:59,184 --> 00:47:01,017 My authority comes from the pope. 980 00:47:01,019 --> 00:47:03,219 I've met the pope. 981 00:47:03,221 --> 00:47:04,620 My lord, I met the pope. 982 00:47:04,622 --> 00:47:07,690 I met his holiness at the Vatican 983 00:47:07,692 --> 00:47:10,660 and he saw a film I made. 984 00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,628 - You're lying. - I'm telling the truth, my lord. 985 00:47:12,630 --> 00:47:14,330 I -- I, he didn't, he didn't see the film 986 00:47:14,332 --> 00:47:18,034 but his advisers did, and they gave him a breakdown of the film 987 00:47:18,036 --> 00:47:20,236 and he approved it. 988 00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:22,471 You're a, you're a heretic. 989 00:47:22,473 --> 00:47:25,608 My lord, I am not a heretic, I am not Jewish, i am not Muslim. 990 00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:27,510 I am a Roman catholic, i -- I promise you. 991 00:47:27,512 --> 00:47:29,545 I don't know "the quran," i hardly know the old testament. 992 00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:32,081 I, I was an altar boy, um -- 993 00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:33,683 shh. 994 00:47:35,319 --> 00:47:37,453 Do you respect my authority? 995 00:47:39,223 --> 00:47:43,326 - Well, uh.. - Do you respect my authority? 996 00:47:43,328 --> 00:47:46,095 - Why -- why are you mumbling? - I'm what? 997 00:47:47,097 --> 00:47:48,264 What did you say? 998 00:47:48,266 --> 00:47:50,833 You're not enunciating, anuncio. 999 00:47:50,835 --> 00:47:53,135 I'm sorry, Esteban. 1000 00:47:53,137 --> 00:47:56,105 Do you respect my authority? 1001 00:47:58,442 --> 00:48:00,276 Yes, I, yes, i respect your authority. 1002 00:48:00,278 --> 00:48:02,445 Take him away. 1003 00:48:02,447 --> 00:48:03,713 What does that mean? What does that mean? 1004 00:48:03,715 --> 00:48:05,348 What's going to happen now? 1005 00:48:05,350 --> 00:48:07,516 I'm not.. I've not done anything. I haven't.. 1006 00:48:07,518 --> 00:48:09,418 Why, why are they taking me backwards? 1007 00:48:09,420 --> 00:48:10,820 I have not done anything. 1008 00:48:10,822 --> 00:48:12,955 I'm, I'm catholic. 1009 00:48:21,900 --> 00:48:24,100 Hey, guess where I'm taking Joe 1010 00:48:24,102 --> 00:48:26,402 uh, at the end of this week? 1011 00:48:28,005 --> 00:48:30,206 There, look. 1012 00:48:30,208 --> 00:48:33,109 - Zip wire. - Yeah, longest one in Spain. 1013 00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:34,277 - Have you done this already? - Oh, yeah. 1014 00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:36,445 I've done about five in the uk 1015 00:48:36,447 --> 00:48:38,514 couple in Europe. 1016 00:48:38,516 --> 00:48:41,317 Word of warning. What's the age limit on this? 1017 00:48:41,319 --> 00:48:42,985 There's no age limit. As long as you're fit. 1018 00:48:42,987 --> 00:48:45,187 Uh, there's a height restriction. 1019 00:48:45,189 --> 00:48:47,256 Well, we were in Italy last year 1020 00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,058 and there was whitewater rafting. 1021 00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:50,326 Yeah. 1022 00:48:50,328 --> 00:48:52,895 So I thought I'd check out 1023 00:48:52,897 --> 00:48:54,463 you know, the age. 1024 00:48:55,632 --> 00:48:59,135 Eight to fifty-five. 1025 00:48:59,137 --> 00:49:00,970 - So by the time Charlie's old enough to do it-- - what? 1026 00:49:00,972 --> 00:49:02,605 - That's ridiculous. - I'll be too old. 1027 00:49:02,607 --> 00:49:04,407 - I know. - Fifty-five? 1028 00:49:04,409 --> 00:49:07,843 - That's ridiculous. - Why can you not whitewater raft at 55? 1029 00:49:07,845 --> 00:49:10,179 I might get some fake ID or something like that. 1030 00:49:10,181 --> 00:49:12,715 Yeah, you'll have to get a fake ID like a teenager. 1031 00:49:12,717 --> 00:49:16,118 Uh, John Jones, born in 1970. 1032 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,054 I'm -- I'm a carpenter from wrexham. 1033 00:49:18,056 --> 00:49:19,922 - You say you're a carpenter? - That's right. 1034 00:49:19,924 --> 00:49:21,991 Simple question. 1035 00:49:21,993 --> 00:49:25,127 You're building a bog standard 1036 00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:28,097 uh, tongue and groove, glue and peg 1037 00:49:28,099 --> 00:49:29,498 wooden bench for outside. 1038 00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:31,033 What kind of wood do you choose 1039 00:49:31,035 --> 00:49:33,836 if you want it to weather into a nice silvery patina? 1040 00:49:33,838 --> 00:49:36,105 Ash, beech, teak? 1041 00:49:37,140 --> 00:49:39,709 Simple question. 1042 00:49:39,711 --> 00:49:40,843 Better hurry, there's other people 1043 00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:42,979 who wanna get on this whitewater raft. 1044 00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:46,315 Um, could you tell me the woods again? 1045 00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:47,817 Ash, teak, beech. 1046 00:49:47,819 --> 00:49:49,385 - Ash, teak, beech? - Hm. 1047 00:49:51,154 --> 00:49:52,655 Beech? 1048 00:49:52,657 --> 00:49:54,523 Na, mate. It's teak. 1049 00:49:54,525 --> 00:49:57,226 Any carpenter worth his salt will tell you that. 1050 00:49:57,228 --> 00:49:58,728 - Don't cry, Charlie. - You're not.. 1051 00:49:58,730 --> 00:50:00,396 - You're not a carpenter, mate. - Please, let us go on. 1052 00:50:00,398 --> 00:50:01,731 It's the only chance I've got to -- 1053 00:50:01,733 --> 00:50:04,100 on your way. 1054 00:50:04,102 --> 00:50:06,002 Don't cry, Charlie, don't cry. 1055 00:50:06,004 --> 00:50:07,770 Maybe mommy can take you. 1056 00:50:07,772 --> 00:50:09,205 Look at the boy, he's crying. 1057 00:50:09,207 --> 00:50:10,873 Oh, how old, how old are ya? 1058 00:50:10,875 --> 00:50:12,541 - What? - How old are you? 1059 00:50:12,543 --> 00:50:14,343 I'm 56. 1060 00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:16,545 Oh, for Christ's sake, go on, on you.. Get on. 1061 00:50:16,547 --> 00:50:18,280 Thanks a lot. Oh! 1062 00:50:18,282 --> 00:50:20,082 Oh, I got shooting pains down my arm. 1063 00:50:20,084 --> 00:50:23,152 Don't tell me that. I've just broken the rules for you, nob. 1064 00:50:23,154 --> 00:50:26,155 Give me a minute. I've gone light-headed. 1065 00:50:26,157 --> 00:50:27,490 Alright, thank you. 1066 00:50:27,492 --> 00:50:29,992 Come on, Charlie. Not so fast, son. 1067 00:50:32,229 --> 00:50:35,398 Oh, you know, um, walking downhill 1068 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,233 very good if you engage your abs. 1069 00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:38,434 Yeah, of course. 1070 00:50:38,436 --> 00:50:41,203 Um, and, if you engage your abdominals 1071 00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:43,873 it takes the pressure off your knees. 1072 00:50:43,875 --> 00:50:45,341 Who told you that? 1073 00:50:45,343 --> 00:50:47,877 It's just, you can feel it anatomically. 1074 00:50:47,879 --> 00:50:49,178 I figured it out. 1075 00:50:49,180 --> 00:50:50,746 Hardly stand up to a focus group, would it? 1076 00:50:50,748 --> 00:50:52,248 Well, you wouldn't show it to a focus group -- 1077 00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:54,116 clinical trials. It wouldn't stand up to clinical trials. 1078 00:50:54,118 --> 00:50:55,451 Exactly. Wouldn't show it to a focus -- 1079 00:50:55,453 --> 00:50:57,286 clinical trial, that's why i said clinical trials. 1080 00:50:57,288 --> 00:50:59,355 Okay, yeah. You don't need clinical trial. It's just.. 1081 00:50:59,357 --> 00:51:01,524 If you, if you listen to your body, you can figure it out. 1082 00:51:01,526 --> 00:51:03,159 It's just like a shock absorber, so the knee 1083 00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:05,261 doesn't have to take all the -- all the impact. 1084 00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:08,197 Wow. 1085 00:51:11,803 --> 00:51:12,935 Big. 1086 00:51:12,937 --> 00:51:14,537 Bigger than it looks from outside. 1087 00:51:14,539 --> 00:51:16,705 Hey, take your hats off in church. 1088 00:51:18,875 --> 00:51:20,376 Frowned upon. 1089 00:51:21,611 --> 00:51:24,513 I'm trying to find out where the bomb damage is. 1090 00:51:24,515 --> 00:51:26,615 From, uh, you know.. 1091 00:51:26,617 --> 00:51:28,617 ...from when Franco and the Nazis.. 1092 00:51:28,619 --> 00:51:31,487 Exhibition there with cervantes and Shakespeare. 1093 00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:32,988 There, look! 1094 00:51:32,990 --> 00:51:34,990 Why would they have the two of them in one exhibition? 1095 00:51:34,992 --> 00:51:37,526 They both died in the same year. 1096 00:51:37,528 --> 00:51:40,262 It seems they've done a very good repair job. 1097 00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:41,864 I can't see any damage. 1098 00:51:41,866 --> 00:51:45,434 Or maybe it wasn't this part of it that got damaged. 1099 00:51:45,436 --> 00:51:48,737 The -- the workmanship of this is a, is a testament to 1100 00:51:48,739 --> 00:51:51,407 to all the workers who helped construct it 1101 00:51:51,409 --> 00:51:53,209 and yet Franco, very happy 1102 00:51:53,211 --> 00:51:55,644 despite claiming to be a catholic to bomb 1103 00:51:55,646 --> 00:51:58,080 the shit out of a religious building 1104 00:51:58,082 --> 00:52:02,184 which just shows you what kind of a vandal he was. 1105 00:52:02,186 --> 00:52:04,887 We're having flooring just like this in the kitchen. 1106 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:10,059 - Partner's there. - Yeah. 1107 00:52:10,061 --> 00:52:13,062 Buried, lying next to each other.. 1108 00:52:13,064 --> 00:52:14,563 ...for eternity. 1109 00:52:27,611 --> 00:52:33,349 "First collected edition of Shakespeare's works. 1623." 1110 00:52:33,351 --> 00:52:36,519 So in the '60s, seven years after he's dead 1111 00:52:36,521 --> 00:52:38,554 already they realized what they'd lost. 1112 00:52:43,627 --> 00:52:45,394 Rob. Rob! 1113 00:52:45,396 --> 00:52:47,696 "Electronic '80s album cover." 1114 00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:50,199 Very good. 1115 00:52:51,401 --> 00:52:54,236 I'm holding my stomach in while I do this. 1116 00:52:54,238 --> 00:52:57,640 Just walking downhill is actually better for that, you know? 1117 00:52:57,642 --> 00:53:00,876 Yeah, but I, i hold it in pretty much all the time now. 1118 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,288 Would you ever do Shakespeare on the stage? 1119 00:53:12,290 --> 00:53:15,357 I would have liked to have played "Hamlet." 1120 00:53:15,359 --> 00:53:19,128 That train has left the station. 1121 00:53:19,130 --> 00:53:20,196 Who would you like to play now? 1122 00:53:20,198 --> 00:53:21,730 Olivier played him when he was 42. 1123 00:53:21,732 --> 00:53:24,200 Olivier was a better actor than you. 1124 00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:25,935 - Well, a different actor. - A better actor. 1125 00:53:25,937 --> 00:53:28,070 A different actor. 1126 00:53:28,072 --> 00:53:30,606 - "King lear?" - He's an old man. 1127 00:53:30,608 --> 00:53:32,041 He's not that old. He's a father. 1128 00:53:32,043 --> 00:53:33,209 You've got more in common with him 1129 00:53:33,211 --> 00:53:35,244 than you have with a teenager. 1130 00:53:44,187 --> 00:53:45,387 Have you lost something? 1131 00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:46,956 She is gone forever. 1132 00:53:49,359 --> 00:53:51,894 I know when one is living and one is dead. 1133 00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:55,431 And she's dead as earth. 1134 00:53:58,168 --> 00:53:59,635 Lend me a looking glass.. 1135 00:54:00,570 --> 00:54:02,705 ...that if her breath.. 1136 00:54:02,707 --> 00:54:04,607 ...a mist of stain the stone.. 1137 00:54:07,010 --> 00:54:08,510 ...why then she lives. 1138 00:54:09,746 --> 00:54:10,946 Very good. 1139 00:54:10,948 --> 00:54:12,648 Very good. "Midsomer murders." 1140 00:54:12,650 --> 00:54:14,650 You're a, you're a father who's just been told 1141 00:54:14,652 --> 00:54:16,452 his daughter's been killed in a road accident 1142 00:54:16,454 --> 00:54:17,586 and that is effective 1143 00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,822 and we're straight into the adverts after that. 1144 00:54:21,826 --> 00:54:24,460 I have of late though wherefore I know not 1145 00:54:24,462 --> 00:54:26,996 lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercise 1146 00:54:26,998 --> 00:54:29,798 and indeed it goes so heavily my disposition 1147 00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:31,767 that this goodly frame the earth, look you 1148 00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:35,037 this fine o'er hanging firmament the sky 1149 00:54:35,039 --> 00:54:38,374 it seems nothing to me, but a foul congregation of vapors. 1150 00:54:38,376 --> 00:54:40,175 Aa-ha-ha. 1151 00:54:40,177 --> 00:54:42,511 "Jumpin' Jack flash." 1152 00:54:43,814 --> 00:54:46,915 Stones do Shakespeare, come on. 1153 00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:51,287 Oh, oh, that is too, too solid flesh 1154 00:54:51,289 --> 00:54:55,424 would melt and resolve itself into a Jew. 1155 00:54:55,426 --> 00:54:58,694 All that the everlasting not fixed his canon 1156 00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:00,729 against self-slaughter. 1157 00:55:02,432 --> 00:55:04,533 Has Russell brand ever done Shakespeare? 1158 00:55:06,069 --> 00:55:07,903 - Oh, god, god. - Mick Jagger. You're doing Mick Jagger. 1159 00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:09,905 - You're doing Mick Jagger. - Well, I, uh.. 1160 00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:11,073 What a, um, what you saying? Aah. 1161 00:55:11,075 --> 00:55:12,374 Ha, what's that? 1162 00:55:12,376 --> 00:55:14,410 - Alright then. Huh. - Huh. Huh. 1163 00:55:14,412 --> 00:55:16,278 That's not Mick Jagger. That's a lot of noises. 1164 00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,280 Ah, Steve, how you doing? You alright? 1165 00:55:18,282 --> 00:55:20,482 What it's no, if you.. Quiet, quiet, let me do it. 1166 00:55:20,484 --> 00:55:22,318 No, no, you, you can't do. 1167 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:23,986 You're copying morrissey, and it isn't like that. 1168 00:55:23,988 --> 00:55:25,721 That's all gay. He goes like that. 1169 00:55:25,723 --> 00:55:27,256 What piece of work, he's a man. 1170 00:55:27,258 --> 00:55:28,924 He goes really deep sometimes 1171 00:55:28,926 --> 00:55:30,426 and you can't get down there. 1172 00:55:30,428 --> 00:55:31,827 You can only go up there. 1173 00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:33,829 You need to go up and down to do him properly. 1174 00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:35,798 You saying i can't get down there? 1175 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,533 You're seriously saying i can't get down there? 1176 00:55:37,535 --> 00:55:39,635 No, that's not.. I was just saying that you're a bad Mick Jagger. 1177 00:55:55,819 --> 00:55:58,187 - Gracias. - Muchas gracias. 1178 00:55:58,189 --> 00:56:00,989 - Si, si. I like wine. - Nice vino, yeah. 1179 00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,561 Muchas gracias. 1180 00:56:09,232 --> 00:56:12,000 So George orwell came over to Spain in 1936. 1181 00:56:12,002 --> 00:56:13,769 - Oh. - Joined -- 1182 00:56:13,771 --> 00:56:16,004 one year after the birth of Elvis. 1183 00:56:16,006 --> 00:56:18,340 He come out to Barcelona with his wife. 1184 00:56:18,342 --> 00:56:19,475 - With his wife. - She stayed there -- 1185 00:56:19,477 --> 00:56:21,143 mini break. 1186 00:56:21,145 --> 00:56:23,912 - She stayed there -- - it's a good place for a mini break. 1187 00:56:23,914 --> 00:56:25,948 Is that what they were doing? 1188 00:56:25,950 --> 00:56:27,950 Were they able to do that in those days? 1189 00:56:27,952 --> 00:56:29,752 Do you wanna learn anythin' about civil war at all 1190 00:56:29,754 --> 00:56:31,353 or you just think it's, like, or you just think 1191 00:56:31,355 --> 00:56:33,155 "i don't know, i don't really give a damn about the civil war. 1192 00:56:33,157 --> 00:56:34,556 I'm not that interested in it." 1193 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:36,158 I want to learn something about civil war. 1194 00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:39,595 Okay. So he came out to Barcelona, left his wife there 1195 00:56:39,597 --> 00:56:42,131 went off to the front to fight, 50 miles away. 1196 00:56:42,133 --> 00:56:44,233 And when he came back, he was so disillusioned 1197 00:56:44,235 --> 00:56:47,469 with the intellectuals who were back in Barcelona. 1198 00:56:47,471 --> 00:56:49,171 When he went back there, he saw them all. 1199 00:56:49,173 --> 00:56:52,207 Uh, they'd become bourgeois, they'd lost sight of their ideals 1200 00:56:52,209 --> 00:56:53,842 though he said they were eating fancy food 1201 00:56:53,844 --> 00:56:55,277 in posh restaurants. 1202 00:56:55,279 --> 00:56:57,045 So he went back to the front one more time. 1203 00:56:57,047 --> 00:56:59,114 Eventually he got shot in the throat. 1204 00:56:59,116 --> 00:57:01,283 Couldn't speak for six months. 1205 00:57:01,285 --> 00:57:03,519 Where's your bullet to the throat when you need one? 1206 00:57:04,687 --> 00:57:07,790 I don't think if I were to say to Sally.. 1207 00:57:09,159 --> 00:57:11,226 ...i was going off to fight, she wouldn't stand there 1208 00:57:11,228 --> 00:57:13,962 and just say alright, you know, you're going off to be killed. 1209 00:57:13,964 --> 00:57:15,531 Yeah, or kill. 1210 00:57:15,533 --> 00:57:16,899 That's a very good point 1211 00:57:16,901 --> 00:57:18,434 'cause that's something else I couldn't do. 1212 00:57:18,436 --> 00:57:20,135 I wouldn't fight a war because I got kids. 1213 00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:21,503 - I got kids. - Yeah. 1214 00:57:21,505 --> 00:57:23,972 But if I didn't have kids, i think I would be -- 1215 00:57:23,974 --> 00:57:25,607 - I don't think you would. - I think I would. 1216 00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:26,608 I think you'd like to think you would 1217 00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:27,643 but I don't think you would. 1218 00:57:27,645 --> 00:57:28,877 You'd go and entertain the troops. 1219 00:57:28,879 --> 00:57:30,212 You'd go and do Alan partridge for the troops. 1220 00:57:30,214 --> 00:57:32,014 That's what you would do. 1221 00:57:32,016 --> 00:57:33,248 And all these proper men 1222 00:57:33,250 --> 00:57:34,583 who are giving over everything 1223 00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:36,919 would love it as you came out and went "ah-ha." 1224 00:57:36,921 --> 00:57:39,521 You know what I'd love if a sniper got you at that moment. Ah.. 1225 00:57:41,058 --> 00:57:43,659 You didn't even finish the "ah-ha." You only got to "ah." 1226 00:57:43,661 --> 00:57:46,361 I'd do the "ha" as I would with my dying breath. 1227 00:57:46,363 --> 00:57:47,596 - I don't think you would. - I would. 1228 00:57:47,598 --> 00:57:49,631 No, you wouldn't. It's to the head, you idiot. 1229 00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:52,100 - Ah! - You wouldn't say "ah-ha." 1230 00:57:52,102 --> 00:57:54,903 - I'd get the "ha" out. - There'd be no "ha." 1231 00:57:54,905 --> 00:57:57,973 And I'd say, if Steve were here now, i know what he'd say.. 1232 00:57:57,975 --> 00:57:59,842 - Ha-ha! - Hm. 1233 00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:08,517 - Hello? - Hi, Steve. 1234 00:58:08,519 --> 00:58:09,985 Hello, Emma love. 1235 00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:11,587 How are you? How's it going? 1236 00:58:11,589 --> 00:58:13,755 Doing very well, yes. 1237 00:58:13,757 --> 00:58:16,091 Good, good. How's, how's rob doing? 1238 00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:17,559 Uh, rob is, uh, great. 1239 00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:18,861 He's doing very well indeed. 1240 00:58:18,863 --> 00:58:20,329 I'm good, I'm good. 1241 00:58:20,331 --> 00:58:22,397 Yeah, you're on speakerphone. That's why I'm being nice. 1242 00:58:22,399 --> 00:58:23,599 Hiya. How are you? 1243 00:58:23,601 --> 00:58:25,434 Oh. Hi, rob. I'm good, thanks. 1244 00:58:25,436 --> 00:58:27,936 I'm just, I'm calling to remind you that I'm coming out to see you tomorrow. 1245 00:58:27,938 --> 00:58:30,005 - Yay! - Yay! Thank god. 1246 00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:31,406 I'm at breaking point. 1247 00:58:31,408 --> 00:58:32,875 Also.. Okay, great. 1248 00:58:32,877 --> 00:58:35,143 And I'm, I'm bringing yolanda with me 1249 00:58:35,145 --> 00:58:36,445 to do the photos for "the New York times." 1250 00:58:36,447 --> 00:58:38,313 - Oh, great. - And "the observer." 1251 00:58:38,315 --> 00:58:40,148 So I just wanted to remind you 1252 00:58:40,150 --> 00:58:42,484 that they do want you to dress up as don quixote 1253 00:58:42,486 --> 00:58:44,486 and Sancho panza, okay? 1254 00:58:45,489 --> 00:58:47,055 What a surprise. 1255 00:58:47,057 --> 00:58:49,825 - Which one am I? - Uh, you, rob, you're Sancho panza. 1256 00:58:49,827 --> 00:58:51,960 - Hey. - Yeah, good. 1257 00:58:51,962 --> 00:58:53,896 A supporting role as ever. 1258 00:59:07,744 --> 00:59:12,514 "Parador de cuenca is a majestic former convent. 1259 00:59:12,516 --> 00:59:13,582 Careful. 1260 00:59:13,584 --> 00:59:16,084 "Perched above the cuenca gorge 1261 00:59:16,086 --> 00:59:19,855 with stunning views of the old town." 1262 00:59:19,857 --> 00:59:21,723 Oh, look at that. Look at that. Oh, that's beautiful. 1263 00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,892 When that's.. Don't look at it too much. 1264 00:59:40,343 --> 00:59:41,443 Hello. 1265 00:59:41,445 --> 00:59:43,145 Hi. Is that rob brydon? 1266 00:59:43,147 --> 00:59:44,646 Uh, speaking. 1267 00:59:44,648 --> 00:59:46,348 I've got Matt Jacobs for you. 1268 00:59:47,216 --> 00:59:49,251 Okay. 1269 00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:52,254 Hey, rob brydon. He-he-he-he-he. 1270 00:59:52,256 --> 00:59:55,324 - Hello. Hi, Matt. - Hey, man, how you doin'? 1271 00:59:55,326 --> 00:59:57,793 Yeah, I'm alright. How -- how are you? 1272 00:59:57,795 --> 00:59:59,461 I'm good. How's, uh, London? 1273 00:59:59,463 --> 01:00:02,331 Oh, I'm in Spain. I'm not in London, I'm in Spain. 1274 01:00:02,333 --> 01:00:05,300 - Hi, Greg. - Hi, Steve. How are you? 1275 01:00:05,302 --> 01:00:06,501 I've been better. 1276 01:00:06,503 --> 01:00:08,637 Uh, do you know they brought a new writer on 1277 01:00:08,639 --> 01:00:11,573 to, uh, to -- to rewrite, uh, "missing?" 1278 01:00:11,575 --> 01:00:14,309 Yeah, but it's -- it's nothing. It's -- it's just, it's standard. 1279 01:00:14,311 --> 01:00:16,144 It's just -- just for a Polish, that's all. 1280 01:00:16,146 --> 01:00:20,115 I'm with Steve, with, uh, with Steve coogan. 1281 01:00:20,117 --> 01:00:22,985 Oh, Steve coogan. Yeah, yeah, good, good. 1282 01:00:22,987 --> 01:00:25,220 Is this the Matt, the.. That's Steve's agent? 1283 01:00:25,222 --> 01:00:26,555 Yeah, uh, well, no. 1284 01:00:26,557 --> 01:00:27,990 I mean, I've left the agency. 1285 01:00:27,992 --> 01:00:30,492 Uh, uh, we met at Sundance. 1286 01:00:30,494 --> 01:00:31,727 You remember that. 1287 01:00:31,729 --> 01:00:34,696 Uh, I've got, uh, two Oscar nominations. 1288 01:00:34,698 --> 01:00:36,231 Uh, the last film i wrote 1289 01:00:36,233 --> 01:00:37,799 had four -- four academy award nominations. 1290 01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:39,167 Yeah, I know, but do you know what, he's really 1291 01:00:39,169 --> 01:00:41,169 he's, he's great, he's, he's up-and-coming. 1292 01:00:41,171 --> 01:00:44,706 Uh, uh, up-and-coming? I -- I've up and come. 1293 01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:45,941 I've already up and come. 1294 01:00:45,943 --> 01:00:47,342 Yeah. You have. No, absolutely, you have. 1295 01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:48,477 You have, Steve, you have. 1296 01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:49,911 Look, let me cut to the chase. 1297 01:00:49,913 --> 01:00:53,715 I saw you in the..."Horseman." 1298 01:00:53,717 --> 01:00:55,250 - "The huntsman." - "The huntsman." 1299 01:00:55,252 --> 01:00:56,284 I saw you in "the huntsman." 1300 01:00:56,286 --> 01:00:57,753 I thought you were fantastic, man. 1301 01:00:57,755 --> 01:01:00,322 I mean, really, you burned up the screen. You've got it. 1302 01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:01,590 That little midget walk you did. 1303 01:01:01,592 --> 01:01:03,125 The -- the screen, the screen loves you 1304 01:01:03,127 --> 01:01:04,426 but you were being under-used there 1305 01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:06,862 so let me -- let me cut to the chase, okay? 1306 01:01:06,864 --> 01:01:09,564 You should be doing what Nick frost is doing. 1307 01:01:09,566 --> 01:01:12,134 Well, I did, I -- I did "the huntsman" with him. 1308 01:01:12,136 --> 01:01:13,402 This is -- this is what I'm saying. 1309 01:01:13,404 --> 01:01:17,239 You should be doing what James corden is doing. 1310 01:01:17,241 --> 01:01:18,707 You know, he's the biggest thing on TV. 1311 01:01:18,709 --> 01:01:22,044 I was with James in, uh, "Gavin and Stacey." 1312 01:01:22,046 --> 01:01:23,111 Oh, I heard about that. 1313 01:01:23,113 --> 01:01:24,780 It was supposed to be fantastic. 1314 01:01:24,782 --> 01:01:26,815 I, uh, I missed it, but I'll definitely get a copy. 1315 01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:28,784 You know, you should be the new Simon pegg. 1316 01:01:28,786 --> 01:01:31,219 You should be, you could be 1317 01:01:31,221 --> 01:01:33,922 you will be the new Ricky gervais. 1318 01:01:33,924 --> 01:01:35,691 Oh, gosh. Well, Ricky, huh? 1319 01:01:35,693 --> 01:01:36,825 That's what we all dream of. 1320 01:01:36,827 --> 01:01:38,427 What does Jeff think of this? 1321 01:01:38,429 --> 01:01:39,461 Jeff, Jeff's fine with it. 1322 01:01:39,463 --> 01:01:40,595 Jeff's just very busy doing 1323 01:01:40,597 --> 01:01:42,531 another screenplay for fox, so, he -- he -- 1324 01:01:42,533 --> 01:01:44,633 what, what script is Jeff doing for fox? I didn't know that. 1325 01:01:44,635 --> 01:01:46,468 He's doing a script for George Clooney. 1326 01:01:46,470 --> 01:01:48,336 For George Clooney? Right, okay. 1327 01:01:48,338 --> 01:01:50,038 I had no, I had no idea about it. 1328 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:51,940 Another thing i had no idea about. 1329 01:01:51,942 --> 01:01:53,909 Have you, have you ever done any, any hosting 1330 01:01:53,911 --> 01:01:55,610 any, uh, awards ceremonies? 1331 01:01:55,612 --> 01:01:57,879 I -- I hosted the la baftas once. 1332 01:01:57,881 --> 01:02:00,449 The what? They have la baftas? 1333 01:02:00,451 --> 01:02:01,850 Who do they give those to? 1334 01:02:01,852 --> 01:02:02,984 Listen, never mind. 1335 01:02:02,986 --> 01:02:04,586 You should be hosting the golden globes. 1336 01:02:04,588 --> 01:02:05,687 This is what I'm talkin' about. 1337 01:02:05,689 --> 01:02:08,356 It's my script. Look, I wrote it, I.. 1338 01:02:08,358 --> 01:02:10,592 Well, I co-wrote it. I'm producing it. 1339 01:02:10,594 --> 01:02:13,462 I'm gonna star in it, not Tim hoddleston 1340 01:02:13,464 --> 01:02:14,930 or some other fucking posh twat. 1341 01:02:14,932 --> 01:02:16,298 This should be the best phone call.. 1342 01:02:16,300 --> 01:02:19,668 This will be the best phone call you've ever had. 1343 01:02:19,670 --> 01:02:20,969 Yes. 1344 01:02:20,971 --> 01:02:22,237 - It's my film, okay? - Of course, it is. 1345 01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:24,806 That's what it's gonna be. Good, thank you. 1346 01:02:31,714 --> 01:02:33,315 He's British at the end. 1347 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:36,418 Turns out.. 1348 01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,253 That's what Laurie Lee did 1349 01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,755 to pay his way around Spain. 1350 01:02:39,757 --> 01:02:42,090 - He busked. - Yeah. 1351 01:02:56,906 --> 01:03:00,575 You know that, uh, cuenca was one of the last places 1352 01:03:00,577 --> 01:03:03,211 to fall to the fascists in the civil war. 1353 01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:06,715 March 29th, 1939. 1354 01:03:06,717 --> 01:03:08,683 Perfect position, it's up on a hilltop 1355 01:03:08,685 --> 01:03:10,352 so very difficult to attack 1356 01:03:10,354 --> 01:03:11,686 and very easy to defend. 1357 01:03:11,688 --> 01:03:13,522 Yeah, and they may very well have held out 1358 01:03:13,524 --> 01:03:16,291 if it weren't for the fact that the, the army 1359 01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:19,194 the republican army turned against the socialist government. 1360 01:03:19,196 --> 01:03:20,428 If it weren't for that 1361 01:03:20,430 --> 01:03:22,597 Franco may well not have won. 1362 01:03:22,599 --> 01:03:24,432 Hola. 1363 01:03:24,434 --> 01:03:25,867 We gave you money before, mate. 1364 01:03:25,869 --> 01:03:27,402 Oh, yeah. Sorry, fellas. Take care. 1365 01:03:27,404 --> 01:03:28,870 You can have a drink with us if you want though. 1366 01:03:28,872 --> 01:03:30,005 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1367 01:03:30,007 --> 01:03:31,573 - You sure? - Yeah, grab a pew. 1368 01:03:31,575 --> 01:03:33,074 - There's a seat there. - Actually, that'd be lovely. 1369 01:03:33,076 --> 01:03:34,476 - Cheers, man. - No worries, yeah. 1370 01:03:34,478 --> 01:03:36,278 Una cana por favor? 1371 01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,446 - Sound very good. - Thank you, man. 1372 01:03:38,448 --> 01:03:39,648 Especially like your backing singers. 1373 01:03:39,650 --> 01:03:41,082 Oh, yeah. Hardly the monettes, right? 1374 01:03:41,084 --> 01:03:43,051 - You know them? - Um, yeah. 1375 01:03:43,053 --> 01:03:44,719 I suppose new acquaintances maybe. 1376 01:03:44,721 --> 01:03:46,822 - Wow. - Yeah. 1377 01:03:46,824 --> 01:03:48,590 So, you guys, you on holiday? 1378 01:03:48,592 --> 01:03:50,659 - No, we're working. - Oh, right. 1379 01:03:50,661 --> 01:03:53,929 I'm, uh, I'm writing a book 1380 01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:57,666 about my, um, sort of travel through Spain 1381 01:03:57,668 --> 01:04:00,769 replicating a journey i did when I was, when I was a younger man. 1382 01:04:00,771 --> 01:04:04,873 Well, it's kind of a little bit inspired by, um, Laurie Lee. 1383 01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:07,342 You know, well, uh, "when I walked out one midsummer morning." 1384 01:04:07,344 --> 01:04:09,411 - Yeah -- - and we're driving it. Cheers! 1385 01:04:09,413 --> 01:04:11,613 Uh, cheers, mate. Yeah, I love Laurie Lee. 1386 01:04:11,615 --> 01:04:13,415 That's part of the reason when I saw you busking there 1387 01:04:13,417 --> 01:04:14,916 I said, "well, this is how Laurie Lee" 1388 01:04:14,918 --> 01:04:17,519 because he paid his way through Spain by doing the same thing. 1389 01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:20,422 With a violin, yeah, but, yeah, right on. 1390 01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:22,157 So you guys staying in cuenca long? 1391 01:04:22,159 --> 01:04:23,558 - No, we're.. - No. 1392 01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,861 One day in every place, I'm writing restaurant reviews 1393 01:04:25,863 --> 01:04:28,263 so we go to one town, we're there a day and then we go on. 1394 01:04:28,265 --> 01:04:30,765 Oh, have you been in, uh, San Sebastian for food? 1395 01:04:30,767 --> 01:04:32,667 It's the best place in Spain for food by a country mile. 1396 01:04:32,669 --> 01:04:34,302 - Yeah, I know. - We were near there in santander. 1397 01:04:34,304 --> 01:04:35,370 - Weren't we? - Yeah. 1398 01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:37,138 Or catalonia, not just Barcelona. 1399 01:04:37,140 --> 01:04:38,874 - Food there's excellent, yeah? - Yeah, we just.. 1400 01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:40,475 Well, we're not, we're trying.. 1401 01:04:40,477 --> 01:04:41,710 We thought we were gonna go there 1402 01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:43,278 but we just thought it was a bit too obvious. 1403 01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:45,113 And we're trying, we're trying to do stuff that's a little bit 1404 01:04:45,115 --> 01:04:47,449 like, kind of, the kind of nooks and crannies 1405 01:04:47,451 --> 01:04:48,750 slightly off, off the beaten track a little bit. 1406 01:04:48,752 --> 01:04:50,819 Like San Luca, near cadiz? 1407 01:04:50,821 --> 01:04:52,387 The tuna there is absolutely banging. 1408 01:04:52,389 --> 01:04:53,822 - You'll love that. - Yeah, I know. 1409 01:04:53,824 --> 01:04:55,724 It's more, like, the culture than the food. 1410 01:04:55,726 --> 01:04:57,158 Although food's part of it 1411 01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:58,693 but it's more, like, the kinda cultural experience. 1412 01:04:58,695 --> 01:05:00,562 But if it's food and culture 1413 01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:03,565 that you are looking for, valencia. 1414 01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:04,966 - Valencia? - Yeah, you probably know it. 1415 01:05:04,968 --> 01:05:06,735 - Casa Montana? - I know. Yeah, yeah. 1416 01:05:06,737 --> 01:05:08,036 - Yeah, it's the best. - I know. 1417 01:05:08,038 --> 01:05:09,871 And valencia's got the holy grail. 1418 01:05:09,873 --> 01:05:12,073 How long does it take to get to valencia from here? 1419 01:05:12,075 --> 01:05:14,075 Well, valencia's like two hours away, man. It's close. 1420 01:05:14,077 --> 01:05:15,443 Let's go to valencia. 1421 01:05:15,445 --> 01:05:17,379 Well, no, we two.. No, we're not going valencia. 1422 01:05:17,381 --> 01:05:18,880 - Well go to valencia. - No. 1423 01:05:18,882 --> 01:05:20,682 We'll go to valencia. It's two hours. 1424 01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:22,083 We've got a schedule worked out. 1425 01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:25,186 We got a pre-ordained route taking in some, uh -- 1426 01:05:25,188 --> 01:05:27,622 where's the fun in that? Stray from the path, man. 1427 01:05:27,624 --> 01:05:29,391 Yeah, we sort of are straying from the path 1428 01:05:29,393 --> 01:05:31,493 by not going to places like catalonia, so.. 1429 01:05:31,495 --> 01:05:34,262 - Okay. - You can go there for us. 1430 01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:36,197 - I will, again. - Okay, again, yeah. 1431 01:05:36,199 --> 01:05:38,266 Alright, listen, I'm gonna head back to the hotel, anyway 1432 01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:41,002 so, uh, I'm gonna head off. 1433 01:05:41,004 --> 01:05:42,570 - Going back to the hotel? - Yeah. 1434 01:05:42,572 --> 01:05:44,105 - Now? - Yeah, yeah. 1435 01:05:44,107 --> 01:05:46,975 You're alright, you'll be alright here with, uh, man. 1436 01:05:46,977 --> 01:05:49,010 Get him to play a few tunes. Alright, mate. 1437 01:05:49,012 --> 01:05:50,445 Good luck with your Bo diddly stuff. 1438 01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:51,513 And thanks for the beer, man. 1439 01:05:51,515 --> 01:05:52,547 Yeah, no worries. Okay. 1440 01:05:52,549 --> 01:05:54,182 Alright, see you later. 1441 01:05:57,787 --> 01:06:00,155 - Sorry about that. - Touched a nerve no more. 1442 01:06:00,157 --> 01:06:01,923 He, uh, doesn't like to be told things 1443 01:06:01,925 --> 01:06:04,926 that he thinks he knows. 1444 01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:10,298 - Hello. - Hello. 1445 01:06:10,300 --> 01:06:13,768 You look, uh, delectable and tasty. 1446 01:06:13,770 --> 01:06:15,570 Like a piece of ham. 1447 01:06:15,572 --> 01:06:17,806 Oh, alright, then, you look sexy. 1448 01:06:18,708 --> 01:06:20,942 I don't feel very sexy. 1449 01:06:20,944 --> 01:06:22,377 I had a chat with the builders 1450 01:06:22,379 --> 01:06:25,113 and they can't start for another month. 1451 01:06:25,115 --> 01:06:29,517 - Hey, Misha. - Hi. Where are you? 1452 01:06:29,519 --> 01:06:32,087 I had a fan phone call today. 1453 01:06:32,089 --> 01:06:33,588 Do you remember the agent 1454 01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:37,025 Steve used to have in la called Matt? 1455 01:06:37,027 --> 01:06:38,393 Sort of, yeah. 1456 01:06:38,395 --> 01:06:40,028 Look, when you come back 1457 01:06:40,030 --> 01:06:42,030 I was thinking 1458 01:06:42,032 --> 01:06:44,399 maybe we could go out to Rachel's for the weekend? 1459 01:06:44,401 --> 01:06:46,201 Fantastic. Yeah, I'd love to do that. 1460 01:06:46,203 --> 01:06:48,169 - You're not excited. - Yeah. But I'll.. 1461 01:06:48,171 --> 01:06:50,205 Uh, you know what, yeah, uh, we'll definitely do that. 1462 01:06:50,207 --> 01:06:51,573 But why don't you come out earlier? 1463 01:06:51,575 --> 01:06:53,942 He wants me to go with him 1464 01:06:53,944 --> 01:06:56,044 and be represented by him in la. 1465 01:06:56,046 --> 01:06:59,080 Well, surely, there's no point in that, is there? 1466 01:06:59,082 --> 01:07:00,448 Absolutely the right answer. 1467 01:07:00,450 --> 01:07:02,384 Well done. I give you two points for that. 1468 01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:05,220 And that is what I will be telling this little American fellow 1469 01:07:05,222 --> 01:07:07,722 uh, in me own way. Uh.. 1470 01:07:07,724 --> 01:07:09,157 That it's too far away from me. 1471 01:07:09,159 --> 01:07:10,225 Yeah, of course, it is. 1472 01:07:10,227 --> 01:07:12,560 But isn't Joe supposed to come out? 1473 01:07:12,562 --> 01:07:14,629 Yeah, but he's -- he can do his own thing. 1474 01:07:14,631 --> 01:07:16,064 You know, he's a big boy. 1475 01:07:16,066 --> 01:07:17,599 How old is he now? 1476 01:07:17,601 --> 01:07:19,534 He's 20 years old now. 1477 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,036 Oh, you better watch out. 1478 01:07:21,038 --> 01:07:23,138 I might like him more than I like you. 1479 01:07:23,140 --> 01:07:26,541 - Yeah, you're gross. - Look, I gotta go. 1480 01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:29,110 - I'll talk to you later. - Okay, bye. 1481 01:08:03,913 --> 01:08:05,380 Oh, they're here. 1482 01:08:05,382 --> 01:08:07,315 Hey. Oh. 1483 01:08:07,317 --> 01:08:08,750 - Hola. - Hola. 1484 01:08:08,752 --> 01:08:10,085 - How you doing? - Hey. 1485 01:08:10,087 --> 01:08:12,253 - Good to see you. - You, too. How's it going? 1486 01:08:12,255 --> 01:08:14,155 - Thank you. How are you? - Great. 1487 01:08:14,157 --> 01:08:15,590 - Very nice to see you. - Nice to see you. 1488 01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:16,858 - Hey, how are you? - Hello, you alright? 1489 01:08:16,860 --> 01:08:18,626 - Well, good to see you. - How was your flight? 1490 01:08:18,628 --> 01:08:21,329 Yeah, it was very good. So photographs. 1491 01:08:21,331 --> 01:08:22,597 - Location's up the hill. - What about them? 1492 01:08:29,338 --> 01:08:30,605 - Yes. - I'm gonna have them there. 1493 01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:32,006 Yeah. 1494 01:08:33,576 --> 01:08:37,479 These are about two sizes too big, the shoes. 1495 01:08:37,481 --> 01:08:39,848 Yeah, this is really painful. 1496 01:08:39,850 --> 01:08:43,685 I don't know, i don't know how anyone can fight in this stuff. 1497 01:08:43,687 --> 01:08:45,420 What shoe size did you give them? 1498 01:08:45,422 --> 01:08:48,223 - The size that you sent, sent me over. - Well, that was seven. 1499 01:08:48,225 --> 01:08:51,159 These feel like a ten or, or an eleven. 1500 01:08:51,161 --> 01:08:52,961 You've only gotta wear them for a minute, so.. 1501 01:08:52,963 --> 01:08:54,562 - Oh.. - You alright, Steve? 1502 01:08:54,564 --> 01:08:56,030 So, you guys ready? 1503 01:08:56,032 --> 01:08:59,367 We could've got changed, uh, up here and not down there. 1504 01:09:00,904 --> 01:09:02,036 Let him push you up. 1505 01:09:02,038 --> 01:09:03,171 One, two, three. 1506 01:09:03,973 --> 01:09:05,306 Okay. 1507 01:09:05,308 --> 01:09:06,875 - I can give you a push. - I can give you a hand. 1508 01:09:06,877 --> 01:09:08,676 No, no. I don't need any help. I've done it before. 1509 01:09:08,678 --> 01:09:10,044 One, two, three. 1510 01:09:11,348 --> 01:09:13,548 - Hey, there. - Yay, good. 1511 01:09:13,550 --> 01:09:16,217 Just about getting the timing right. 1512 01:09:16,219 --> 01:09:18,086 - Okay. - Yeah. 1513 01:09:18,088 --> 01:09:20,889 There's no saddle. Alright, thank you. 1514 01:09:20,891 --> 01:09:22,624 Hang on. 1515 01:09:22,626 --> 01:09:24,792 - Okay. Do it quickly. Yeah? - Hold your horses. 1516 01:09:24,794 --> 01:09:26,094 Oh-oh! 1517 01:09:29,733 --> 01:09:32,934 - Take the picture. - Just take the fucking picture. 1518 01:09:32,936 --> 01:09:35,103 What's she doing there? Is she on the Internet? 1519 01:09:36,373 --> 01:09:39,107 - Just take the picture. - Yes, I'm coming, rob. 1520 01:09:40,343 --> 01:09:41,476 Very good. 1521 01:09:49,985 --> 01:09:52,187 don quixote had three trips, didn't he? 1522 01:09:52,189 --> 01:09:53,821 He had the one that he went out on his own. 1523 01:09:53,823 --> 01:09:56,090 And he went back and visited Sancho panza 1524 01:09:56,092 --> 01:09:58,159 and then he had the sequel and -- and this is 1525 01:09:58,161 --> 01:09:59,627 now your third trip. 1526 01:09:59,629 --> 01:10:01,162 When cervantes wrote the sequel 1527 01:10:01,164 --> 01:10:04,566 in the interim, after he'd written the -- the first part 1528 01:10:04,568 --> 01:10:07,235 there was a fake sequel published. 1529 01:10:07,237 --> 01:10:10,104 Then he incorporated the fake sequel 1530 01:10:10,106 --> 01:10:11,339 into his real sequel. 1531 01:10:11,341 --> 01:10:12,840 So, he made that part of the story. 1532 01:10:12,842 --> 01:10:14,909 So when he wrote in his travels in the second book 1533 01:10:14,911 --> 01:10:17,478 he bumps into people who've read the fake sequel. 1534 01:10:17,480 --> 01:10:19,714 And so he can slag it off within the pages 1535 01:10:19,716 --> 01:10:21,082 as don quixote. 1536 01:10:21,084 --> 01:10:23,918 That is so bold and innovative. 1537 01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:25,620 I mean, it's 500 years ago. 1538 01:10:25,622 --> 01:10:27,922 So, effectively, he was post-modern 1539 01:10:27,924 --> 01:10:29,691 before there was any modern to be post about. 1540 01:10:29,693 --> 01:10:30,725 Amazing. 1541 01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:40,335 Cervantes, of course, when he was 37 1542 01:10:40,337 --> 01:10:41,836 he married a 19-year-old. 1543 01:10:41,838 --> 01:10:43,504 Impressive for a man with one arm. 1544 01:10:43,506 --> 01:10:45,006 Thirty years ago when I came to Spain 1545 01:10:45,008 --> 01:10:46,841 I was 18 years old, I was pursuing 1546 01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:48,142 a 37-year-old woman. 1547 01:10:48,144 --> 01:10:50,712 - She was 37? - The reverse. 1548 01:10:50,714 --> 01:10:52,146 I wasn't doing the kind of cliche 1549 01:10:52,148 --> 01:10:53,214 going with a younger woman.. 1550 01:10:53,216 --> 01:10:55,750 She was actually 20 years older than me. 1551 01:10:55,752 --> 01:10:59,687 Would you now be with a woman 20 years older? 1552 01:10:59,689 --> 01:11:01,589 Well, I don't -- i think that that's -- 1553 01:11:01,591 --> 01:11:02,890 I'll ask again. 1554 01:11:02,892 --> 01:11:05,393 Would you now be with a woman 20 years older? 1555 01:11:05,395 --> 01:11:06,494 A 70-year-old. A 70-year-old. 1556 01:11:06,496 --> 01:11:08,162 That's academic. 1557 01:11:08,164 --> 01:11:10,398 She -- she could be in any profession, it wouldn't matter. 1558 01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:16,104 But he imagined that the, uh, the inns were castles, didn't he? 1559 01:11:16,106 --> 01:11:17,805 - In -- in his imagination. - He did, yeah. 1560 01:11:17,807 --> 01:11:19,173 We've been staying in inns? 1561 01:11:19,175 --> 01:11:21,175 Well, we've been literally staying in castles. 1562 01:11:21,177 --> 01:11:23,111 Sorry, we have, yeah. No, we've been staying in castles. 1563 01:11:23,113 --> 01:11:25,179 I think they're inns. He stayed in inns, he thought they were castles. 1564 01:11:25,181 --> 01:11:26,547 - So it's, uh.. - So -- so, yes. 1565 01:11:26,549 --> 01:11:28,883 - Like a circle and a spiral. - The other way around. 1566 01:11:28,885 --> 01:11:31,052 - Yes. - Like a wheel within a wheel. 1567 01:11:31,054 --> 01:11:32,387 Never ending or beginning 1568 01:11:32,389 --> 01:11:33,588 on an ever-spinning reel. 1569 01:11:33,590 --> 01:11:34,589 Yeah. 1570 01:11:34,591 --> 01:11:36,591 Like the circles that you find 1571 01:11:36,593 --> 01:11:39,894 in the windmills of your mind. 1572 01:11:39,896 --> 01:11:41,229 - The windmills. - Windmills. 1573 01:11:41,231 --> 01:11:44,198 That could be a post-modern manifesto. 1574 01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:46,934 - It really could. - Or a lovely song from the '70s. 1575 01:12:12,861 --> 01:12:15,596 "Spanish fly," rob brydon, Steve coogan. 1576 01:12:15,598 --> 01:12:17,131 Wonderful stuff from them. 1577 01:12:17,133 --> 01:12:18,966 Now, don't forget, we've come a long way this morning -- 1578 01:12:18,968 --> 01:12:20,601 uh, let me just interrupt you there 1579 01:12:20,603 --> 01:12:23,037 old kibby Bruce, me old friend. 1580 01:12:23,039 --> 01:12:25,273 Because, uh, anyone who's anyone 1581 01:12:25,275 --> 01:12:27,342 will know that.. 1582 01:12:27,344 --> 01:12:30,278 ...the title of the song by herb Albert 1583 01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:33,481 is "Spanish flea" and not "Spanish fly." 1584 01:12:33,483 --> 01:12:35,383 May I be so bold as to pick you up 1585 01:12:35,385 --> 01:12:39,087 on a wee-point, which is, that it's not herb Albert. 1586 01:12:39,089 --> 01:12:41,589 It's herb Alpert, with a p. 1587 01:12:41,591 --> 01:12:44,025 You got your -- your ps and your bs mixed up there. 1588 01:12:44,027 --> 01:12:46,094 You got your fleas and your flies all over. 1589 01:12:46,096 --> 01:12:48,629 And you've got your, you've got your ps and your bs. 1590 01:12:48,631 --> 01:12:50,498 I feel a little bold with the mistake there 1591 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,467 so that you can pick me up, so we're all.. 1592 01:12:52,469 --> 01:12:53,468 So we're all even-Steven. 1593 01:12:54,738 --> 01:12:56,070 ...probably never know if that was a sweet.. 1594 01:12:56,072 --> 01:12:57,905 Fleas, flies, peas, bees. 1595 01:12:57,907 --> 01:12:59,040 You put a p in the wrong place.. 1596 01:12:59,042 --> 01:13:00,341 I had a p in the wrong place once 1597 01:13:00,343 --> 01:13:02,343 they won't let me back in that supermarket again. 1598 01:13:02,345 --> 01:13:04,045 Yes, and don't forget that, you know 1599 01:13:04,047 --> 01:13:07,382 time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies 1600 01:13:07,384 --> 01:13:08,816 like a banana. 1601 01:13:27,169 --> 01:13:30,104 This is beautiful. Very calming. 1602 01:13:30,106 --> 01:13:31,973 - Yeah. - It's wonderful. 1603 01:13:31,975 --> 01:13:34,509 It's interesting, isn't it? We started in the birthplace 1604 01:13:34,511 --> 01:13:37,178 of king ferdinand. 1605 01:13:37,180 --> 01:13:41,115 And here we are at the place where they were buried. 1606 01:13:41,117 --> 01:13:43,418 - Here? - Yeah, in the hotel. 1607 01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:44,952 - It wasn't a hotel then. - No, it wasn't then. 1608 01:13:44,954 --> 01:13:47,188 That would be awful, wouldn't it? Dreadful. 1609 01:13:47,190 --> 01:13:50,091 I have a reservation, uh, Smith. 1610 01:13:50,093 --> 01:13:51,993 - Corpses of. - Give us a moment, please. 1611 01:13:51,995 --> 01:13:53,861 We are about to bury the king, please. 1612 01:13:53,863 --> 01:13:55,163 What? Yes, we have a gymnasium. 1613 01:13:56,366 --> 01:13:58,099 Why are they buried in granada then? 1614 01:13:58,101 --> 01:14:00,134 Because this is the last town 1615 01:14:00,136 --> 01:14:02,537 to fall to the catholics. 1616 01:14:02,539 --> 01:14:06,007 That's why they call them the catholic king and queen. 1617 01:14:06,009 --> 01:14:08,476 The thing with the moors is they were way more tolerant 1618 01:14:08,478 --> 01:14:10,144 than the catholics who came after them. 1619 01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:13,014 I'm a big fan of the moors. I'm.. 1620 01:14:13,016 --> 01:14:16,350 Dudley Moore, Christy Moore, Patrick Moore. 1621 01:14:16,352 --> 01:14:18,586 No more, please. 1622 01:14:18,588 --> 01:14:21,022 - Roger Moore. - No. 1623 01:14:21,024 --> 01:14:24,859 When I think back to the moors being here in Spain 1624 01:14:24,861 --> 01:14:28,229 I can honestly say we had a wonderful time. 1625 01:14:28,231 --> 01:14:31,399 Mother booked the holiday and we arrived 1626 01:14:31,401 --> 01:14:34,001 and found the hotel to be to our liking. 1627 01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:37,472 And of course, what you're forgetting to point out is that the moors 1628 01:14:37,474 --> 01:14:41,342 when they conquered Spain in the early 8th century 1629 01:14:41,344 --> 01:14:43,177 they were, uh, encountering a Europe 1630 01:14:43,179 --> 01:14:45,613 that was still very much in the dark ages. 1631 01:14:45,615 --> 01:14:47,148 It was pitch black. 1632 01:14:47,150 --> 01:14:50,084 But they, of course, built beautiful palaces like this. 1633 01:14:50,086 --> 01:14:51,853 They were very ahead of their time. 1634 01:14:51,855 --> 01:14:54,989 I have to tell you, when we were building these palaces 1635 01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:58,426 my fellow moors, mother, father, and sister 1636 01:14:58,428 --> 01:15:00,828 sometimes we would encounter a workman 1637 01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:05,299 who, perhaps, wasn't working quite as quickly as I would want. 1638 01:15:05,301 --> 01:15:06,934 Then I would say to him.. 1639 01:15:06,936 --> 01:15:08,269 - Move! - Move! 1640 01:15:09,204 --> 01:15:10,571 - Move! - Move! 1641 01:15:10,573 --> 01:15:12,139 - Move! - Move! 1642 01:15:12,141 --> 01:15:15,343 - Um.. - A lot of them thought they were hearing cows. 1643 01:15:15,345 --> 01:15:17,311 The thing about doing Roger Moore.. 1644 01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:20,381 - Yes? - Less is more. 1645 01:15:20,383 --> 01:15:23,651 Ah, you've met my brother, les. Les, come in. 1646 01:15:23,653 --> 01:15:26,220 That's right, I'm also a Moore. Les Moore. 1647 01:15:26,222 --> 01:15:28,189 I was trying to hint that you should always 1648 01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:31,025 leave your audience wanting more. 1649 01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:33,661 My audience constantly wants more 1650 01:15:33,663 --> 01:15:35,062 and that's what i give them. 1651 01:15:36,232 --> 01:15:37,331 Roger Moore. 1652 01:15:37,333 --> 01:15:40,902 Oh, quit while you are ahead. 1653 01:15:40,904 --> 01:15:42,737 They introduced the orange to Spain. 1654 01:15:42,739 --> 01:15:44,505 - The moors? - Yeah. 1655 01:15:44,507 --> 01:15:46,741 - Really? From where? - She's absolutely right. 1656 01:15:46,743 --> 01:15:47,808 - I guess Morocco. - Morocco. 1657 01:15:47,810 --> 01:15:48,943 That's where they were coming from. 1658 01:15:48,945 --> 01:15:50,778 I could explain it to you if you like. 1659 01:15:50,780 --> 01:15:54,115 It was my mother. She packed one into her hand luggage. 1660 01:15:54,117 --> 01:15:55,583 - He didn't get the hint, did he? - No. 1661 01:15:55,585 --> 01:15:57,385 On one of our holidays 1662 01:15:57,387 --> 01:15:59,320 of course, I said, "mother, what are you doing?" 1663 01:15:59,322 --> 01:16:02,890 She said, "shush, Roger, I'm going to introduce the orange to Spain." 1664 01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:05,593 And about the other thing that moors introduced was, of course 1665 01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:07,061 uh, our numerical system. 1666 01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:08,896 That's right, we're going to calculate -- 1667 01:16:08,898 --> 01:16:09,931 because basically they.. 1668 01:16:09,933 --> 01:16:11,499 We used to use Roman numerals 1669 01:16:11,501 --> 01:16:13,834 and it was only when they found the arabic numerical system 1670 01:16:13,836 --> 01:16:17,805 that we developed that into, into the 1671 01:16:17,807 --> 01:16:19,874 the -- the numerical system we use today. 1672 01:16:19,876 --> 01:16:21,409 Mm-hmm. 1673 01:16:21,411 --> 01:16:22,577 Mother said it would never work. 1674 01:16:22,579 --> 01:16:24,045 He's very crazy. 1675 01:16:24,047 --> 01:16:25,313 Um, the fact is that 1676 01:16:25,315 --> 01:16:27,848 the, the moors were fa -- far more sophisticated. 1677 01:16:27,850 --> 01:16:31,919 They knew about medicine, philosophy, uh, mathematics. 1678 01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:34,288 - Uh, uh, astronomy. - Oh, we love looking.. 1679 01:16:34,290 --> 01:16:36,891 Very, very.. Way more advanced than.. 1680 01:16:36,893 --> 01:16:38,960 And also managed to marry, uh -- 1681 01:16:38,962 --> 01:16:40,861 my parents did marry. You're quite right. 1682 01:16:40,863 --> 01:16:42,663 They married at a young age, they had me -- 1683 01:16:42,665 --> 01:16:44,498 rob, rob, rob -- 1684 01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:47,668 - it was a wonderful time. - Seriously, seriously. 1685 01:16:47,670 --> 01:16:51,172 It was a wonderful day. My uncle bertie gave the sermon. 1686 01:16:51,174 --> 01:16:53,808 He was a preacher, you see? 1687 01:16:53,810 --> 01:16:55,843 The Greek philosophers were translated 1688 01:16:55,845 --> 01:16:59,413 into arabic by, by -- by the moors, and it was only when 1689 01:16:59,415 --> 01:17:00,448 during -- during the crusades 1690 01:17:00,450 --> 01:17:02,249 when they invaded Toledo -- 1691 01:17:02,251 --> 01:17:03,751 I remember father sitting at his desk 1692 01:17:03,753 --> 01:17:05,620 translating night and day. 1693 01:17:05,622 --> 01:17:07,321 My mother would say to him 1694 01:17:07,323 --> 01:17:09,490 "when are you going to take Roger to the park?" 1695 01:17:09,492 --> 01:17:13,294 Aristotle's teachings were translated into arabic by the muslims 1696 01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:14,962 and then during the crusades, they -- 1697 01:17:14,964 --> 01:17:17,398 why didn't you say they were done by the moors? 1698 01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:18,866 Are you trying to discourage me? 1699 01:17:18,868 --> 01:17:21,035 - What? - Look, please, yes -- 1700 01:17:21,037 --> 01:17:23,704 you've stopped saying moors, you started saying muslims 1701 01:17:23,706 --> 01:17:27,875 and I find that a little racially offensive. 1702 01:17:27,877 --> 01:17:29,110 Go on. Please. 1703 01:17:29,112 --> 01:17:31,445 You started off referring to us as the moors. 1704 01:17:31,447 --> 01:17:33,781 Now you're referring to us as muslims. 1705 01:17:33,783 --> 01:17:34,849 The moors were muslims. 1706 01:17:34,851 --> 01:17:36,717 But why did you start with moors? 1707 01:17:36,719 --> 01:17:38,519 It doesn't matter, the -- the people I'm talkin' about 1708 01:17:38,521 --> 01:17:40,254 were one and the same, moors were muslims. 1709 01:17:40,256 --> 01:17:43,524 No, I'm not Roger Muslim. I'm Roger Moore. 1710 01:17:43,526 --> 01:17:46,727 Dear god. Oh, dear. 1711 01:17:46,729 --> 01:17:48,796 Oh, I've bought you a ticket the first thing in the morning 1712 01:17:48,798 --> 01:17:49,897 to see the alhambra. 1713 01:17:49,899 --> 01:17:51,632 - Oh, brilliant. Great, great. - Yeah. 1714 01:17:51,634 --> 01:17:52,867 Rob, I've got one for you too. 1715 01:17:52,869 --> 01:17:55,836 Can I go later? Can I go after breakfast? 1716 01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:57,038 It'll be busy. 1717 01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:59,240 Yolanda, you should come with me. 1718 01:17:59,242 --> 01:18:02,143 I can't. I have to take an early flight back to London. 1719 01:18:02,145 --> 01:18:03,944 - Really? That's a shame. - Hm. 1720 01:18:03,946 --> 01:18:05,446 You're leavin' me alone with him? 1721 01:18:05,448 --> 01:18:08,282 Ah, you won't be alone. I'm coming with you to malaga. 1722 01:18:08,284 --> 01:18:10,484 I'm gonna make sure Joe gets to you safely. 1723 01:18:10,486 --> 01:18:11,919 - Thank the lord. - Great. 1724 01:18:21,663 --> 01:18:23,798 - Hello? - Hey, hey, dad. 1725 01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:26,500 - Hey. How you doin'? - I'm.. 1726 01:18:26,502 --> 01:18:28,002 Yeah, I'm -- I'm good. How are you? 1727 01:18:28,004 --> 01:18:30,571 Um, great. Really looking forward to seeing you. 1728 01:18:30,573 --> 01:18:33,841 Well, I've, I've, uh, I've missed you, buddy. 1729 01:18:33,843 --> 01:18:37,311 Uh, yeah, that was, that was what I was calling about, actually. 1730 01:18:37,313 --> 01:18:40,381 Uh, yeah. Emma's, Emma's, uh, she's been in touch, right? 1731 01:18:40,383 --> 01:18:42,049 She said she's organized all the flights -- 1732 01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:44,952 no, dad. I can't come. 1733 01:18:47,355 --> 01:18:49,623 What do you m -- what are you talking about? 1734 01:18:49,625 --> 01:18:51,692 I just -- i just can't come. 1735 01:18:51,694 --> 01:18:55,463 I need to, I need to stay here with Helen. 1736 01:18:55,465 --> 01:18:57,431 What's going on? Talk to me. 1737 01:18:59,134 --> 01:19:00,668 She's pregnant. 1738 01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:07,875 - You're fucking kidding me. - She's.. 1739 01:19:07,877 --> 01:19:10,311 - You fucking idiot. - She's pregnant. 1740 01:19:10,313 --> 01:19:13,147 I need to stay here with her, so we can figure out what we're gonna do. 1741 01:19:13,149 --> 01:19:14,548 Wait, wait, wait, wait.. 1742 01:19:14,550 --> 01:19:16,450 Are you certain she's pregnant? 1743 01:19:16,452 --> 01:19:18,252 Yes, she's definitely pregnant. 1744 01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:21,188 And you're sure it's, it's yours? 1745 01:19:21,190 --> 01:19:22,957 - Dad! - Um.. 1746 01:19:24,659 --> 01:19:26,093 Um.. 1747 01:19:28,363 --> 01:19:30,030 You're 20 years old. 1748 01:19:30,032 --> 01:19:32,566 You're too young to have a kid. You know, it's -- it's.. 1749 01:19:32,568 --> 01:19:34,135 Any decisions you make now 1750 01:19:34,137 --> 01:19:36,804 will have ramifications for the rest of your life. 1751 01:19:38,073 --> 01:19:39,306 Yes, I know 1752 01:19:39,308 --> 01:19:42,576 but I'm not just making decisions for me anymore. 1753 01:19:42,578 --> 01:19:45,980 I need to think about her and we need to think about what we're gonna do. 1754 01:19:45,982 --> 01:19:47,348 Hah. 1755 01:19:48,951 --> 01:19:50,451 - Okay. - Sorry. 1756 01:19:50,453 --> 01:19:52,486 You see, you don't have to be sorry, okay? 1757 01:19:54,156 --> 01:19:57,091 It's okay. It doesn't -- doesn't matter about coming over here. 1758 01:19:57,093 --> 01:19:59,226 You know, it just, um.. 1759 01:19:59,228 --> 01:20:02,530 Whatever happens, I'm -- I'm -- I'm here for you, alright? 1760 01:20:02,532 --> 01:20:04,231 - Thanks, dad. - And I love you. 1761 01:20:05,233 --> 01:20:06,734 Love you too. 1762 01:20:08,403 --> 01:20:10,437 Okay. Listen, um.. 1763 01:20:12,774 --> 01:20:14,542 And don't worry about it, alright? 1764 01:20:14,544 --> 01:20:17,044 Hm. Yeah. 1765 01:20:17,046 --> 01:20:19,914 I love you, and I'll talk to you later, okay? 1766 01:20:19,916 --> 01:20:21,715 Yeah. Love you too. 1767 01:20:38,700 --> 01:20:40,935 Gracias. 1768 01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:13,601 Hey, good morning. 1769 01:21:13,603 --> 01:21:15,202 Buenos dias, amigo coogan. 1770 01:21:16,071 --> 01:21:17,938 How was the alhambra? 1771 01:21:17,940 --> 01:21:20,774 It was, uh, good, it was good 1772 01:21:20,776 --> 01:21:24,712 but it was, uh, you know, beautiful 1773 01:21:24,714 --> 01:21:26,580 spiritual, blah, blah, blah. 1774 01:21:26,582 --> 01:21:27,915 You okay? 1775 01:21:29,117 --> 01:21:31,051 Joe's not comin' out. 1776 01:21:31,053 --> 01:21:32,987 What? Why? 1777 01:21:32,989 --> 01:21:35,689 Uh, his girlfriend's pregnant. 1778 01:21:35,691 --> 01:21:37,191 Oh, my god. 1779 01:21:38,426 --> 01:21:40,361 - Bloody hell. - What's he gonna do? 1780 01:21:40,363 --> 01:21:42,529 Ah, well, i told him he had options. 1781 01:21:42,531 --> 01:21:44,331 What does that mean? 1782 01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:46,433 Well, he's too young to -- to be a dad. 1783 01:21:46,435 --> 01:21:48,102 He's not very worldly, you know? 1784 01:21:48,104 --> 01:21:49,904 You know what this means, don't you? 1785 01:21:57,179 --> 01:21:59,346 I'd start thinking about it. 1786 01:22:02,118 --> 01:22:04,285 You're gonna be a granddad. 1787 01:22:05,553 --> 01:22:07,388 Thank you, lord. 1788 01:22:13,461 --> 01:22:15,896 Look at those. Ah. 1789 01:22:15,898 --> 01:22:17,865 Yeah, a lot of people think they're ugly 'cause they're modern 1790 01:22:17,867 --> 01:22:21,201 but I think they're, they're beautiful 'cause they're functional. 1791 01:22:21,203 --> 01:22:23,504 "Tilting at turbines." That's what we should call my, uh 1792 01:22:23,506 --> 01:22:25,039 book about Spain. 1793 01:22:25,041 --> 01:22:26,440 Good idea. 1794 01:22:31,313 --> 01:22:34,348 Oh, look, almeria. Isn't that where you were gonna take Joe snorkeling? 1795 01:22:34,350 --> 01:22:36,216 - Yeah, it was, yeah. - Oh. 1796 01:22:36,218 --> 01:22:38,886 I brought him here as a baby when I was filming. 1797 01:22:38,888 --> 01:22:40,387 How old was he? 1798 01:22:40,389 --> 01:22:42,856 - Oh, about six months. - Aww. 1799 01:22:42,858 --> 01:22:45,526 You know, we could still stop. We've got time. 1800 01:22:45,528 --> 01:22:48,362 I'll go snorkeling with you if you want. I -- I could be Joe. 1801 01:22:48,364 --> 01:22:51,865 You dressed in a nappy, crawling around on the beach eating sand 1802 01:22:51,867 --> 01:22:53,934 uh, only has limited appeal. 1803 01:22:53,936 --> 01:22:55,302 Well, it wouldn't be for everyone. 1804 01:22:55,304 --> 01:22:56,870 I mean, I'm the first to admit. 1805 01:22:56,872 --> 01:23:00,708 That was a long time ago when I was still married to his mom. 1806 01:23:01,676 --> 01:23:03,077 Yeah. 1807 01:23:31,806 --> 01:23:33,707 Do you know who lives in malaga? 1808 01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:35,275 The mayor of malaga. 1809 01:23:35,277 --> 01:23:37,778 - Yes. Correct. - Thank you. 1810 01:23:37,780 --> 01:23:39,146 And Sean Connery. 1811 01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:41,181 Marbella, Mr. coogan, marbella. 1812 01:23:41,183 --> 01:23:42,850 You make the mistake. He lives in marbella. 1813 01:23:42,852 --> 01:23:44,752 Yeah, but he -- he flies into malaga. 1814 01:23:48,189 --> 01:23:49,656 Uh, by all accounts 1815 01:23:49,658 --> 01:23:53,227 he's a very well-respected pillar of the society. 1816 01:23:53,229 --> 01:23:56,563 Yes, he's, uh, very active in his civic, civic duties. 1817 01:23:56,565 --> 01:24:00,401 I like to get involved. Uh, the recycling, for example. 1818 01:24:00,403 --> 01:24:03,370 Plastics on a Friday, cardboard on a Saturday. 1819 01:24:05,006 --> 01:24:06,607 Do you expect me to talk? 1820 01:24:06,609 --> 01:24:08,475 No, Mr. bond. I expect you to die. 1821 01:24:08,477 --> 01:24:11,345 - Well.. - This is the Russian salad. 1822 01:24:11,347 --> 01:24:12,446 Thank you. 1823 01:24:13,582 --> 01:24:15,816 When he met cubby broccoli 1824 01:24:15,818 --> 01:24:17,718 and, uh, Harry Saltzman 1825 01:24:17,720 --> 01:24:20,454 to discuss the role, as he left the meeting 1826 01:24:20,456 --> 01:24:24,158 and they looked out of the window and said he.. Not yet. 1827 01:24:24,160 --> 01:24:26,860 And said.. "What are you doing?" 1828 01:24:26,862 --> 01:24:28,996 Getting ready to do Sean Connery. 1829 01:24:28,998 --> 01:24:31,899 You appear to be doing him already. 1830 01:24:31,901 --> 01:24:35,202 As he left the building, and he walked out across regent street 1831 01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:39,039 they looked down and said, "that man is bond. He moves like a panther." 1832 01:24:39,041 --> 01:24:40,641 - Like a panther. - Like a panther. 1833 01:24:40,643 --> 01:24:42,776 Yes, but walking like a panther 1834 01:24:42,778 --> 01:24:46,146 is not enough to bag you the role of James Bond 1835 01:24:46,148 --> 01:24:50,250 because, of course, bond is also something of a bulldog, so -- 1836 01:24:50,252 --> 01:24:51,351 he was primarily -- 1837 01:24:51,353 --> 01:24:53,754 he had to be a combination of a panther 1838 01:24:53,756 --> 01:24:55,889 and, and a bulldog. 1839 01:24:55,891 --> 01:24:59,259 Apologies if I've been dragging my ass around the carpet 1840 01:24:59,261 --> 01:25:01,295 because I may have worms. 1841 01:25:01,297 --> 01:25:04,131 I have a very itchy anus, i apologize now 1842 01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:06,733 but it's part and parcel of being a panther or a dog. 1843 01:25:06,735 --> 01:25:08,535 When you introduce me to blofeld 1844 01:25:08,537 --> 01:25:11,271 perhaps I should curl up and lick my balls. 1845 01:25:16,711 --> 01:25:19,213 I think I make quite a good knight, don't I? 1846 01:25:19,215 --> 01:25:20,714 - Yeah. - You do, actually, yeah. 1847 01:25:20,716 --> 01:25:21,715 With the best one in the world 1848 01:25:21,717 --> 01:25:23,217 you could never be El cid. 1849 01:25:23,219 --> 01:25:26,320 You could be a chap called sid, just not El cid. 1850 01:25:26,322 --> 01:25:27,955 - I could be old sid. - Yeah. 1851 01:25:27,957 --> 01:25:29,756 - You could be old sid. - Old El cid. 1852 01:25:29,758 --> 01:25:32,726 Look me in the eye and tell me you think you could play El cid 1853 01:25:32,728 --> 01:25:34,862 in a remake, the charlton heston role. 1854 01:25:34,864 --> 01:25:37,631 I mean, then you could certainly play Michael hordern in El cid. 1855 01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:40,067 - Who did he play? - Someone's dad. I can't remember. 1856 01:25:40,069 --> 01:25:41,902 Oh. You know who Michael hordern was? 1857 01:25:41,904 --> 01:25:43,904 - Michael hordern? - I don't. 1858 01:25:43,906 --> 01:25:45,038 Michael hordern would go.. 1859 01:25:45,040 --> 01:25:48,041 - Uh, Paddington bear -- - yeah, I know -- 1860 01:25:48,043 --> 01:25:50,978 that wasn't Michael hordern, that was Michel hordern's horse. 1861 01:25:50,980 --> 01:25:53,247 Michael hordern. 1862 01:25:53,249 --> 01:25:55,816 Didn't he do "no man's land" with gielgud? 1863 01:25:55,818 --> 01:25:57,484 You wouldn't know, it's theater, but he did. 1864 01:25:57,486 --> 01:25:58,519 - Did he? - Yeah. 1865 01:25:58,521 --> 01:26:00,187 You know who's doing it now? 1866 01:26:00,189 --> 01:26:02,923 I -- Ian mckellen. "You shall not have the ring --" 1867 01:26:02,925 --> 01:26:06,527 Ian mckellen speaks like that with a slight.. 1868 01:26:06,529 --> 01:26:09,329 However refined he is, northern flat vowels. 1869 01:26:09,331 --> 01:26:10,397 Yes. Gracias. 1870 01:26:10,399 --> 01:26:11,465 Finito. 1871 01:26:11,467 --> 01:26:13,800 Muchos gracias. 1872 01:26:13,802 --> 01:26:15,435 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1873 01:26:15,437 --> 01:26:17,871 Yeah, but you're missing a bit of campness, you see, because Ian -- 1874 01:26:17,873 --> 01:26:19,339 well, no, i think you overplay that. 1875 01:26:19,341 --> 01:26:22,342 No, no, no, no, no, no.. 1876 01:26:22,344 --> 01:26:23,844 You don't quite get it -- 1877 01:26:23,846 --> 01:26:26,446 I've spoken to him in person. Oh, you do make me laugh. 1878 01:26:26,448 --> 01:26:29,116 I have met him many, many times. 1879 01:26:29,118 --> 01:26:32,052 - How many times? - Many, many times. 1880 01:26:32,054 --> 01:26:36,023 And you don't get the musicality when he throws a line up -- 1881 01:26:36,025 --> 01:26:38,892 that was good. That was good. 1882 01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:42,529 But still with the flat vowels, they're very much in evidence 1883 01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:45,065 however much he may try to be the supronunciation 1884 01:26:45,067 --> 01:26:46,767 with the vowels. 1885 01:26:46,769 --> 01:26:49,937 Oh, you do make me laugh, you really do. Oh, you do make me laugh. 1886 01:26:49,939 --> 01:26:52,005 Oh. We need a laugh, don't we? 1887 01:26:52,007 --> 01:26:54,341 Oh. You do make me laugh, rob, you do. 1888 01:26:54,343 --> 01:26:56,677 Does he do that more in private though? 1889 01:26:56,679 --> 01:26:59,046 'Cause when he met me, he said, "you're a very good actor." 1890 01:27:10,124 --> 01:27:11,692 - Ooh, yum! - Ah! 1891 01:27:11,694 --> 01:27:14,461 - Enjoy. - Gracias, gracias. 1892 01:27:14,463 --> 01:27:16,697 Do you wanna come back with me? I can get you on the same flight. 1893 01:27:16,699 --> 01:27:19,866 No, I'll stay. Thank you. Um, I'm gonna write.. I'm gonna finish my book. 1894 01:27:19,868 --> 01:27:22,336 I think the word you're looking for is start. 1895 01:27:26,207 --> 01:27:27,841 Thinkin' about Joe. 1896 01:27:27,843 --> 01:27:30,377 Twenty is a young age to have a child. 1897 01:27:30,379 --> 01:27:31,979 How old were you when you had your kids? 1898 01:27:31,981 --> 01:27:34,881 - Forty-three. - A bit of a difference. 1899 01:27:34,883 --> 01:27:37,818 Yes. I didn't drink till I was 35. 1900 01:27:37,820 --> 01:27:39,253 Had my first child at 43. 1901 01:27:39,255 --> 01:27:41,455 Are the two related? We'll never know. 1902 01:27:41,457 --> 01:27:43,824 How old? Yeah, what's her name, the girlfriend? 1903 01:27:43,826 --> 01:27:45,926 - Helen. She's 19. - Ah! 1904 01:27:45,928 --> 01:27:48,562 - Nineteen? - Gosh. 1905 01:27:48,564 --> 01:27:50,197 Only 19 years old. 1906 01:27:52,033 --> 01:27:55,302 She was only 19 years old. 1907 01:27:55,304 --> 01:27:57,137 I don't mean any disrespect, Steve, but -- 1908 01:27:57,139 --> 01:28:00,407 she was only 19, she was only.. You've got to get the voice, mate. 1909 01:28:00,409 --> 01:28:02,476 Well, you got emosh in your voice when you say it. 1910 01:28:02,478 --> 01:28:03,944 - She was only -- - now he has. 1911 01:28:03,946 --> 01:28:05,646 She was 19 years old. 1912 01:28:05,648 --> 01:28:07,214 Joe, who's met the young lady -- 1913 01:28:07,216 --> 01:28:11,218 she was, she was only 19 years old. 1914 01:28:11,220 --> 01:28:14,888 When Joe and Helen had a child 1915 01:28:14,890 --> 01:28:17,090 she was only 19-years-old. 1916 01:28:17,092 --> 01:28:20,160 She was only.. It's actually 16 in the film. 1917 01:28:20,162 --> 01:28:24,665 I know that, but Helen was only 19 years old 1918 01:28:24,667 --> 01:28:26,433 and she had a child with Joe. 1919 01:28:26,435 --> 01:28:28,702 She had a grandfather who was so talented 1920 01:28:28,704 --> 01:28:30,437 who was so gifted. 1921 01:28:30,439 --> 01:28:33,607 - He was only -- - the grandfather was only 50 years old. 1922 01:28:33,609 --> 01:28:35,475 Fifty years old. 1923 01:28:35,477 --> 01:28:37,678 Hey, do you know who was born in malaga? 1924 01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:39,179 - No. - Picasso. 1925 01:28:39,181 --> 01:28:40,347 - Who? - Picasso. 1926 01:28:40,349 --> 01:28:41,515 - Is that true? - Yeah. 1927 01:28:41,517 --> 01:28:43,717 They've -- they've opened a museum to him. 1928 01:28:43,719 --> 01:28:46,953 Who played Picasso in a very popular film of the last ten years? 1929 01:28:46,955 --> 01:28:48,388 Who was it? No, ask Emma. 1930 01:28:48,390 --> 01:28:50,390 Who played Picasso? 1931 01:28:50,392 --> 01:28:54,027 Guess, it's one of rob's five impressions. That should narrow it down. 1932 01:28:54,029 --> 01:28:55,862 It wasn't tom Jones, it wasn't tom Jones. 1933 01:28:55,864 --> 01:28:57,264 - No, I wouldn't have thought that. - Wasn't tom Jones? 1934 01:28:57,266 --> 01:28:58,699 - Okay, we're getting closer. - Spanish, Spanish. 1935 01:28:58,701 --> 01:29:00,600 - You're getting warmer. - Tony Hopkins. 1936 01:29:00,602 --> 01:29:04,538 Tony Hopkins played a, a surviving, surviving Picasso. 1937 01:29:04,540 --> 01:29:06,073 I played the painter, wonderful man. 1938 01:29:06,075 --> 01:29:08,709 Uh, I don't like to talk about it. I like to draw. 1939 01:29:08,711 --> 01:29:10,944 I like to put the eyes here, the nose there. 1940 01:29:10,946 --> 01:29:13,013 - The mouth up there. - He played Picasso as a welshman? 1941 01:29:13,015 --> 01:29:14,414 Well, he didn't, he didn't, sir. 1942 01:29:14,416 --> 01:29:16,616 - He didn't do a Spanish accent, Steve. - Did he not? 1943 01:29:16,618 --> 01:29:18,752 He doesn't have your versatility. Let's be honest. 1944 01:29:18,754 --> 01:29:22,389 Known to paint and he painted the paintings in a figurative way. 1945 01:29:22,391 --> 01:29:24,691 He knew how to do still life and he knew how to, uh 1946 01:29:24,693 --> 01:29:26,493 you know, paint, uh, the radius. 1947 01:29:26,495 --> 01:29:29,129 Pablo, Pablo, uh, some of the men are saying 1948 01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:31,164 that you're painting in a very strange way. 1949 01:29:31,166 --> 01:29:33,934 They're saying that the nose is where the eyes should be. 1950 01:29:33,936 --> 01:29:36,269 - Some of them are saying you're a cubist. - Oh, Pablo, is it? 1951 01:29:36,271 --> 01:29:37,938 Not captain or sir? Um, eh? 1952 01:29:37,940 --> 01:29:39,639 They're a rambling, skip load. 1953 01:29:39,641 --> 01:29:40,874 They want me to put the nose in the front of the face 1954 01:29:40,876 --> 01:29:42,109 in the middle, like that. 1955 01:29:42,111 --> 01:29:43,810 Right? And the eyes next -- next to the nose? 1956 01:29:43,812 --> 01:29:44,945 - Is that what you want? - Yes, sir. 1957 01:29:44,947 --> 01:29:47,047 Tell the men I'm gonna put the nose 1958 01:29:47,049 --> 01:29:48,882 where the cheek is and we'll put the eyes up here 1959 01:29:48,884 --> 01:29:50,517 and the mouth round the corner. 1960 01:29:50,519 --> 01:29:52,753 And we'll sail down to the cape of good hope, goddamn ya, sir. 1961 01:29:52,755 --> 01:29:54,121 Will put the eyes where I want to 1962 01:29:54,123 --> 01:29:55,355 and the nose where I want to. 1963 01:29:55,357 --> 01:29:56,423 If you turn your back on me 1964 01:29:56,425 --> 01:29:58,158 I shall put two eyes on your back 1965 01:29:58,160 --> 01:29:59,559 and a nose down by your ass. 1966 01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:00,961 Do you want that, sir? Is that what you want, sir? 1967 01:30:00,963 --> 01:30:02,329 Don't turn your back on me. 1968 01:30:02,331 --> 01:30:04,598 I will draw you like a cubist. That's what I'll do. 1969 01:30:04,600 --> 01:30:07,434 If you turn your back on me, I'll put a nose on your bottom, sir. 1970 01:30:07,436 --> 01:30:09,803 Down the hole is a good way, down the hole we shall go. 1971 01:30:09,805 --> 01:30:12,839 What's interesting about Picasso is and why I love him 1972 01:30:12,841 --> 01:30:15,308 his early paintings are very orthodox. 1973 01:30:15,310 --> 01:30:16,777 - Very accessible. - Yeah, yeah. 1974 01:30:16,779 --> 01:30:18,578 He knew how to do all that, but he said 1975 01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:21,348 "that's not enough, I want to rewrite the rulebook 1976 01:30:21,350 --> 01:30:22,983 and be radical and avant- garde." 1977 01:30:22,985 --> 01:30:25,619 Are you a bit like Picasso, Steve? 1978 01:30:25,621 --> 01:30:29,189 - Well, I, I empathize with his point of view. - Yes, he is, he is! 1979 01:30:29,191 --> 01:30:30,724 - He's gonna say it. - What I'm saying is -- 1980 01:30:30,726 --> 01:30:32,559 can I record this? Hang on, hang on, let me.. 1981 01:30:43,704 --> 01:30:46,039 - Hola. Buenas tardes. - Hola. Buenas tardes. 1982 01:30:46,041 --> 01:30:49,109 Um, I've got a reservation, Steve coogan. 1983 01:30:50,945 --> 01:30:53,013 "This castle is gibralfaro 1984 01:30:53,015 --> 01:30:55,649 "named after the same man as Gibraltar. 1985 01:30:55,651 --> 01:30:59,186 "When the moors came in 711 they were only a few thousand. 1986 01:30:59,188 --> 01:31:00,353 "Within a couple of years 1987 01:31:00,355 --> 01:31:03,457 they controlled almost all of Spain." 1988 01:31:03,459 --> 01:31:07,227 That's exactly the same as Isis and the modern caliphate 1989 01:31:07,229 --> 01:31:08,762 because there was only a few thousands of them 1990 01:31:08,764 --> 01:31:11,665 and yet they controlled half of Syria and half of Iraq. 1991 01:31:11,667 --> 01:31:13,633 And they're trying to emulate what the moors did 1992 01:31:13,635 --> 01:31:16,570 when they had controlled everywhere from cordoba to Baghdad. 1993 01:31:16,572 --> 01:31:18,839 Well, Isis aren't tolerant. They're not doing it with tolerance and -- 1994 01:31:18,841 --> 01:31:21,107 no, they're not, but islam, uh, is -- 1995 01:31:21,109 --> 01:31:23,243 can we stop talking about Isis? 1996 01:31:23,245 --> 01:31:25,879 Cervantes was captured by barbary pirates 1997 01:31:25,881 --> 01:31:28,448 and taken to Algiers and there was a price on his head. 1998 01:31:28,450 --> 01:31:32,118 And when the ransom was paid, he let his brother go instead of him. 1999 01:31:32,120 --> 01:31:33,687 - Is that true? - That is true. 2000 01:31:33,689 --> 01:31:35,856 He let his brother go when he could've gone? 2001 01:31:35,858 --> 01:31:37,257 - Yeah. - Wow. 2002 01:31:37,259 --> 01:31:38,391 I know. 2003 01:31:38,393 --> 01:31:39,993 Not sure I'd do that. Would you do that? 2004 01:31:39,995 --> 01:31:42,963 - Let your brother go? - Uh, probably not. 2005 01:31:42,965 --> 01:31:44,364 No, I don't think I would either 2006 01:31:44,366 --> 01:31:46,466 even with the best one in the world. 2007 01:31:46,468 --> 01:31:49,069 I think if my child was there, they could take my child. 2008 01:31:49,071 --> 01:31:51,838 - Oh, yeah, absolutely. - I'd let any child go. 2009 01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:54,307 - Any child? - Any child. 2010 01:31:54,309 --> 01:31:56,676 As long as it, you know, I mean.. Not, not any child. 2011 01:31:56,678 --> 01:31:58,979 I mean, they'd have to be worth the effort. 2012 01:31:58,981 --> 01:32:02,115 Well, cervantes, when he tried to escape, he was captured. 2013 01:32:02,117 --> 01:32:04,017 He had a noose around his neck, he was taken to Hassan 2014 01:32:04,019 --> 01:32:05,519 the leader of Algiers 2015 01:32:05,521 --> 01:32:09,322 and he became his lover to literally save his neck. 2016 01:32:09,324 --> 01:32:10,490 - Bum or neck? - Yeah. 2017 01:32:10,492 --> 01:32:11,958 If that's what it comes down to, yes. 2018 01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:14,928 - Life or bum. - Well, either way, you're buggered. 2019 01:32:15,964 --> 01:32:18,465 Let me say now, I'm in. I -- I, uh -- 2020 01:32:18,467 --> 01:32:20,901 - really? - He's in, rather. He's in. 2021 01:32:20,903 --> 01:32:23,737 Ah, but they became lovers, so it'd be in out, in out. 2022 01:32:23,739 --> 01:32:25,171 - All -- - see that ferry? 2023 01:32:25,173 --> 01:32:28,408 - Yeah. - That's the ferry for Africa. 2024 01:32:28,410 --> 01:32:29,809 - Really? - Hm. 2025 01:32:34,081 --> 01:32:38,652 Yeah, it's always good to say goodbye in the mist 2026 01:32:38,654 --> 01:32:41,688 like, uh, the end of "Casablanca." 2027 01:32:43,291 --> 01:32:45,725 Could be the start of a beautiful friendship. 2028 01:32:45,727 --> 01:32:47,527 Could be the start of a beautiful friendship. 2029 01:32:47,529 --> 01:32:49,296 - Could be the start of a beautiful friendship. - You gotta get the depth. 2030 01:32:49,298 --> 01:32:51,331 I got the depth right there. 2031 01:32:53,334 --> 01:32:55,235 Look at that mystical city. 2032 01:32:59,941 --> 01:33:03,410 Right. I'm gonna make a move. Um, early flight. 2033 01:33:03,412 --> 01:33:06,012 - Okay. - Yeah. Me, too, actually. 2034 01:33:06,014 --> 01:33:09,583 - Oh, yeah. - Mm. Oh. 2035 01:33:09,585 --> 01:33:12,085 - We say our goodbyes now. - Okay, okay. 2036 01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,453 Yeah. Sure you're gonna be alright? 2037 01:33:13,455 --> 01:33:15,822 - Yeah. Yeah, no, it's, uh.. - Okay. 2038 01:33:15,824 --> 01:33:17,591 I'm gonna look forward to this week, writing and -- 2039 01:33:17,593 --> 01:33:20,293 - alright, good. - What have you, you know? 2040 01:33:20,295 --> 01:33:22,495 Hey, what can we say? 2041 01:33:22,497 --> 01:33:24,731 - It's been a week. - It has. 2042 01:33:24,733 --> 01:33:27,167 And I'll see you.. 2043 01:33:27,169 --> 01:33:29,569 In another country. 2044 01:33:29,571 --> 01:33:30,971 - In the future. - Yeah, in the future. 2045 01:33:30,973 --> 01:33:32,973 - Have fun now. - Yeah, okay. 2046 01:33:32,975 --> 01:33:34,808 Bye. 2047 01:33:34,810 --> 01:33:36,443 Now I disappear into the mist. 2048 01:33:38,046 --> 01:33:40,413 Could be the start of a beautiful friendship. 2049 01:34:38,239 --> 01:34:39,472 - Buenos dias. - Hi. 2050 01:34:39,474 --> 01:34:41,107 - Oh, you're English. - Yeah. 2051 01:34:41,109 --> 01:34:43,810 My name's ambrose. I'm the son of the owners here. 2052 01:34:43,812 --> 01:34:45,011 Oh, right. Great, great. 2053 01:34:45,013 --> 01:34:46,079 Hey, can I help you with your bags? 2054 01:34:46,081 --> 01:34:47,447 Yeah, sure. 2055 01:34:49,650 --> 01:34:52,452 So, this will be your room. 2056 01:34:52,454 --> 01:34:54,421 Oh, this is great, yeah. Very cozy. 2057 01:34:55,890 --> 01:34:59,325 Now we thought there were going to be two of you, but.. 2058 01:34:59,327 --> 01:35:02,228 Yeah, my son, uh, was gonna come, but he, he couldn't make it. 2059 01:35:02,230 --> 01:35:03,963 Oh, well. 2060 01:35:03,965 --> 01:35:05,498 Right. Well, I'll leave you now. 2061 01:35:05,500 --> 01:35:07,434 Okay. How -- how old are you, by the way? 2062 01:35:07,436 --> 01:35:09,903 - Seventeen. - Oh. 2063 01:35:09,905 --> 01:35:11,104 Well, okay. Thank you. 2064 01:35:11,106 --> 01:35:13,139 - Yeah. - Thanks, ambrose. 2065 01:35:23,951 --> 01:35:26,920 - Guess who it is. - Hey! 2066 01:35:26,922 --> 01:35:28,788 How -- how's it been? 2067 01:35:28,790 --> 01:35:31,057 - It was good. - Yeah? 2068 01:35:31,059 --> 01:35:32,859 - Where's the team? Hiya. - We're all here. 2069 01:35:32,861 --> 01:35:34,260 - Oh. - Where are you? 2070 01:35:34,262 --> 01:35:35,261 - Good to see you. - Hey. 2071 01:35:35,263 --> 01:35:37,197 - Oh. We missed you. - Come on. 2072 01:35:37,199 --> 01:35:40,400 - Daddy. - Come on. 2073 01:35:43,105 --> 01:35:44,738 - How's my girl? - Good. 2074 01:35:44,740 --> 01:35:45,839 - You good? - Good. 2075 01:35:45,841 --> 01:35:47,741 - Who's your favorite parent? - You. 2076 01:35:47,743 --> 01:35:50,844 - Yay! - Thanks. Okay. 2077 01:35:50,846 --> 01:35:53,346 - Hi. - Hi. 2078 01:35:53,948 --> 01:35:55,982 How are you? 2079 01:35:55,984 --> 01:35:58,451 - I'm good. - Where are you? 2080 01:35:58,453 --> 01:36:01,321 I'm in, uh, andalucia 2081 01:36:01,323 --> 01:36:04,023 in -- in the mountains. It's great. 2082 01:36:04,025 --> 01:36:05,925 Is Joe there? 2083 01:36:05,927 --> 01:36:09,596 No, he's not, no. Look, you should come out here. 2084 01:36:09,598 --> 01:36:11,765 I can't. 2085 01:36:11,767 --> 01:36:13,566 Why not? What is it, work? 2086 01:36:13,568 --> 01:36:15,101 I just can't. 2087 01:36:16,203 --> 01:36:17,904 Why, why not? 2088 01:36:19,907 --> 01:36:21,441 I'm pregnant. 2089 01:36:22,710 --> 01:36:25,478 - What? - Yeah, I know it's stupid. 2090 01:36:28,549 --> 01:36:30,316 Well, is it mine? 2091 01:36:32,052 --> 01:36:33,386 No. 2092 01:36:37,725 --> 01:36:40,727 - Is it Adam's? - Yeah. 2093 01:36:41,695 --> 01:36:43,296 Are you sure? 2094 01:36:44,331 --> 01:36:46,132 Pretty sure. 2095 01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:49,269 I thought you weren't sleeping with him anymore. 2096 01:36:49,271 --> 01:36:52,505 Look, I gotta go. He's waiting for me downstairs. 2097 01:36:52,507 --> 01:36:54,841 What, what, he's back in New York? 2098 01:36:56,610 --> 01:36:59,312 Yeah. Look, I gotta go. 2099 01:36:59,314 --> 01:37:02,015 I'm sorry. Take care. 2100 01:37:18,533 --> 01:37:20,934 It's the number one song in the charts. 2101 01:37:20,936 --> 01:37:22,468 "Turtle on your head." 2102 01:37:22,470 --> 01:37:23,903 I thought Charlie was gonna be in bed. 2103 01:37:23,905 --> 01:37:25,905 Well, technically, he's in bed now. Aren't you, Charlie? 2104 01:37:25,907 --> 01:37:27,473 - Yeah, he's in his bed. - 'Cause dinner's ready. 2105 01:37:33,013 --> 01:37:34,848 Uh.. 2106 01:37:34,850 --> 01:37:36,115 No, no esta noche. 2107 01:37:36,117 --> 01:37:37,984 - Muy bien. - Soy no muy hambriento. 2108 01:37:37,986 --> 01:37:39,552 Muy bien, gracias. 2109 01:37:44,058 --> 01:37:46,159 - Mm. - Oh, I've missed you. 2110 01:37:46,161 --> 01:37:48,795 Mm. I've missed you too. 2111 01:37:48,797 --> 01:37:51,798 But now he was back and there's no reason 2112 01:37:51,800 --> 01:37:55,134 that we can't resume hostilities.. 2113 01:37:56,203 --> 01:38:00,373 ...as we did before he left. 2114 01:38:02,077 --> 01:38:03,843 - Oh, god. - Right. 2115 01:38:03,845 --> 01:38:05,645 - That's you, not me. - No, it's your turn. 2116 01:38:05,647 --> 01:38:07,080 - You can climb over. - I.. 2117 01:38:07,082 --> 01:38:08,414 - Come on. - I've been doing it all week. 2118 01:38:08,416 --> 01:38:10,216 I've been away for a week. 2119 01:38:13,721 --> 01:38:16,289 Quickly, and then we can get back to what we were doing. 2120 01:38:16,291 --> 01:38:18,591 Oh, no, the moment's gone. You can forget that. 2121 01:38:18,593 --> 01:38:20,493 I might've fallen asleep. 2122 01:38:20,495 --> 01:38:23,096 What's the matter? Did you drop him? 2123 01:38:23,098 --> 01:38:24,864 Have you dropped him, eh? 2124 01:38:24,866 --> 01:38:27,400 Did you want him? Yes. 2125 01:38:34,141 --> 01:38:36,409 The dragon looked back from the top of the castle. 2126 01:38:36,411 --> 01:38:39,479 He said, "i think you're scared of me. 2127 01:38:39,481 --> 01:38:43,049 I'm the biggest dragon in the whole world." 2128 01:38:43,051 --> 01:38:45,685 - It's gonna turn orange, isn't it? - Yeah. 2129 01:38:45,687 --> 01:38:47,520 Right, darling, have a gorgeous day. 2130 01:38:47,522 --> 01:38:50,323 Mommy's picking you up, okay? But I'll be home when you get back. 2131 01:38:52,560 --> 01:38:53,726 - Love you. - Bye. 2132 01:38:53,728 --> 01:38:54,894 See ya, have a good day. 2133 01:39:33,635 --> 01:39:36,769 Hey, Joe. It's dad. Um.. 2134 01:39:36,771 --> 01:39:39,272 I hope things are okay. Uh, call me. 2135 01:39:39,274 --> 01:39:43,009 Let's, uh...Touch base. 2136 01:39:43,011 --> 01:39:44,444 Tell me what's going on. 2137 01:40:23,551 --> 01:40:27,720 Hello. Hey! How you doing? 2138 01:40:27,722 --> 01:40:28,855 Where are you? It's noisy. 2139 01:40:28,857 --> 01:40:30,690 I thought you were in the mountains. 2140 01:40:30,692 --> 01:40:33,659 It's just the streets here in malaga, you know? 2141 01:40:34,762 --> 01:40:36,362 You're not in a bar, are you? 2142 01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:39,832 No, I'm not in a bar. No, no. Hey, listen, uh.. 2143 01:40:39,834 --> 01:40:42,668 Okay, so, I'm calling because, uh.. 2144 01:40:43,704 --> 01:40:46,005 ...um, I want to be with you. 2145 01:40:47,808 --> 01:40:49,709 - I know but -- - I don't care about the baby. 2146 01:40:49,711 --> 01:40:50,910 I mean, I do care about the baby. 2147 01:40:50,912 --> 01:40:52,078 What I mean is, uh -- uh.. 2148 01:40:52,080 --> 01:40:54,280 Yeah, I'll, I -- I.. 2149 01:40:54,282 --> 01:40:56,416 I -- I'll bring it up with you, you know? 2150 01:40:56,418 --> 01:40:59,719 We can raise it together. Uh, it'll have two dads. 2151 01:40:59,721 --> 01:41:02,321 Lots of people do that. 2152 01:41:02,323 --> 01:41:04,157 Yeah, lots of gay men. 2153 01:41:04,159 --> 01:41:06,025 So it'll have, like, two dads and one mom. 2154 01:41:06,027 --> 01:41:09,095 That's...It'll be a lucky kid. 2155 01:41:09,097 --> 01:41:11,764 I don't know. I'm in New York, you're in London -- 2156 01:41:11,766 --> 01:41:13,933 I'll move to New York. I love New York. 2157 01:41:13,935 --> 01:41:14,967 You know that. It -- it's.. 2158 01:41:17,338 --> 01:41:19,572 - Why, why don't you come out? - I don't know. 2159 01:41:19,574 --> 01:41:20,606 Come out. And tell you what? 2160 01:41:20,608 --> 01:41:22,408 We can go to the atlas mountains. 2161 01:41:22,410 --> 01:41:25,711 Hey, do you remember that hotel that you really like? 2162 01:41:25,713 --> 01:41:28,881 It's, I mean, I can get the ferry from here and, uh.. 2163 01:41:28,883 --> 01:41:31,517 You know, I can almost see Africa from here. 2164 01:42:34,081 --> 01:42:35,314 Ah.. 2165 01:42:53,167 --> 01:42:54,767 Oh. 2166 01:43:10,250 --> 01:43:11,651 Hello. 2167 01:43:13,420 --> 01:43:14,987 Nice surprise. 2168 01:43:17,124 --> 01:43:19,058 You're here already. 2169 01:43:19,060 --> 01:43:21,093 I've been waiting for you. 2170 01:43:24,398 --> 01:43:26,199 I've missed you. 2171 01:43:26,201 --> 01:43:27,800 I missed you. 2172 01:43:31,405 --> 01:43:32,772 I love you. 2173 01:43:58,466 --> 01:44:00,099 Oh, fuck. 2174 01:44:26,628 --> 01:44:27,960 Hello? 2175 01:44:27,962 --> 01:44:30,229 - Oh, hello, rob? - Hiya. Emma? 2176 01:44:30,231 --> 01:44:33,399 Uh, I was just wondering. Have you heard from Steve? 2177 01:44:33,401 --> 01:44:35,401 No. Why, should I? 2178 01:44:35,403 --> 01:44:36,469 He's checked out of the hotel 2179 01:44:36,471 --> 01:44:38,404 and I -- I don't know where he is. 2180 01:44:38,406 --> 01:44:40,773 Is he lost in la mancha? 2181 01:44:40,775 --> 01:44:43,175 Yeah, he's normally on the phone to me ten times a day 2182 01:44:43,177 --> 01:44:45,111 which is why I'm a bit worried. 2183 01:44:45,113 --> 01:44:48,114 He'll be sitting somewhere talking to a nun 2184 01:44:48,116 --> 01:44:51,550 and asking if she's heard of judi dench. 2185 01:45:32,359 --> 01:45:36,028 Allahu akbar! Allahu akbar!